Help please - my husband not paying the mortgage

JackeeBoy

yulita11 wrote: »

Thank you all for your time, and advice!

1. Apparently I cannot evict him so I was told by my solicitor. I find it very hard to comprehend. He's changed the locks, and I cannot even get to the property. And yet I am still to pay the mortgage and he gets to live for free... I cannot understand how it works. So the bank can take it away by repossession but I can't?

I was thinking of ringing up the mortgage company and explaining them a situation saying I can pay let's say enough to cover the interest each month but not the capital repayments. Let's see what they say, technically they are going to say "No" because I'm on fixed deal.

2. I strongly believe that I have to reward my children for their great work, and if it coincides with Christmas so be it. I leave home at 7am, and I come back at 7pm at the very best, every day. I frequently work on the weekends too. So my son cannot get a part-time job and I pay him a fraction what it'd cost me in childminding fees. Primary school does not allow the kids to walk home on their own until the age of 11. With my ex being violent and threatening, I wouldn't want her to walk oh her own anyway!

They have to be rewarded for their academical achievements too. Not getting them a presents that they were hoping for all year and actually worked hard for them is simply not fair. What message am I going to be sending them? That it doesn't matter how hard you work, someone can still ruin your dreams and your lifestyle? I simply can't do that to my children. They know about our financial circumstances and they understand but I can still sense the potential disappointment. I'm afraid that their motivation and desire to do well in life will be affected by real life example they are witnessing right now.


Surely, there must be a way out. Obviously the ultimate one will be a divorce financial settlement but that's months (or even years?) away... My solicitor has already sent him a proposal, no answer. I feel so stuck. I worked so hard all these years to get where I am, and now it can all be ruined by his actions.

You remind me of a friend that missed their mortgage payments in order to buy presents for their grandchildren and take them out places because their bum of a father would not do so. Now that person is losing their house and can't help their grandchildren with more practical things like a car, house deposit, university fees or even taking them out places. They do have a Nintendo Switch though.

Sort yourself out now and it will be better for them in the long run. I am pretty sure they would rather inherit or buy the flat from you at a discounted rate 5-10 years down the line than having the latest video game for Christmas.

Comms69

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Fine: it is a good idea to meet several different solicitors to decide which one to use. However, you do need to engage one of them: what actually happens in your case will depend on fine detail that they will not be able to consider during an initial meeting.

What a solicitor says during an initial meeting may well be very different from what she says after reading relevant documents; asking some questions to draw out details that perhaps you do not realise are important; and maybe going away to research some points of law. One hopes that after all that she will tell you something that accurately reflects what a court would decide.





Since you are a joint owner of the flat he cannot deny you entrance. I appreciate that locksmiths ask for proof of residence before letting you in, but you would be able to get a court order to make this possible. Whether or not that is a good idea would be another question





Yes, the court would take account of all the factors you mention. The starting point for determining how to split finances is 50-50, then they adjust it taking into account all sorts of factors, with the welfare and support of the children being a major consideration. You really do need a solicitor for this.


You mention that there have been issues of abuse, and that he gave an Undertaking and then broke it. Domestic violence is one of the very rare situations where legal aid becomes available for divorce cases. This is a question you need to put directly to the solicitor of your choice: I think there is a good chance that at least part of your legal bill would be covered, and that could make a huge difference.

Sorry but again. This is a let property and the OP is a landlord. So absolutely she can be denied entry, and the protection from eviction act carries significant penalties (both criminal and civil) for landlords who run roughshod over the law.

Voyager2002

Comms69 wrote: »

Sorry but again. This is a let property and the OP is a landlord. So absolutely she can be denied entry, and the protection from eviction act carries significant penalties (both criminal and civil) for landlords who run roughshod over the law.

Not clear, since she said there is no tenancy agreement. There are procedures to evict a tenant who does not pay rent (assuming that the BIL is in fact a tenant).

Comms69

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Not clear, since she said there is no tenancy agreement. There are procedures to evict a tenant who does not pay rent (assuming that the BIL is in fact a tenant).

Not is a tenancy agreement required to create a tenancy.

I agree there are; I said this way back- s.8

yulita11

First of all, thank you all for reading and posting, and spending your time.

And if this topic is going to help someone in the future then it justifies its existence.

I have some good news!

1. I assume that my ex has been to see his solicitor because today he has transferred his outstanding payment so I'm good for another month (and hopefully until this divorce is sorted fingers crossed).

2. The court last Friday - I had two choices:
a) go to full hearing with witnesses etc etc
b) accept another Undertaking for him not to communicate with me at all and not to badmouth me etc
I absolutely have had no intentions to put him in prison for breach of Undertaking; I just want to get on with my life. So I accepted another Undertaking and hopefully this time he understood that I mean "Live and let live".

I sincerely thank you all for your posts, it really does help to hear different views and see the situation under different angle.

Yes, I was desperate to make sure that the children do not miss out this Christmas but the posts made me realise that the long term future means more than a short term solution. By being honest and open with my children I feel that the bond between us is growing stronger. I do NOT teach them to hate their dad, God no, but I teach them to treasure that we have each other.

I think this lesson although a bitter one, was a good lesson in their (and mine!) financial education.

Savvy_Sue

yulita, it is SO good to hear this from you, and I really hope your ex gets his act together and realises that for his children's sake he needs to step up.

It's also great to hear that you re-thought Christmas: sometimes people just don't seem to 'get it' when people are suggesting a re-think, but clearly you have.

BTW did you catch Martin on ITV yesterday? He repeated his 'Christmas isn't about presents' message: it is really powerful. And new series starting from Monday.

Comms69

Sorry just to be absolutely clear; and not to rain on your parade. Breaching an undertaking is a civil contempt of court. Whilst it could result in prison; it is neither guaranteed nor what many would say is common.

But I’m glad things have improved