GENUINE Money Moral Dilemma!

Red-Squirrel_2

UKTigerlily wrote: »

No, it isn't always a choice.

I think moneyistooshorttomention has said before that it wasn’t a choice for her, she wanted to marry but never met the right person.

It happens more than people realise, and I suppose the choice is to marry someone not right for you (and either be a bit unhappy forever or become a divorce statistic) or forge on alone and learn to put with society’s rubbish attitude toward single people, especially women!

mattpaint

Pollycat wrote: »

Sorry that you're 'kinda confused'.
I personally don't think it's 'perfectly fair to ask people to contribute to a honeymoon' especially when you've been living together for years.
But some people seem to have a sort of entitlement.
I'd have wished you well and donated money to a more worthy cause.:cool:

Do you always refuse to give gifts based on what the recipient would like?

Pollycat

mattpaint wrote: »

Do you always refuse to give gifts based on what the recipient would like?

I buy gifts for people I know really well.
Therefore, I buy gifts that I know recipients would like.


The last wedding we attended was our neighbour's son.
They stated on the invite that they didn't want gifts - they had been living together for a while.
I asked our neighbour and bought a gift of a kitchen item that they were collecting.
It was appreciated.

mattpaint

Pollycat wrote: »

I buy gifts for people I know really well.
Therefore, I buy gifts that I know recipients would like.


The last wedding we attended was our neighbour's son.
They stated on the invite that they didn't want gifts - they had been living together for a while.
I asked our neighbour and bought a gift of a kitchen item that they were collecting.
It was appreciated.

So you have no issue taking requests for gifts, just as long as it pleases you?:rotfl:

Pollycat

mattpaint wrote: »

So you have no issue taking requests for gifts, just as long as it pleases you?:rotfl:

Who mentioned 'taking requests for gifts'?

mattpaint

You did, are you having trouble reading? I think MSE has an accessibility page that could help you.

Red-Squirrel_2

mattpaint wrote: »

You did, are you having trouble reading? I think MSE has an accessibility page that could help you.

That’s not a request, read it again, that’s choosing to ask someone close to the recipient if they know what they like.

That’s totally fine, no rudeness on either side.

Pollycat

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

That’s not a request, read it again, that’s choosing to ask someone close to the recipient if they know what they like.

That’s totally fine, no rudeness on either side.

Thank you.
Maybe mattpaint could take his own advice as he appears to be the one having trouble reading...

mattpaint wrote: »

You did, are you having trouble reading? I think MSE has an accessibility page that could help you.

moneyistooshorttomention

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I think moneyistooshorttomention has said before that it wasn’t a choice for her, she wanted to marry but never met the right person.

It happens more than people realise, and I suppose the choice is to marry someone not right for you (and either be a bit unhappy forever or become a divorce statistic) or forge on alone and learn to put with society’s rubbish attitude toward single people, especially women!

Yep...that's correct:T

I know myself perfectly well enough too to know that I'd have carried right on "looking" too - and almost certainly been unfaithful. One way or another - I anticipated I'd have been a divorce statistic at some point along the line.

I'm sure there are times when anyone thinks "Oh dear...this doesn't feel good" - but I tend to feel it would be a heck of a sight easier to deal with a Bad Patch in a marriage if you were both looking back thinking just how much in love you'd been when you married/how much you felt you were right for each other and hopefully could get back to feeling "the way you once felt". If one or both of you wasn't able to look back like that (because you never had felt that way) - that doesn't sound like a prognosis for a good future together imo.

EDIT; Though I certainly don't "put up with" Society's rubbish attitude to single people - I figure we need to campaign about it - as it certainly won't change otherwise imo.

Fireflyaway

I wouldn't mention it again. Maybe they forgot or maybe they are struggling financially?
Personally I don't like being asked to give money. It's awkward knowing how much is enough without wanting to appear to be too skimpy or too showy offy.
I'd rather have a small gift that's personal.