MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Paul & Heather go 50/50?

in Money Saving Polls
82 replies 10.9K views
Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
Should Heather and Paul go 50/50?

Heather and her partner of two years Paul decide it’s time to move out of their parents’ homes and rent a house together before getting married. Paul insists the rent and bills should be split equally, even though his wage is three times Heather’s.
Should Heather and Paul go 50/50?

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Replies

  • Since they are going to get married, they should have the money in one pot and spend it together, save it together and earn it together regardless who is earning what, provided they are getting married for the right reasons!

    Marriage is not just for Christmas, it's for life!
    Be nice, life is too short to be anything else.
  • buzzabliniobuzzablinio Forumite
    16 Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    I agree with Thunderbird ... more or less ... depends why Paul is earning 3 times the pay of Heather. If he is working his socks off while Heather chills out doing a less stressful / less hours /etc type of job which is consequently less financially rewarding then she should pull her finger out and take on some more of the financial burden - share and share alike. On the other hand, if they both have the best jobs they can get, then yep, fair enough.
  • cc99cc99 Forumite
    53 Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    Marriage is a partnership it should be for the benefit of both, whats mine is my hubbys and whats his is mine, Everything is put in the one bank account and we share 50/50, however if they are not married yet, she should be careful and make sure if they go 50/50 that if it went pear shaped she could be left with less than him. Make sure the rent book/ deeds are in joint names and make sure if it did not work out that she was not left less if they were to split in the future.

    Sorry to rain on the parade but my friend put everything into her BFs house and they spent thousands doing it up, he then had an affair, dumped her and moved his new GF in, my friend is back living with her parents and at the age of 35 has nothing to show for the years she spent with her ex, he on the other hand sold the house he bought for £45, 000 for the princley sum of £125,000. All because everything was in HIS name and they were not married.
    Lady of Leisure!
  • blu-kblu-k Forumite
    10 Posts
    My bf and I are in this situation - we both work hard in our respective fields but mine is less well paid than him. I put it to him that we should pay an equal percentage of our earnings, rather than go 50/50 as I would be a lot worse off if we broke up, and day to day it affects the amount I have to save/spend far more than him. We ended up with a pretty informal agreement that rent and bills are 50/50, but he pays a lot more of the going out expenses and all the car expenses.
    Once we get hitched it won't matter so much as the money will all be thrown in together, but until then I would recommend discussing alternative ways than 50/50 if there is a large income gap.
  • Sammy85_2Sammy85_2 Forumite
    1.7K Posts
    Whilst i understand the points made about him earning more, why should he have to pay more than half the costs? Does he eat more than 50% of the food they purchase? Does he use more than 50% of the house, electricity, gas.. etc, etc, etc.?

    Once they are married then whats his is hers and whats hers (is hers!!!), but until then you really should keep everything equally split, then there are no arguements later. (I want a bigger percentage of this because i contributed more.. etc.)

    My partner and I split everything down the middle. He earns more than me but we both put an equal amount into the joint account each month to pay the mortgages and bills. Whats left of each of our wages in the end is ours to spend as we each wish.
    :jProud mummy to a beautiful baby girl born 22/12/11 :j
  • Presumably they have no problem sharing the bed 50/50, so what's the problem?

    50/50 or they are not ready to move in together, I reckon.
  • trundlecattrundlecat Forumite
    114 Posts
    Mortgage-free Glee!
    Forumite
    If they love each other this should be a no brainer. Since the begining of our relationship my husband & I have had frequent changes in who earned the most. When we bought the house (unmarried) I was the higher earner & put in most of the deposit & paid the mortgage. 7 years, 3 children & several promotions (for him) later he earns the most & so pays the bills (I could go on here about loss of promotion prospects for women with kids but I won't). If a couple have to sit & insist on what is theirs is theirs & the 50/50 split instead of working & living as a team from the very start then I don't really think they should be moving in together. That's not the mindset of 2 people who are in love & going to stand solid through the tougher challenges that lay ahead. Sometimes you have to take risks & a 100% committment from day 1 is important for a serious relationship.

    TC
  • Although it may seem unfair for him to have more disposable income than she does, it's dangerous for a woman to rely on a man for money. She needs to live within her means, at least until they are married. That way, she won't fall foul of any claims that he may make that she was 'freeloading' if things go pear shaped. 50-50 it should be, in my opinion.
  • There's a fact we're not aware of - how much disposable income does he have? My salary is roughly 1/3rd higher than my partners' - but I have about half the disposable income at the end of the month than they do thanks to debt re-payments. This needs to be taken into account as well.
  • When my partner and I moved in together, I insisted on going 50:50 as I didn't want to be seen as 'freeloading' (he earns quite a bit more than me). About a year into it, he was the one to suggest putting everything in one pot and I was the reluctant one! But he talked me round. At first it was a bit difficult, but now it's a lot easier. I think that at first you should split things down the middle until you settle in properly and see if you can actually live together...Even though we both work full time, I make up for earning less by doing all the housework and most of the cooking! Although that's not by choice!! :O)
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