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Grievance/Sexual Harassment
Comments
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I'll ask again.
Without the context and details I can't say.
Such as:
How many people would be there? Was it a 10 people in a small restaurant or 2000 people in a barn. How likely was it that their paths would cross?
How long ago was the grievance raised. What has the managers behaviour been like (in the office) since it was raised?
How important a social event is the staff party to the OP?
How important is it to the OP not to let the manager "win" by effectively excluding her from work events (by turning up himself).
etc.0 -
But you see what I mean though? It seems I'll advised to me.
There are two sides to it. On the one hand she had every right to attend the party and feel safe there, on the other given how it worked out it may not have been the best decision to go. I do think it's not a great situation where someone has to hide from social events because of harassment, but also there's the reality of the situation/world.
What really should have happened, in my opinion, is the employer should have taken the manager aside and told him not to come to the party. If I had someone on my staff found guilty of sexual harassment, I would think it wise not to let them near work social events, especially ones attended by the accuser.0 -
There are two sides to it. On the one hand she had every right to attend the party and feel safe there, on the other given how it worked out it may not have been the best decision to go. I do think it's not a great situation where someone has to hide from social events because of harassment, but also there's the reality of the situation/world.
What really should have happened, in my opinion, is the employer should have taken the manager aside and told him not to come to the party. If I had someone on my staff found guilty of sexual harassment, I would think it wise not to let them near work social events, especially ones attended by the accuser.
Unless I missed it, the manager wasn't found guilty of anything.0 -
Unless I missed it, the manager wasn't found guilty of anything.
Maybe 'guilty' is the wrong word, but there was a complaint and it was upheld. In that situation I would probably be asking the manager to sit out social occasions, that being both in his own interest and the companies.
I know in a similar situation where someone was told to stop using the work bar after work.0 -
Sure, but that's the employers decision to makeMaybe 'guilty' is the wrong word, but there was a complaint and it was upheld. - except the OP wont elaborate on what was actually the outcome. In that situation I would probably be asking the manager to sit out social occasions, that being both in his own interest and the companies. - potentially yes, but the employer didn't do that. So the onus was on the OP to then make a decision. It might be that the employer values the manager more than the OP
I know in a similar situation where someone was told to stop using the work bar after work.0 -
I get that now, I'm more confused at what happened afterwards. I don't understand why having put in a grievance of this nature you would want to be anywhere near the person outside of work. Not even a works do.
Why should someone who has been sexually harassed have to give up their social life?
The works do was clearly attended by far more people than just the OP and her manager. The OP has described some of the others as her friends.
Why should she have to miss out on sharing time with her friends at the Christmas do, just because her manager was also going to be there?
On the one hand you have Comms basically saying that those who are sexually harassed should learn to stick up for themselves and get on with it (though I would say l that the real way forward would be for those who do the harassing to stop it).
On the other hand we have you, saying that someone who has been sexually harassed should cut back on their social life, stay at home and out of the way (rather than getting on with it), and if they do dare to have a social life, you'll insinuate that they must be inventing the sexual harasment.
As someone else has noted, no wonder people hesitate to report sexual harassment. There are so many myths and ridiculous expectations about what a victim should and shouldn't do.What would Buzz do?
I used to be Snow White - but I drifted.0 -
Why should someone who has been sexually harassed have to give up their social life?
The works do was clearly attended by far more people than just the OP and her manager. The OP has described some of the others as her friends.
Why should she have to miss out on sharing time with her friends at the Christmas do, just because her manager was also going to be there?
On the one hand you have Comms basically saying that those who are sexually harassed should learn to stick up for themselves and get on with it (though I would say l that the real way forward would be for those who do the harassing to stop it).
On the other hand we have you, saying that someone who has been sexually harassed should cut back on their social life, stay at home and out of the way (rather than getting on with it), and if they do dare to have a social life, you'll insinuate that they must be inventing the sexual harasment.
As someone else has noted, no wonder people hesitate to report sexual harassment. There are so many myths and ridiculous expectations about what a victim should and shouldn't do.
There are bad people in the world. Being a victim of this kind of thing happens; but staying a victim shouldn’t.
Standing up for yourself and ensuring your own safety is a fundamental part of being an adult.0
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