Help please - my husband not paying the mortgage

-taff

What reason did the solicitor give as to why you coldn't evict him?
Is he on the deeds but not on the mortgage? Do you own it outright, or as joint tenants or as tenants in common?
What about putting it up for sale? Although forcing a sale is going to cost money and if three months of arrears is putting you in a tight spot, then ignore that.

Enterprise_1701C

Is your solicitor mad? Why can't you evict him?

Davesnave

yulita11 wrote: »

They have to be rewarded for their academical achievements too. Not getting them a presents that they were hoping for all year and actually worked hard for them is simply not fair. What message am I going to be sending them?

The message you appear to be sending them is that bribery is necessary in order for children to work hard and achieve in school.

Many of us know that this is not so. Those who've been up against it financially for a long time, know it's not a practical option either.

Mojisola

yulita11 wrote: »

The dilemma is... even with my relatively high wages, I cannot afford to pay two mortgages and support the children, myself and my elderly parents.

But... just because their dad is behaving that way I can't force my children to have Christmas without decent presents.

Step back from the emotional reaction to Christmas and presents - which is more important at the moment - presents for your children or keeping the bills paid?

If, in a few years time, your children realise that by paying for their presents, you got yourself into serious financial difficulties and even put your job at risk, what do you think they would say?

Your children are old enough to be told why money is so tight and should be able to accept that this Christmas may be a bit lean but you can promise to make up for it when your finances are sorted out.

Comms69

yulita11 wrote: »

Thank you all for your time, and advice!

1. Apparently I cannot evict him so I was told by my solicitor. - but did he say why? I find it very hard to comprehend. He's changed the locks, and I cannot even get to the property. - you have no right to be there And yet I am still to pay the mortgage and he gets to live for free... I cannot understand how it works. - so why did you become a landlord? So the bank can take it away by repossession but I can't? - I don't understand why your solicitor said this? I would assume that you have not done something which will make a s.21 invalid. However if he's not paying rent you can evict under s.8.

I was thinking of ringing up the mortgage company and explaining them a situation saying I can pay let's say enough to cover the interest each month but not the capital repayments. Let's see what they say, technically they are going to say "No" because I'm on fixed deal. - Indeed.

2. I strongly believe that I have to reward my children for their great work, and if it coincides with Christmas so be it. I leave home at 7am, and I come back at 7pm at the very best, every day. I frequently work on the weekends too. So my son cannot get a part-time job and I pay him a fraction what it'd cost me in childminding fees. Primary school does not allow the kids to walk home on their own until the age of 11. With my ex being violent and threatening, I wouldn't want her to walk oh her own anyway!

They have to be rewarded for their academical achievements too. Not getting them a presents that they were hoping for all year and actually worked hard for them is simply not fair. What message am I going to be sending them? That it doesn't matter how hard you work, someone can still ruin your dreams and your lifestyle? I simply can't do that to my children. They know about our financial circumstances and they understand but I can still sense the potential disappointment. I'm afraid that their motivation and desire to do well in life will be affected by real life example they are witnessing right now.


Surely, there must be a way out. Obviously the ultimate one will be a divorce financial settlement but that's months (or even years?) away... My solicitor has already sent him a proposal, no answer. I feel so stuck. I worked so hard all these years to get where I am, and now it can all be ruined by his actions.

The issue is that the eviction will still take a period of time and you will then be left with an empty property.


Why do you have two properties?

Junelow

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I hope you find this constructive, because it's definitely intended that way.

Did you watch Martin's Christmas moneysaving special which was on in September, I think? If not, watch out for his show next week, which is a Christmas special. I'm sure he'll repeat his message there: Christmas isn't about spending money.

At 9 and 17, your children are young enough to not know what you're spending, or old enough to understand that this year, there's not a lot of money. Or even both at the same time for the 9 year old! ...

And while I don't agree with running the NRP down, certainly at 17 I don't think it's unreasonable to say "your dad isn't paying the mortgage on the flat he's living in. At the moment that means I've got to pay that, plus the mortgage on this house, plus ... (whatever else you feel appropriate to mention) ... and that means the money is very tight." You're not passing comment on what sort of man that makes him - however much I know I'd like to! - just stating facts.

I don't know what you mean by 'decent' presents. But if you're talking about spending hundreds, rather than pay the mortgage, just give some thought to how you will pay for NEXT Christmas if, as you say, a CCJ will mean you can't do your current job.

Also you don't say what you mean by "support my elderly parents". Are they aware of how stretched you are?

Once Divorced, cant you change your name to your maiden name and get a new passport then the CCJ wont follow you?

Comms69

Junelow wrote: »

Once Divorced, cant you change your name to your maiden name and get a new passport then the CCJ wont follow you?

No. obviously not.


Anyone can change their name at any time. Don't be ridiculous.

LadyDee

Sorry, but "decent" Christmas presents could mean anything. Even a 9 yr-old can understand lack of funds, mine certainly could, and whilst she had a few small things to play with on Christmas day I explained that she would have a better present after Christmas. So it was - a halfprice bicycle in January was worth waiting a few days for and something I couldn't afford to buy before Christmas.

Voyager2002

You say that the house where you live with your children is in your sole name, but say nothing about the ownership of the flat where your ex lives except that it is mortgaged. People have posted about landlord-tenant law, but that would not apply unless the flat is also in your sole name. If you are the sole owner of the flat and there is no tenancy agreement then your ex is probably a squatter, for which there are legal remedies. If (as I suspect) it is in his name as well as yours then you have the right to enter at any time and live there if you choose: if the locks have been changed then the law allows you to force entry. However, you cannot evict your ex from a property that he jointly owns.


One extreme solution might be for you and the children to move back into the flat, and since the police have been involved following violent threats from your ex it might be possible to exclude him from the family home: Women's Aid could advise on this.


Before anyone can give constructive advice you need to clarify ownership of the flat, and whether there is a tenancy agreement in place for it.


On Christmas, a home-made gift offered with love and time can prove satisfying. A child of 17 can certainly understand money problems and would far prefer an inexpensive gift than to be made homeless.

Comms69

The OP says again in my sole name. Suggesting the flat is also.

However regardless he is definitely NOT a squatter.

He is either a tenant or a licensee. ( lack of a tenancy agreement is NOT the rest).

If rent is chargeable, whether paid or not, he is a tenant.

A landlord DOES NOT have the right to force entry. Again this is terrible advice. The OP would risk a criminal conviction by doing this.