Grievance/Sexual Harassment

suki1964

Ellestories wrote: »

Women are silent for years without saying anything to their harasser and I was generally scared of this man so don’t you dare say that I gave him mixed signals. I did once confront him saying I was going to report him for his actions but he said i shouldn’t and threatened me.

Threatened?

Id have reported it right away and got the police involved if threatened


And no not all women are silent for years, most of us nip it in the bud from the word go

Ive a guy in work who is annoying me right now. I asked him very politely to cover his mouth when coughing, so he thought it funny to walk up and cough in my face ( faked cough) I thought it funnier when I turned around and jabbed my elbow hard in his ribs

Ilona

Ellestories wrote: »

Women are silent for years without saying anything to their harasser and I was generally scared of this man so don’t you dare say that I gave him mixed signals. I did once confront him saying I was going to report him for his actions but he said i shouldn’t and threatened me.

I didn't say you gave him mixed signals. I didn't see any threats in your opening post, or any other account you recalled about the incidents.

He was just a letch making snide remarks because he knew you wouldn't like it. That's a power thing, laughing at you for being scared.

You have let this fester inside you for far too long. The next time you see him do as I said, you will feel a lot better for it. Do it in front of people, loudly, and mean it.

ilona

gomer

Ellestories wrote: »

Women are silent for years without saying anything to their harasser and I was generally scared of this man so don’t you dare say that I gave him mixed signals. I did once confront him saying I was going to report him for his actions but he said i shouldn’t and threatened me.

Elle, right up until your last post last night I actually thought we were taking to a 16/17 year old school leaver. You really do come across as being incredibly naive.

Not reporting it for nearly a year & then you wonder why he thought you didn't have too much of a problem with his behaviour?

This is what I mean about mixed messages.

I have one word for you - Assertiveness.

Comms69

Ellestories wrote: »

Women are silent for years without saying anything to their harasser and I was generally scared of this man so don’t you dare say that I gave him mixed signals. I did once confront him saying I was going to report him for his actions but he said i shouldn’t and threatened me.

Why is it page 3 of the thread before you now mention threats.

Kynthia

Ellestories wrote: »

I don’t feel that I should post things on this thread anymore due to the language towards me, saying I’m deluded, that I am sending mixed messages and attention seeking. That I’m making up stories, I’m actually hurt by the things people have said and I’m rather insulted. I do stand up for myself but in this case, it took me eleven months to even say anything yet alone admit myself that I was sexually harassed by this man. I came on here for advice and not to be insulted.
At the end of the day, I’m a twenty eight year old woman who was sexually harassed by thirty eight year old male manager who thought it was ok to talk to me that way. When I first met him I thought he was a complete gentleman until one night he opened his mouth and asked me if I had boyfriend.

I agree that posting here isn't helpful to you and probably very upsetting. Sexual harassment can be subtle, incidences difficult to describe and not easy to get people to believe you leading to self-doubt. So having everything you say picked apart as you say is hurtful and worsening the doubt.

I hope you find a more suitable environment to get support and have your questions answered.