Trans Female moving to Yorkshire, where should I move to ? Nervous/Worried!

Bethenny555

Lilymunster wrote: »

Hi Bethenny,

I don’t normally comment on sites, it annoys me when people kick off over the smallest comments.. I saw your post and felt I needed to say hello..

I moved a few months ago from a city to Otley .. as beautiful as it is I have found the move to be incredibly difficult.. finding myself more lonely and cut off then I have ever been ..

I longed to live in the country away from city life .. I guess I was more of a city girl then I realised ..

Just think things through before you make the move .. I did it on a wim .. I had 4 weeks and before I knew it I was moving .. I wish I had done more research and taken more time

It’s so much harder to go back if you don’t like it .. I now find myself stuck

I hope you find what your looking for .. I wish you every happiness
Xx

Thank you for your comment Lily, you offer some great words of advice and its much appreciated.

I ended up falling in love with a little rural cottage today in Great Ouseburn, its perfect inside and out and ticks so many boxes for me, like you, I am seriously worried/concerned about the lack of human contact and sociability factor...

However like other posters have said, I think you have to get out to the world as the world won't come to you...

Therefore I plan on getting to a yoga class once a week as a start and then see what other adventures I can go on! I also like to take my dog walking and to a doggy day care which could open the possibility of meeting people...maybe get a puppy if your circumstances allow and you want one. xx

moneyistooshorttomention

Yoga class would be good start.

One thing to be aware of in smaller communities is that they are more heavily reliant on people continuing to run the activities they run. In a city one can just think "So what - they've stopped running activity x. There's a lot of other people running similar things/other things. One down - 100 to go" sort of attitude. It doesn't work quite like that in smaller places.....

The other thing is city people are used to weekly activities being weekly - ie every week and maybe only one or two weeks not happening during the year. In a smaller place - well I know where I'm living now and it's centred much more round families/much less on single people and so you get all these women very much focused on "being in a family" and the second it gets to school holidays it's "Where were they? Gone....." and many of them won't re-emerge to the activity until the school holiday is over. That tends to mean the activity itself often doesn't happen during school holidays - because of all those missing female participants.

You do need to check out whether there are a lot of single people in the area or whether it's a case of "many women vanishing then" and quite a few younger women seem to centre their lives round their husbands. You even find in jobs that there is quite a tendency for the women to revolve their lives around their husbands - yep it's more old-fashioned. If you're used to "I'm doing x tonight dear and 'what are you doing?" and many couples leading Lives Of Their Own - then that comes as a distinct surprise....

Bethenny555

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Yoga class would be good start.

One thing to be aware of in smaller communities is that they are more heavily reliant on people continuing to run the activities they run. In a city one can just think "So what - they've stopped running activity x. There's a lot of other people running similar things/other things. One down - 100 to go" sort of attitude. It doesn't work quite like that in smaller places.....

The other thing is city people are used to weekly activities being weekly - ie every week and maybe only one or two weeks not happening during the year. In a smaller place - well I know where I'm living now and it's centred much more round families/much less on single people and so you get all these women very much focused on "being in a family" and the second it gets to school holidays it's "Where were they? Gone....." and many of them won't re-emerge to the activity until the school holiday is over. That tends to mean the activity itself often doesn't happen during school holidays - because of all those missing female participants.

You do need to check out whether there are a lot of single people in the area or whether it's a case of "many women vanishing then" and quite a few younger women seem to centre their lives round their husbands. You even find in jobs that there is quite a tendency for the women to revolve their lives around their husbands - yep it's more old-fashioned. If you're used to "I'm doing x tonight dear and 'what are you doing?" and many couples leading Lives Of Their Own - then that comes as a distinct surprise....

Thank you for your comments and interesting to hear how things can be different!

God, I hope I don't ever turn into someone who revolves my life around my husband :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

silverwhistle

By and large things are getting better, although I can't comment too much on Yorkshire. The other week in the south of England I was playing women's football and there were three trans players on the same pitch!


A friend who is trans moved from Harrogate to a cheaper dales village (hamlet really) and has had no specific problems other than being an incomer. Being younger you may have issues that don't bother older women with the invisibility cloak. :-)



I personally moved for some years to teach English in a foreign country, and had no problems: had a great time in fact. It was rather a surprise to my GP there when I explained why I needed stronger HRT patches! So looking on the move for the interesting experience it will be and you'll be fine anywhere. Some detailed suggestions here so hope you fall on your feet.

Bethenny555

silverwhistle wrote: »

By and large things are getting better, although I can't comment too much on Yorkshire. The other week in the south of England I was playing women's football and there were three trans players on the same pitch!


A friend who is trans moved from Harrogate to a cheaper dales village (hamlet really) and has had no specific problems other than being an incomer. Being younger you may have issues that don't bother older women with the invisibility cloak. :-)



I personally moved for some years to teach English in a foreign country, and had no problems: had a great time in fact. It was rather a surprise to my GP there when I explained why I needed stronger HRT patches! So looking on the move for the interesting experience it will be and you'll be fine anywhere. Some detailed suggestions here so hope you fall on your feet.

Thank you for your comments and great to hear about your experiences in the funny old world we live in!

I feel much better after reading various comments from here... I plan on putting an application in for one of the properties I visited yesterday and I am excited for this new chapter x :j

WeAreGhosts

silverwhistle wrote: »

has had no specific problems other than being an incomer..

Urgh, yes, that gets dull and boring very quickly. There will always be those who bang on about newbies/incomers infiltrating everything or having an opinion they're not allowed to have etc ...
I don't know why they can't understand that at one point everyone was an incomer (probably their parents or grandparents), and if the town did not have new people in it, well, then they'd all be inbreds and walking around with two heads ...;)