Do i Have to Pay Child Maintenance

Takeaway_Addict

HoneyNutLoop wrote: »

Have i understood this correctly? - your advice is that the op should threaten to out the gay parent to an elderly homophophic relative if she doesn’t drop the child maintenance claim?

If i were the OP I'd have no issues doing this if the mother is trying to screw me over financially.


Sod them

FBaby

Whatever the legality of it, what a callous thing to do to go after you financially now. It used to be that single parent had to claim child maintenance to be entitled to benefits but it isn't the case any longer so she has no excuse to be chasing you rather than the other parent.

This is a recipe for disaster. Ultimately, it is triggering your consideration of having a relationship with the child, is it something she'll be happy with? And what about the other non paying parent? Have they've walked away or will they expect to see the child too. For all you know they are already paying amicably.

You won't have any choice but to pay as it is, but I would certainly want to know more about what is going on and think seriously what relationship you ws t with this child because what you can't do is go all fired up saying you want visitation - and be called dad? - to then decide its not worth it and disappear from the child's life.

Jemima_FuddleCup

LilElvis wrote: »

No raw nerves - I'm totally used to judgmental, ill-informed comments aimed at those, including me, who have donor-conceived children and ...

Yeah yeah whatever. (TL DR). Something's bothering you and it's not what's being written on an anonymous forum :whistle:

gomer

...... Fight!

swingaloo

The fact that you 'didn't know them well when they first contacted you' worries me.

I know its too late now but why on earth would you want to 'help' in this way when it could (and has) backfired so easily.

Jemima_FuddleCup

gomer wrote: »

...... Fight!

:rotfl::rotfl:

Handbags or swords?

Pollycat

swingaloo wrote: »

The fact that you 'didn't know them well when they first contacted you' worries me.

I know its too late now but why on earth would you want to 'help' in this way when it could (and has) backfired so easily.

Maybe the OP didn't expect it to backfire...
I'm pretty sure he didn't realise what financial implications were on the horizon.

lulu_92

swingaloo wrote: »

The fact that you 'didn't know them well when they first contacted you' worries me.

I know its too late now but why on earth would you want to 'help' in this way when it could (and has) backfired so easily.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if the couple have manipulated this situation for financial gain.

Comms69

dominicx wrote: »

true , i was upset and lost in it all , i wasn't thinking very clearly , i don't seek for child's custody kid will be better of with mother .

i am just upset to think it wasnt a relationship and was only a kind gift. now i have to pay 30-50k over all those year probably ..

At present child maintenance cannot be backdated

Comms69

LilElvis wrote: »

No raw nerves - I'm totally used to judgmental, ill-informed comments aimed at those, including me, who have donor-conceived children and therefore families created in a "different" way. It's not natural, you should accept you were meant to be childless, why not adopt, you're selfish ..... blah, blah, blah. - I'm not sure it's ill-informed. Personally I have no issue with it; but just because you don't like someone's opinion doesn't make it worth less.

I just roll my eyes at comments like "he is probably regretting those five minutes of fun now" because they are plain ignorant as a) he was donating to a lesbian couple so is unlikely to have had sex - agree, it seems very unlikely. Though given the lack of controls, it's possible and b) masturbating into a cup "on demand" knowing that everyone on the other side of the door knows what you are doing is hardly "fun". - I'm sure that's true.

I actually have almost as little sympathy for the OP as I do for the two mothers as none of them appear to have considered the long-term affects of their choices and how they may impact the child, culminating in this unholy mess.

Agreed, however it seems now that the chickens have come home to roost, the couple (or the mother) are out for their pound of flesh