GENUINE Money Moral Dilemma!

ska_lover

mattpaint wrote: »

You did, are you having trouble reading? I think MSE has an accessibility page that could help you.

Insane

So as a guest to ask to bride and groom or family- what present they would like, that is OK

But if a bride and groom offer that info without being asked....OOooooo. How very dare they/ they are rude

This kind of thing has been going on since the dawn of weddings, but dressed up as 'wedding registries'....AKA in this day and age would be called a 'gift demand' ...which equates to the same thing

Red-Squirrel_2

ska_lover wrote: »

Insane

So as a guest to ask to bride and groom or family- what present they would like, that is OK

But if a bride and groom offer that info without being asked....OOooooo. How very dare they/ they are rude

This kind of thing has been going on since the dawn of weddings, but dressed up as 'wedding registries'....AKA in this day and age would be called a 'gift demand' ...which equates to the same thing

You didn’t put the wedding list in the invite though did you! You waited to be asked.

ska_lover

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

You didn’t put the wedding list in the invite though did you! You waited to be asked.

An area I am unfamiliar with on a personal level, although I do know gift registries existed - I don't know anyone personally, who has done a gift registry, or registered with a shop for certain presents


I think it is possibly a generational thing - what is the current way to do things or what people feel was better back then


Like it or not, this is the way things are now.


The only think I feel for certain is that bride and grooms aren't intentionally offending anyone - offense is choice really. And any wedding we are invited to, is a close friend or family


What ever you do, getting married, someone will always talk negatively. We were accused of being awkward for not wanting presents. We were told that we wouldn't be 'properly married' if we didn't have a honeymoon (still waiting over a decade later lol) - We were funding it ourselves and asked no one for nothing - yet still the negative comments rolled in - and these were from family


There are a lot of traditions that have come and gone, back in my parents day, the wedding seemed to be expected to be paid for by father of the bride.


I don't know any couple who have wed, that haven't entirely or for the most part, funded it themselves...whilst struggling to save for basic things like a place to live.


If anyone who is planning a wedding is reading this, ELOPE...If we knew then, what we know now, we would have

duchy

Well that's another issue , struggling to afford a wedding ........instead of having a wedding you can afford. This is the selfie style of weddings. All about how it looks.
If you need to calculate if any gift balances out with what that guest "cost you" then you have a very different attitude to marriage to me..
To me a wedding guest's presence is their present.
Two of my friends flew 3000 miles to attend my wedding this year. I didn't expect a gift , they paid airfares and managed busy schedules to be there. That was gift enough for us.
We have a very close relative who told my husband's Mum she'd sent us a cheque, she hasn't . We gave them a cheque as a wedding gift last year. She has a lot going on at the moment. Maybe she will eventually remember, maybe she won't. It really doesn't matter.


As for negativity , no one said anything negative to us, if they had we honestly wouldn't have cared or given it a second thought. Our day, our way . We weren't out to impress anyone or please anyone except ourselves. Those who wanted to share were welcome and we were happy to give them hospitality but we weren't bothered about impressing anyone.

As for those awful poems asking for money with the invitation <shudder>

Pollycat

duchy wrote: »

As for those awful poems asking for money with the invitation <shudder>

We've recently had one of those.
Ho hum.
What a dilemma.