MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Paul & Heather go 50/50?

cch32

Suzy Ormond, who is a money guru in the US says couples should pay the same percentage of their income to household expenses (married). That way one isn't penalised if they earn significantly less. My husband and I split everything 50/50 which makes is hard when he earns more and gets a huge bonus at the end of the year! What about that?

marke_3

me & my partner have a spreadsheet which combines our take home pay each month - subtracts the house and car expenses and splits the remainder equally between us.

That way we both have the same amount in our own accounts to spend on ourselves every month, while the living expenses are dealt with on a joint account. Sounds complicated - but for 15 minutes of time each month it works well!

Middlestitch

Doesn't sound a great basis for a marriage if he's THAT cost conscious at this stage.....

gemmaj

I'm also in a similar position, earning double what my partner earns (for another week till maternity leave starts anyway!).

I pay 3/4 of the mortgage and half the bills. The way I figure, he eats half the food, uses half the electric etc so its fair he pays that, but I wouldn't ask him to struggle to pay half the mortgage while I have a huge disposable income left over - it would only cause more problems when I want to go out/ on holiday etc and end up having to pay for him cos all his money went on the mortgage!

Before we got married we had an official contract drawn up about who got what with the house if we had split up - I get 3/4 of any profit etc. My partner was quite happy with this.

I'm afraid I have to disagree with the people that say married couples should have a joint bank account. I believe it can work either way, depending on the people. My husband is rather casual with money, and I am quite [STRIKE]uptight[/STRIKE] money saving. If we had a joint bank account I would get very annoyed when he spent £50 on booze on a night out, £300 going to watch a footy match etc thinking it could be my money, and I wouldn't approve of how he had spent it. As it is I am happy that he pays me first, and can spend the rest of his income as he wishes!

tjrocks4eva

Of course they should go 50/50 then Paul will have more money to take Heather out for romantic meals!:beer:

suzithefloozy

Paul sounds a bit anal, I'm not sure I'd want to move in with him!!!

My husband and I are in the same situation financially: he owns his own business and I am a postgraduate student, hence he brings in a lot more than I do and pays most of the bills. However, all the money I earn still goes into 'the pot', as his does, plus, my husband spends a lot more than I do - he smokes and is incapable of saving money, so I squirrel it away where he can't find it and when we want something new, I am usually the one who enables us to have it!

Being in love with someone involves an amount of give and take and an understanding that someone may earn more than the other, but so long as they're not sitting on their behinds and not working at all, they shouldn't be penalised for it. Besides, things may change one day and Heather may start earning more!

[Deleted User]

I agree with Middlestitch. This guy earns THREE times her salary and yet he's insisting on a 50/50 split. That's just mean. It's not even up for discussion - that's what he wants. I'm not talking legality here, I'm talking kindness, sharing, unselfishness, the ability to give and take. He clearly doesn't understand any of this, he doesn't really love her and is definitely not ready to get married. She shouldn't even consider moving in with him.

[Deleted User]

Reply to Sammy85 - does he eat more than 50% of the food? If he's like my husband, definitely !!

adiesmith404

I believe it only right to enter an agreement, even if its a relationship/house buy, with full intention of what you put in, you expect to get out. The fact that heather has a lesser wage would have no resemblance on the split value should the relationship fail, she or he would still expect a 50% return regardless of investment. By Paul having an increased wage, heather should look on it as the bills and house are all equally paid, but paul has money left over to treat heather and will probably be more than willing under the circumstances.

:money:

PS Learned from Experience.......... the hard way!!!

djlester_2

We do the same as Marke (by the sounds of it). We have a spreadsheet and plug in our respective salaries, and it shows who earns what percentage. For example - if I earn 1500 and the missus earns 1000, I pay 60% of bills, and she pays 40%. All possible expenses are added up (including travel etc.) and anything we pay for as individuals is removed from the percentage we need to pay. So if total expenses equals £1000, I would pay £600 into the joint account. If I have already paid the £400 mortgage costs out of my own account, I only chip in a further £200. If you have the spreadsheet it's simple!!

The reasoning - why should we pay 50/50 if one earns more? There is a balancing effect on our individual disposable incomes, and if I want to spend £1000 on a new LCD screen which I like but we don't NEED, that's from my money, not the joint account.

Having said all that - we have reasonably similar incomes, but quite different personal expenses. All of these are factored in. When the missus starts her new career (training to be a teacher) the whole thing will change. If she is not earning anything, or very little, then the spreadsheet provides for a negative transfer to help balance the books.