I am so hurt and confused

z1a

Maybe the single friend is more than a friend.

dawyldthing

I wouldn’t take it personally. Sounds like he’s got cold feet, saw his single friends way of life and decided he prefers that for a while.

Reminds me of a story I read other day of a bloke with his gf while giving birth and he just sat on the end of the bed then when lil one was here pulled the chair out and went to sleep. A lot of men are really egocentric. It’s all about them.

I’d also give him an ultimatum- hive it a few weeks then that’s that or he’ll think your desperate and he can have his cake and eat it, and you are worth far far more than that love

gilett

It does sound like he is lacking the courage to just tell you straight. Some men find it easier to beat around the Bush and be all vague rather than telling you straight.

Pollycat

z1a wrote: »

Maybe the single friend is more than a friend.

My thoughts too.

OP - if he no longer wants to be with you, there is (probably) nothing you can do to change his mind.

SandraX

katiekittykat wrote: »

Thanks all.

I really hope it is just cold feet.

I guess would be easier to process in my head if there was a reason cos to me you don't walk away from a 4 year relationship cos you feel a bit distant.

Trust me, he has got someone as no one walks away like that after several years of realationship. I may sound harsh and no evidence ATM, but sadly, you will get the bigger picture.
Your may want to try this and it's your choice - tell him in a weeks time that you are sorry but you have fallen head or heals for someone (no name) as you felt lonely and this stranger caught your eye, got chatting and met a few times. I bet you he will wish you well and then soon declare he has found someone.

looks as though he does not want to hurt you but he is just doing that.

I hope it all works out for you and that I'm proven wrong.
x

SandraX

z1a wrote: »

Maybe the single friend is more than a friend.

Exactly.:(

unholyangel

katiekittykat wrote: »

Deffo nobody else on the scene

I am giving him space not contacted him since. I really hope he comes round.

I guess it would just be a lot easier if I had some answers/proper reason why

Have you told him that?

Tbh it may never be resolved - talking it through and explaining your position can give the other person closure but often they care less about the other person having closure than they do about themselves not having to deal with any type of confrontation or questions. Thats why they give you a flimsy excuse in the first place. They may convince themselves its to spare your feelings but what they really mean is its to spare them from having to deal with those feelings.

If he's not being honest with you after 4 years together, is he really the kind of partner you'd want anyway? Heck theres a good chance he's not being honest with himself.

A family member of mine was in a good loving relationship. He was really good to her. Yet when she met someone she was interested in, she then started picking holes in their relationship. The best complaint she could come up with when questioned was that he would come in from work, lift a magazine off the sofa (so he could sit down) and put it on the floor. She was basically inventing reasons to try and validate what she had already decided she wanted - to end it.

I think theres even a meme parody of it - that to start off they tell themselves the next big issue, they'll end it. But months later, no big issue has come up so they lower their standards....until eventually they end up ending it because of the way they fold their clothes or some other exaggerated silly issue.

katiekittykat

Pollycat wrote: »

My thoughts too.

OP - if he no longer wants to be with you, there is (probably) nothing you can do to change his mind.

The single friend is male

An option I haven't thought of tbf

katiekittykat

z1a wrote: »

Maybe the single friend is more than a friend.

They a male, but I guess you never know

Pollycat

katiekittykat wrote: »

The single friend is male

An option I haven't thought of tbf

Ah.
Additional information.



Maybe this friend is relevant to the way your ex feels about you.

Maybe he isn't.