MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Paul & Heather go 50/50?

manchester_lizard

It should be done by percentage of earnings, otherwise Heather will have no disposable income and Paul will have loads. My hubby and I have always (even when we lived together before marriage) paid into a joint account a percentage of what we're earning, and then our disposable income is ours in our own accounts. I'm quite good with money and my husbands not. If he spends all his disposable income that's up to him to spend (bills are paid and I have my own money to do what I want), but if we had put all the money in one pot and he spent it all then I think we wouldn't have lasted this long :-) The joint account is used to pay all the bills and household expenditure. It changes everytime circumstances change. At the moment my husband earns 1.5 times more than me so we split it 40/60. In the past he's not been working and I have in which case I contributed 100%. I certainly wouldn't have expected him to contribute 50% when he wasn't earning.

dougal82

yes heather and paul should go 50/50 on all bills, rent etc but if he's a gentleman he'll prob spend on heather for other things like meals out etc. does he not do that anyway? i know my partner does and he wouldn't have it any other way....

Dorrie

How about they do the moral thing and get married before moving in? Then, when they live together in married bliss, they just pool their resources, which is the way it is supposed to be?

Marriage is meant to be for life, after all.

MissNic

Yes, I think Paul & Heather should split the bills & rent 50/50.

If Heather was to instead move out of home with a friend who earnt more money than her, she would still have to pay for 50% of the costs.

I think it is key than when they decide where to rent, that Heather's lower income is taken into account to ensure that the rent is affordable to her. That way they rent a mutually agreeable (and affordable) apartment.

Heather should certainly not attempt to live beyond her means just because Paul earns more.

I'm sure that Paul is a good bloke and will treat Heather when they go out for meals etc if she is struggling a bit financially.

PS Did anyone stop to consider that perhaps Heather & Paul come from rich families and each have trust funds, such that Heather earns £1m pa v's Pauls £3m?

Anyone still think that Paul should pay more than 50% now?

GeorgeUK

I say dump him before it's too late.

50/50 may seem ok on paper, but if that 50% is 95% of her wage then is it still fair?

cc99 - What happened to your friend really sucks. I thought if you lived together for a certian length of time you had the same rights as a married couple - but you don't

brucie24

I have to say this thread speaks volumes about societies general attitude to relationships/marriage etc.

I can only speak for myself but when my wife (now of 14yrs) and I first set up home together we agreed that we would treat the situation as we would if we were a married couple. We took responsibility for bills on the basis of what we could each afford to cover from our salaries each month. We put the property in joint names and when we married (six yrs later) we carried on the same way.

No one can predict what may or may not happen in the future but for me, if you base your partnership on assuming it won't last then chances are it's not going to. imho.

SunnyBrighton_2

Paul is mean and selfish, I would advise Heather to ditch him pronto!
At least certainly don't move in under those arrangements.

It'll only get worse as time goes on - people don't suddenly become kind and generous, if anything, they tighten down the hatches. Get out now!

I would bet that if Heather suddenly started earning 3 times his salary, he'd be bleating about it being unfair!

PayPeanuts_2

I earn a lot more than my boyfriend and we pay half and half towards rent and bills. I pay for our car and for takeaways, resteraunts, holidays and any other bits and pieces we need. One day we will get marrried and probably pool our money but we are both quite independant at this stage.

So in answer to the query I would say that if Heather wants to live with Paul because she loves him and she wants to be with him every day, yes, she should pay half. As long as Paul understands that this might mean he has to compromise on the size of house they live in and the area they can rent in so they live within Heathers means.

chrissiewants2save

I haven't read many replies but consideration of how hard Paul works as oppose to Heather. If they work equaly as hard then they should put it all in one pot and pay the bills etc. If 'individual' spends then become an issue they should then split bills by % of earnings. In any case, not being sexist, Paul would want Heather to forfit her career if they planned a family- then she would earn even less!!! Paul sounds a bit too controlling and on the defensive side- is he expecting the relationship to fall apart!! Hopefully they can agree to the money going all in one pot and expenses going out of it together with personal spends. Provided nobody is a spendaholic this should work fine. If worried they shouldn't get joint credit cards.

"If you go to a restaurant with friends you are quite happy to split the bill equally and usually most people wouldn't have the lobster while the others had the dish of the day!!" If neither is the type to have the lobster then all in one pot should work!
x

TomF_2

hum.. considering my own past experiences and sadly enough many of my friends split-ups... please people ... 50-50... and keep track because sooner or later you would regret it if you didn't.... more people split up then stay together. Love does NOT last....

TomF