Homophobic gossip ruining my life at work

Samsung_Note2

kwame41 wrote: »

I dont understand the description of being 'outed'. Your sexuality doesnt have any bearing on your ability to do your job or anything else.

I have never been 'outed' as a heterosexual and dont expect to be any time soon as though its even newsworthy.

If your being called names or being bullied because of it thats different you should complain to your superiors. Otherwise get on with your life.

Depends..i doubt the US Marine who killed the trans gender prostitute by stamping on her neck while trying to drown her in a toilet bowl would agree.

Apparently he took offence at her being a man..or at least having man bits...finding out after the deed was done.:eek:

Ok ok so thats not really the same but if had put his macho pride aside and said "well thats a new experience i"ll never forget" and just moved on then she/he would be alive and he wouldn't have gone to prison.

Apparently the yanks cant handle the booze and happens quiet a lot where they go to bed with a woman and wake up with a geezer.:rotfl:

kwame41

paulharding150 wrote: »

Have you ever been discriminated against, made fun of, or felt uncomfortable about being heterosexual? If not then you don't understand what it means to come out*?


*And do remember people don't just come out as Gay/Bi once, they do it time and time again.

People are treated badly by other people every day sadly. The societal shift on the whole over the last thiry years has been largely positive. Laws have been passed to protect personal choice on many levels. Unfortunately we all have to deal with ignorance, bigotry & discrimination of many kinds.


Sorry, but none of my friends need to come out to me ever. Im not interested. It's not illegal anymore to be gay.

charlotte1994

Being outed is horrible, I am not out to the people at work. I just know that there would be comments and such if it was revealed. I would just speak to the person who outed you and really drill it in that it wasn't their place to gossip like that. I think at this point all you can do is own it. It's awful that they spread rumours to people who aren't even in your department. I would really hammer in that you don't like personal information being spread around like that

Comms69

paulharding150 wrote: »

Have you ever been discriminated against, made fun of, or felt uncomfortable about being heterosexual? If not then you don't understand what it means to come out*? - those two things are not remotely related. 'Coming out' is typically telling your family or friends. You don't 'come out' at work. If you let what others think influence your feelings, then you should look into that.

*And do remember people don't just come out as Gay/Bi once, they do it time and time again.

No they don't. Sorry correcting someone e.g.


"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Actually I'm gay."


Isn't coming out, it's called having a conversation.

Comms69

charlotte1994 wrote: »

Being outed is horrible, I am not out to the people at work. I just know that there would be comments and such if it was revealed. I would just speak to the person who outed you and really drill it in that it wasn't their place to gossip like that. I think at this point all you can do is own it. It's awful that they spread rumours to people who aren't even in your department. I would really hammer in that you don't like personal information being spread around like that

If you want to keep your private life private (as we all should as much as possible), don't go telling people you barely know...

NeilCr

kwame41 wrote: »

Sorry, but none of my friends need to come out to me ever. Im not interested. It's not illegal anymore to be gay.

Nor do any of my friends need to come out to me. However, if they do then I'd be honoured that they'd chosen to open up to me and trust me with something incredibly personal to them. I know from my own experience that being able to talk to someone who is understanding and listens about things that are deep in me can be very therapeutic.

I am interested. Not in a nosey way but in how I can support and help them, if needed. I wouldn't want to be the sort of friend who someone wouldn't approach because "I am not interested"

kwame41

NeilCr wrote: »

Nor do any of my friends need to come out to me. However, if they do then I'd be honoured that they'd chosen to open up to me and trust me with something incredibly personal to them. I know from my own experience that being able to talk to someone who is understanding and listens about things that are deep in me can be very therapeutic.

I am interested. Not in a nosey way but in how I can support and help them, if needed. I wouldn't want to be the sort of friend who someone wouldn't approach because "I am not interested"

Youve taken my words out of context. I'm 'not interested' because it makes no difference to my friendship to that person.

Of course I would listen and try and support / help as any friend would.

paulharding150

Comms69 wrote: »

No they don't. Sorry correcting someone e.g.


"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Actually I'm gay."


Isn't coming out, it's called having a conversation.

If only life were that simple. Gay people still face discrimination and prejudice. Until they don't it's not just a conversation.

Comms69

paulharding150 wrote: »

If only life were that simple. Gay people still face discrimination and prejudice. Until they don't it's not just a conversation.

Sorry but no. Everyone faces discrimination.


You will never eradicate prejudice, nor should you try to in the current format. Making everything illegal is simply forcing this abhorrent behaviour to be hidden below the surface.

paulharding150

Sorry I'm not disputing the fact that people face discrimination, I'm disputing your claim that coming out is "just a conversation" and that gay people face discrimination by coming out. It's not something that people should feel the need to hide. It's a fairly major part of life.

As though it's the same as saying "BTW I take sugar in my coffee, just so you know for the future."