Prenup stay at home mum

izoomzoom

£5.00 per hour childcare costs, 50% you pay as you are a parent:

£2.50x24hx7dx52w = £21840 your worth per year.

Make sure he knows what you are worth!

Comms69

izoomzoom wrote: »

£5.00 per hour childcare costs, 50% you pay as you are a parent:

£2.50x24hx7dx52w = £21840 your worth per year.

Make sure he knows what you are worth!

That's just silly.

BucksLady

Many people (including myself) marry people whose financial assets are greater. If my husband had suggested a pre-nup, the alarm bells would have been ringing. Surely, if someone loves another person with their heart, a pre-nup doesn't figure at all. Or perhaps I'm just an old romantic....

74jax

izoomzoom wrote: »

£5.00 per hour childcare costs, 50% you pay as you are a parent:

£2.50x24hx7dx52w = £21840 your worth per year.

Make sure he knows what you are worth!

That's implying he doesn't play any role in childcare either?

74jax

BucksLady wrote: »

Many people (including myself) marry people whose financial assets are greater. If my husband had suggested a pre-nup, the alarm bells would have been ringing. Surely, if someone loves another person with their heart, a pre-nup doesn't figure at all. Or perhaps I'm just an old romantic....

When I got married the first time I didn't go into it expecting it to end how it did.... When I went in to my 2nd - this - marriage I was well aware it could happen again. People divorce, you don't expect it to be you, but just sometimes it is....

CM66

My brothers wife has recently walked out on him, and from the way she is acting i don't blame these men from protecting themselves financially as they are the ones that end up getting screwed over!

Red-Squirrel_2

CM66 wrote: »

My brothers wife has recently walked out on him, and from the way she is acting i don't blame these men from protecting themselves financially as they are the ones that end up getting screwed over!

Right, because no woman with children ever got screwed over by her husband!!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Mr_Costcutter

74jax wrote: »

When I got married the first time I didn't go into it expecting it to end how it did.... When I went in to my 2nd - this - marriage I was well aware it could happen again. People divorce, you don't expect it to be you, but just sometimes it is....

That may be the case, but not everyone who divorces then presents a pre nuptial agreement. My daughter married a very wealthy chap who had been divorced and he most certainly didn't.

duchy

CM66 wrote: »

My brothers wife has recently walked out on him, and from the way she is acting i don't blame these men from protecting themselves financially as they are the ones that end up getting screwed over!

You feel the proposal in the prenup doesn't screw the OP over ?
I don't however think it's a gender issue, plenty of couples where the woman has the greater assets end up with them getting the rough end of the deal when a marriage goes south too.

If a parent (of either gender) stays home or limits their career options so the other partner can work extensive hours, travels etc to climb in their career then they should not be disadvantaged if the partnership subsequently ends. Realistically in most families with young children it isn't practical to have two high flying career focused parents without a very strong support system in place whether family or paid for.

There is a financial value to be put on the contribution made by the parent bringing in less or even no income.

My ex husband didn't really understand it until we split up. I was happy to resume my career (I'd dropped hours and status but continued to work family friendly hours) if we went for 50/50 care , however he was shocked when I pointed out that this meant I wouldn't be able to pick up "his" days when he had to travel for work if I had my own fulltime hours and career to handle too. For the first time he had a full understanding of just how much juggling supporting his career impacted on me even when working less than fulltime.

DigForVictory

Were I the OP I'd be feeling very backed into a corner & minded to come out snarling. Something which I might have hoped to put behind me.

If I can refrain from beaning my child's father with a heavy frying pan for long enough (he Has made a Will, yes? You and child are provided for? Regardless of marital status? [IF ANY ="N", STOP]) then a discussion is indicated. Just signing is emphatically not. While my first instincts cornered are bad, if I can be coaxed into sitting eating & drinking then why this seems like a good idea, & why now (has he got his eye on something in the Black Friday Sales for pity's sake?).

You may have been coached in TBRAN by your midwife - is this Time critical? What are the Benefits? And the Risks? The Alternatives? & what if we do Nothing? May help you keep breathing & away from the frying pan/assorted blunt instruments with which the home is dotted (kitchen best for weaponry but a sidetable can still record your displeasure pretty clearly).

Whatever you agree to, include a review date. It may be that if you clock up three years matrimony, he'll soften. Or 30 & you remain flinty that no that's His As Agreed. Right now the situation is not looking balanced, equitable, or reasonable.

Do please come back, OP, and tell us how things are going? If the wedding is still going ahead? If he's realised this is not how he wishes the mother of his child to be treated? If he's been told that this is not the decade to come over all Me Alpha Male & expect to walk away without comment (by someone other than you).