Do i Have to Pay Child Maintenance

gomer

I'd ask for a dna test on the Turkey baster.


Just saying...

dominicx

You are right , the letter saying on top left Child Maintenance Service , i have now registered to their web portal with the info provided and it is real ..

moneyistooshorttomention

I took the "asking for joint custody" thing as a serious suggestion - they want to play that game, then you could be serious for all they know...

One thought along the "You play that game - and don't think it will be free of any comeback for you" is I guess many of us have been presuming this is a couple that are "open"/official/absolutely everyone knows the mother is gay?

I'm wondering if that is the case actually - or whether the mother has been keeping that fact a bit quiet from someone who wouldn't be too happy about it - but would just about accept her having a child in less conventional circumstances per se (ie as in not married)? I'm asking because there are parents around (and maybe not just in my parents rather elderly generation - including them) who would have "forty fits" if they discovered their adult child wasn't heterosexual and attempts at reconcilation with them would come a good bit harder than saying "I've had a child - but it wasn't inside a marriage". There certainly are people that would still be pretty unhappy at finding out someone was gay. Most of us, in the 21st century, will convey the message all round of "I'm heterosexual - don't try and chat me up unless you're the opposite sex" and then go "You do you - if you're not" and accept it if someone else isn't so. But that doesn't mean everyone does...and if this woman does have a parent/elderly gran who doesn't know and wouldn't be happy about it = you do have a card up your sleeve that you might tell them if this woman persists in trying to get money out of you.

Kayalana99

Not sure if this would help:

http://www.alternativefamilylaw.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/paternity_flow_chart.pdf

http://www.alternativefamilylaw.co.uk/children/legal-paternity-sperm-donation/

There is a few pieces in there about same sex couples...depends if they were married at the time too.

pinkshoes

dominicx wrote: »

You are right , the letter saying on top left Child Maintenance Service , i have now registered to their web portal with the info provided and it is real ..

It is definitely worth phoning them and explaining the situation and that the mother is gay.

I would also write to the mother stating that if she continues pursuing you for child maintenance, then you will be seeking a minimum of 50% custody.

(She would then also have to pay you child maintenance).

How old is the child now?

dominicx

thank you all so much for you help
child is nearly 2yr ,
i didnt think she is being gay would change anything but sure will try .

she doesn't work anymore and apparently she lives in a council property .. if i was to bring my financial status in a better place , i wonder if i can ask for full custody of this child to be looked after better ?

HampshireH

This thread is really interesting. Just out of interest, does the "other parent" not want any involvement in the child? Was in the female who has the child's egg the one used and she the carrier?

If not this surely becomes even more complicated - with a birth mother (legal parent), an egg donor and a sperm donor (being yourself - legal parent possibly). So an egg donor would be free of all responsibility?

We are assuming that there is just one mother as a legal parent. I may have missed whether you confirmed if they were in a civil partnership/marriage.

marcarm

dominicx wrote: »

thank you all so much for you help
child is nearly 2yr ,
i didnt think she is being gay would change anything but sure will try .

she doesn't work anymore and apparently she lives in a council property .. if i was to bring my financial status in a better place , i wonder if i can ask for full custody of this child to be looked after better ?

I have nothing to assist you, but I would just like to say, which I'm sure it was not your intention, but the fact the child is being raised in a council house has no bearing on whether it is looked after properly or not.

elsien

dominicx wrote: »

thank you all so much for you help
child is nearly 2yr ,
i didnt think she is being gay would change anything but sure will try .

she doesn't work anymore and apparently she lives in a council property .. if i was to bring my financial status in a better place , i wonder if i can ask for full custody of this child to be looked after better ?

Not convinced you're for real, but will ask anyway -

Be looked after better than what? Given you have had not contact since the turkey baster, you have no idea how the child is being brought up. And if you didn't think they were suitable parents, how come you offered your bodily fluids in the first place?

Pollycat

dominicx wrote: »

.. if i was to bring my financial status in a better place , i wonder if i can ask for full custody of this child to be looked after better ?

Do you really want custody of this child?
Do you really?