MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Paul & Heather go 50/50?

PasturesNew

It all depends on how much each earns and the bills. Also who is the biggest user/waster of resources.

If, say, she was earning £1k and he was earning £3k per month - and the rent was £1000 and bills £400, then she's left with £300/month - and he's got £2,300/month.

Which then causes problems if he wants to go out a lot or wants them to have extra goodies (more bills) or go on a holiday.

She just wouldn't be able to afford it.

As a higher earner, he'd have greater expectations over what he wanted. Whereas she might say "let's rent a 1-bed flat in the cheap area", he would be saying "let's get a posh 2-bed new build".

She'd be happy with 4-5 TV channels, he'd want Sky, Sports, Extras.

GC-Scotland

Whilst I am a total romantic at heart I dont think its practical in this day and age to say that throwing money into a big pot and sharing it is the best or safest thing to do (not until they are married at least). While Paul and Heather are unmarried and living together they should split the bills and mortgage in the same proportion as their wages compare, with an agreement in place that if anything were to go wrong then they would each recover this same proportion from a future house sale, etc. Therefore if Paul earns 3 times more than Heather then Paul is earning 75% of their combined income whereas Heather is earning just 25%. If they split the mortgage this way and also the bills, then they will both feel the same proportionate impact on their income and both have a comparitive amount of disposable income left over each month for themselves.

Although love is blind, it cant be stupid! At least until they are legally married! Its a sad fact that dispite how loved up people are you need to protect yourselves for whatever might come your way! Living with someone is extremelly different to just dating them so you need to be careful (but also realistic about what you can afford - hence the proportionate solution).

I am in a profession which means that unless I marry someone else who does the same jobs as me (lets hope not!) then there is a high chance that I will earn more. This is not simply about being stingy, tight or mean, its about being realistic and careful! No one wants to be stretching themselves too much, especially when they cant afford it and your partner is loaded in comparison. But equally so no one wants to feel as though they are being taken for a ride and having someone go crazy with their hard earned wages because that can just amount to resentment!