Do i Have to Pay Child Maintenance

dominicx

good points , when they first contacted me i didnt know much about them and when i visited them in their own house(been told) everything looked ok didn't think i would have a problem , it was me offering my services and them gay couple asking for help artificially .. i am not saying because she is living a council house that child not looked after well . i want to make sure the child is looked after well since it is in my conscious that there is an income problem and child needs extra support even tho i didn't want to be a part of the child's life now i have to based on what is online and what everyone is saying so i want to do my best ,.

elsien

Were you paid?

dominicx

no didnt do it for money .

HampshireH

dominicx wrote: »

no didnt do it for money .

Were you extremely close? I know its done now (obviously) but I cannot understand the motivation for such a high risk act if there wasn't even any payment.

I presume you all did some research in advance of offering this gift of life for free.

HoneyNutLoop

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

If you donated sperm to them through a licensed clinic, then you have no obligations, financial or legal to the child. If your help was of the unofficial kind, then you are potentially liable for maintenance.


https://www.gov.uk/legal-rights-for-egg-and-sperm-donors

This is the only post that is relevant to your legal position and child maintenance. With this warning being the most relevant bit:
If you use an unlicensed clinic to donate sperm, you will be the legal father of any child born from your donation under UK law.

As you have sorted it between you privately, you are the child’s other legal parent and the other woman from the couple that is now split up is, at best, a step parent.

The mother has probably applied for maintenance from you because she cannot from her ex.

There really is nothing you can do on the maintenance front.

If you are serious about now wanting a relationship with the child, you should look into applying to the courts for parental responsibility. If the other parent is not receptive to your request for contact, you would also need to look into a child arrangements order. It is unlikely you would be awarded 50/50 or full custody at this time, as you presently have no relationship with the child, but you can start the process of building a relationship and go from there.

Comms69

pinkshoes wrote: »

It is definitely worth phoning them and explaining the situation and that the mother is gay.

I would also write to the mother stating that if she continues pursuing you for child maintenance, then you will be seeking a minimum of 50% custody.

(She would then also have to pay you child maintenance).

How old is the child now?

That's not true. Even at 50% contact (custody doesn't exist in England) the NRP would pay 50% discount on the calculated rate

Silvertabby

“ If you donated sperm to them through a licensed clinic, then you have no obligations, financial or legal to the child. If your help was of the unofficial kind, then you are potentially liable for maintenance.


https://www.gov.uk/legal-rights-for-egg-and-sperm-donors
Originally posted by onomatopoeia99

HoneyNutLoop wrote: »

This is the only post that is relevant to your legal position and child maintenance. With this warning being the most relevant bit:
If you use an unlicensed clinic to donate sperm, you will be the legal father of any child born from your donation under UK law.

As you have sorted it between you privately, you are the child’s other legal parent and the other woman from the couple that is now split up is, at best, a step parent.

The mother has probably applied for maintenance from you because she cannot from her ex.

There really is nothing you can do on the maintenance front.

If you are serious about now wanting a relationship with the child, you should look into applying to the courts for parental responsibility. If the other parent is not receptive to your request for contact, you would also need to look into a child arrangements order. It is unlikely you would be awarded 50/50 or full custody at this time, as you presently have no relationship with the child, but you can start the process of building a relationship and go from there.

Looking at this from CMS's point of view (no, I don't work for them !) without a legal contract, they presumably have to 'assume' that the mother and father were in fact in a relationship when the child was conceived. Otherwise, fathers claiming to be just sperm donors could be a get-out clause of epic proportions.

moneyistooshorttomention

HampshireH wrote: »

Were you extremely close? I know its done now (obviously) but I cannot understand the motivation for such a high risk act if there wasn't even any payment.

I presume you all did some research in advance of offering this gift of life for free.

I'm guessing that OP is still young enough (eg in 20's, 30's) that there is still a degree of trusting other people to act "as they should"/do what they say they will.

With age cometh cynicism - from having had one too many people prove untrustworthy.:cool::(

Jemima_FuddleCup

elsien wrote: »

Not convinced you're for real, but will ask anyway -

Be looked after better than what? Given you have had not contact since the turkey baster, you have no idea how the child is being brought up. And if you didn't think they were suitable parents, how come you offered your bodily fluids in the first place?

What a rude post!! :eek:

HampshireH wrote: »

This thread is really interesting. Just out of interest, does the "other parent" not want any involvement in the child? Was in the female who has the child's egg the one used and she the carrier?

If not this surely becomes even more complicated - with a birth mother (legal parent), an egg donor and a sperm donor (being yourself - legal parent possibly). So an egg donor would be free of all responsibility?

It sounds like there's effectively 3 parents, but the lesbian ex-wife/ex-partner might or might not have parental rights now she's no longer in the picture. Not sure. Like you say, it gets horrendously complicated when these new-style families break up.

HoneyNutLoop

Jemima_FuddleCup wrote: »

What a rude post!! :eek:



It sounds like there's effectively 3 parents, but the lesbian ex-wife/ex-partner might or might not have parental rights now she's no longer in the picture. Not sure. Like you say, it gets horrendously complicated when these new-style families break up.

Only when you do things ‘privately’. If they’d used a licensed clinic, it would be no more complicated than any other break up. And the op would have had no further involvement after his donation was given.