I am so hurt and confused

katiekittykat

ManofLeisure wrote: »

Might sound harsh Katie, but it's probably time to move forward with your life. This chap doesn't deserve you, but in time, you will find someone who does.

Not harsh I appreciate you being honest

Comms69

katiekittykat wrote: »

We discussed very early on, I had a really bad health condition which means I have been sterilized.

We discussed this in depth at the time and we both agreed we didn't want children.

I did however if we got years down the line and he changed his mind I would re consider for him

I think this could be something that's on his mind.


As others have said 30 is an interesting age and many men do start to think about kids.


Certainly if you do both agree to talk, maybe consider asking him about this

katiekittykat

Comms69 wrote: »

I think this could be something that's on his mind.


As others have said 30 is an interesting age and many men do start to think about kids.


Certainly if you do both agree to talk, maybe consider asking him about this

It could be I guess, you would think he would just say so though

We talked for ages at the time, and I said if he changed his mind I would.

But I guess you never know

He also thought I was unhappy which is odd as I wasn't

moneyistooshorttomention

katiekittykat wrote: »

Thank you everyone for all the time you have taken to reply

In the meantime he is still using my Netflix/Now TV/Amazon Prime

Also he hasn't told people we have split up at work (he works for my customer long story) and is still telling them all stories of what we got up to at the weekend.

It is all very odd

That sentence of yours re he hasn't told people at work about this and is telling lies of what happened at the weekend with you would give me distinct pause for thought. That being - as to whether I would really want a man that was going round telling lies like that and I would wonder what other lies he might tell me in the future if we did get back together again.

Personally - I've never been felt quite the same again about anyone I was having any sort of relationship with (whether friend, boyfriend or whatever-else) if I found they were the sort of person that makes a habit of telling lies.

Do you really want a relationship anyway with someone who does?

katiekittykat

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

That sentence of yours re he hasn't told people at work about this and is telling lies of what happened at the weekend with you would give me distinct pause for thought. That being - as to whether I would really want a man that was going round telling lies like that and I would wonder what other lies he might tell me in the future if we did get back together again.

Personally - I've never been felt quite the same again about anyone I was having any sort of relationship with (whether friend, boyfriend or whatever-else) if I found they were the sort of person that makes a habit of telling lies.

Do you really want a relationship anyway with someone who does?

They weren't lies I did do as he said I had done, he just didn't mention we had split up

I do see what you mean though

gabriel1980

"He said he knows I am the best thing to ever happen to me"
Did you mean the he knows he is the best thing to ever happen to him, because otherwise he sounds like a complete narcissist.

Also, it does sound like there is someone else he is interested in.

katiekittykat

gabriel1980 wrote: »

"He said he knows I am the best thing to ever happen to me"
Did you mean the he knows he is the best thing to ever happen to him, because otherwise he sounds like a complete narcissist.

Also, it does sound like there is someone else he is interested in.

No he said I am the best thing that has ever happened to him

If there was someone else - why the need on the break beforehand?

I am in contact with his friends girlfriends as we became friends, and their boyfriends said they had asked him and that he said no

Who knows though I guess

moneyistooshorttomention

Right now -- and on the off chance he hasnt been lying about the weekend then etc etc..

....and you need to hand back his key/tell him you've stopped his access to your Netflix etc and generally make it plain with your attitude that "Okay - since it's over - then I'm doing the admin. and terminating joint arrangement type stuff".

Chances are he will just accept it and "That's that. Finito".

IF he really does want you he will be back - within just a few weeks. My mother "did the admin/Finito" bit with my father when they were courting. She found out that there was another girlfriend and my father was given his marching orders and told firmly "Don't reappear unless you've finished with her". He was back within weeks (if not days) having done just that.

But - from the (rather short) length of time their courtship took - from meeting to marrying - he didn't hang around and draw things out. Because he really wanted her - he was back quicksharp/other girlfriend off the scene.

So "do that admin./finito" thing and chances are that's that. In your own head you could try mentally giving him precisely a couple of weeks (4 at the absolute outside) and, if he doesn't reappear in that time - that's that = forget him....end of....

A man who really loves a woman won't stay away for long - and, if he doesnt really love you = are you sure you want him anyway?:cool:

Pollycat

chelseablue wrote: »

30 seems to be a 'funny' age for men

My husband will be 30 in July and he's already saying about how he'll be old after turning 30 and mourning the loss of his 20's

I'm 35 so I must be ancient :rotfl:

Certainly is.


My OH went out and came back with a poodle perm - think Kevin Keegan. :rotfl:


And started an affair with a girl almost half his age. :eek:

katiekittykat

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Right now -- and on the off chance he hasnt been lying about the weekend then etc etc..

....and you need to hand back his key/tell him you've stopped his access to your Netflix etc and generally make it plain with your attitude that "Okay - since it's over - then I'm doing the admin. and terminating joint arrangement type stuff".

Chances are he will just accept it and "That's that. Finito".

IF he really does want you he will be back - within just a few weeks. My mother "did the admin/Finito" bit with my father when they were courting. She found out that there was another girlfriend and my father was given his marching orders and told firmly "Don't reappear unless you've finished with her". He was back within weeks (if not days) having done just that.

But - from the (rather short) length of time their courtship took - from meeting to marrying - he didn't hang around and draw things out. Because he really wanted her - he was back quicksharp/other girlfriend off the scene.

So "do that admin./finito" thing and chances are that's that. In your own head you could try mentally giving him precisely a couple of weeks (4 at the absolute outside) and, if he doesn't reappear in that time - that's that = forget him....end of....

A man who really loves a woman won't stay away for long - and, if he doesnt really love you = are you sure you want him anyway?:cool:

Thank you so much for this, a really good idea.

It has been just under two weeks at the mo (2 weeks on sat)

Do I tell him I am giving key back, stopping Netflix etc or just do it?