Homophobic gossip ruining my life at work

nicechap

paulharding150 wrote: »

It's not difficult, but it's unusual to only enjoy spending time with just 4 people, most people interact personally and professionally with a far larger number of people. Perhaps that's a difficult concept for you to grasp.

I might be misunderstanding your intentions, but do you think you might be guilty of trying to pigeon hole/ stereotype Comms for his differences to the norm? Is it so different from what you appear to be complaining about that others do? Just rather than it being gay/ straight I suspect its a introvert/ extrovert scale.

paulharding150

nicechap wrote: »

I might be misunderstanding your intentions, but do you think you might be guilty of trying to pigeon hole/ stereotype Comms for his differences to the norm? Is it so different from what you appear to be complaining about that others do? Just rather than it being gay/ straight I suspect its a introvert/ extrovert scale.

No. I'm taking issue with Comms saying that coming is just a conversation and that once you've done it once you can do it a thousand times.

Comms69

paulharding150 wrote: »

Telling a new person (neighbour, boss, collegue, random etc) is coming out again, because you don't know what the reaction is going to be.

https://www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/media-centre/media-statement/stonewall-reveals-coming-out-work-still-problem

Sure you could ignore the question or lie, but why should you?

Here's the thing with the headline statements and stonewall in general (which I think is an abysmal charity):


More than a third of LGBT staff (35 per cent) have hidden that they are LGBT at work for fear of discrimination. - So not because of actual discrimination. Just their own personal feelings of what might happen.

One in ten black, Asian and minority ethnic LGBT employees (10 per cent) have been physically attacked by customers or colleagues in the last year. - So not because they were LGBT or BME, just that 1 in 10 people have been attacked? The whole poll had just over 3,000 responses. Given the demographic breakdown is approx. 13% as BME nationally, that's 39 people. 39 people, who bothered to answer this survey. Surveys typically answered by people who have negative experiences... Sorry but that's an astoundingly small figure

Nearly two in five bi people (38 per cent) aren’t out to anyone at work. - But provides no context as to why.



Here's some of the testimonials:


‘My employer is generally very supportive but doesn’t have a specific LGBT discrimination section in their policies and procedures should discrimination occur. So, if discrimination or harassment does occur – and it does – then they don’t effectively handle things and the LGBT person is blamed for causing problems and being over sensitive.’ – Mollie, 51 (Yorkshire and the Humber) - So the employer treats everyone the same and doesn't elevate LGBT issues above say age, gender, maternity, race etc. what a bunch of.... Maybe the LGBT person was causing problems, there's no context.




‘I have not come out to anyone where I currently live or work. I would not feel comfortable or safe coming out to any of my colleagues and have felt reluctant to make friends where I live now in case they find out about my trans history.’ - Tom, 42 (East Midlands) - So it's the subjective feelings of an individual, not the actions of his neighbours or colleagues...




‘While serving a customer at work I corrected them on pronouns and they laughed in my face and asked me if I had a penis and told me I was wrong. My supervisor witnessed the whole thing and told me not to be so dramatic about it.’ - Ross, 23 (Scotland) - I agree. Don't correct customers on their speech. You don't get to dictate what language someone else uses.




‘My office is using the word ‘gay’ as an insult or a slang term. I feel their ignorance regarding bisexual people will be worse. If these particular individuals didn’t work in my office anymore I’d feel comfortable being out in the workplace.’ – Megan, 34 (Wales) - And you've raised this with management? Again no context.

gomer

Malthusian wrote: »

Answering these questions is not coming out as gay. It is just answering extremely commonplace small talk questions about your life. Hardly anybody cares about which gender the people involved happen to be.

That's the problem though. Most of us work in environments where we are surrounded by colleagues from countries where it is still illegal or culturally unacceptable, so a considerable amount do care because it disgusts them so much.

I work in security and almost all of my colleagues are African men. How well do you think they would take it if I revealed I was gay? Personally it's not a risk I'd take so I keep quiet.

Comms69

paulharding150 wrote: »

No. I'm taking issue with Comms saying that coming is just a conversation and that once you've done it once you can do it a thousand times.

I really am not sure if it's deliberate or not, but you clearly aren't understanding what I'm saying.


I'm telling you to take ownership of your decisions. (and no that's not your sexual identity)

Comms69

Samsung_Note2 wrote: »

Oh yes the word Gay means homosexual people doesnt it....well no its a Term for being Happy...can the person who stole the word Gay please return it to the rightful owner please.:D


Ok serious question...what if you like Lady Boys,they look like a Girl but have man bits...does that mean your Gay or part Gay or simply Greedy.

I mean as in an Alan Partridge kind of way....:beer:

See HendrikSavoo youve got everyone talking about Gays....who would have thought it...lol

Given I generally abhor labels I'd just say you're an individual who has a type.


But I'm sure someone more 'woke' than me will provide the correct position

gomer

Comms69 wrote: »

Given I generally abhor labels I'd just say you're an individual who has a type.


But I'm sure someone more 'woke' than me will provide the correct position

I don't think we really want to be taking about 'correct positions' on a thread like this :eek: