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GENUINE Money Moral Dilemma!
Mjkpio
Posts: 54 Forumite
Yup, this is an actual genuine MMD...!
I recently got married (yay!) and we asked for honeymoon contributions instead of gifts, having lived together for years and wanting to do the holiday of a lifetime (which we did!).
One relative, who I know is crazy busy with work, family, life etc, had asked me to remind them of the contribution details... twice... but still didn’t (I assume) get around to it.
So, do I remind them or just leave it? I don’t want them to feel bad for not doing it, so leaving it was my first choice.
I recently got married (yay!) and we asked for honeymoon contributions instead of gifts, having lived together for years and wanting to do the holiday of a lifetime (which we did!).
One relative, who I know is crazy busy with work, family, life etc, had asked me to remind them of the contribution details... twice... but still didn’t (I assume) get around to it.
So, do I remind them or just leave it? I don’t want them to feel bad for not doing it, so leaving it was my first choice.
Save/Pay for wedding & honeymoon by Aug 18 = COMPLETED!
Debt free by Dec 2018 = TBD
Savings Target by July 2019 = £20,000
2016 Goal = Buy a house with 10% deposit : COMPLETED!
2017/18 Goals = Pay off Student Loan (COMPLETED!) & Car Loan
Debt free by Dec 2018 = TBD
Savings Target by July 2019 = £20,000
2016 Goal = Buy a house with 10% deposit : COMPLETED!
2017/18 Goals = Pay off Student Loan (COMPLETED!) & Car Loan
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Comments
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Twice is enough. Unless they specifically ask again I'd let it go.
You can't keep saying to people "erm about that gift you still haven't sent my way..." without it sounding horribly mercenary.
ETA (Unless it's someone very close and you have that sort of relationship - I would be perfectly happy telling a sibling they're a tight git and where my prezzie. Because I know the spirit in which it would be taken.)
If they remember and ask again that's different.All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.0 -
Just leave it. They will ask again if they genuinely want to give you something.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
how close a relative? What's your relationship like with this person?0
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It's not about the presents.
Leave it....0 -
I'm another one in the 'let it go' camp.0
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Leave it.
Wedding presents were originally to help set up a home. You didn't 'need' anything, so maybe this relative was a bit strapped for cash and doesn't want to admit it - or pay for your honeymoon.Member #14 of SKI-ers club
Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.
(Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)0 -
Leave it... it was a potential gift, not a debt.0
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If you are reminding them it's cheeky on your part.0
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Leave it for now, but if they do ask again just pretend you forgot too so they don't feel bad!0
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You've reminded them already so time to leave it.
We had a similar situation with our wedding. We got a cheque as a gift from the best man in our newly married name. We don't have a joint account so there was no way to cash it. My husband politely messaged him and asked if he would mind sending the cheque again in just my husbands name or we could send our bank details. The best man replied straight away and said send the bank details I'll get my missus to transfer it as that's easier. We did... and we've had no money. We have let it go. It is rude to pursue it any further.0
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