MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Paul & Heather go 50/50?

iamcscott

aslong as they are realistic on what they are wanting to rent, go 50/50. If Paul demands to live somewhere too expensive for Heather they need to re-think the ratio. Go with Heathers' budget and stay happy.

blowingbubbles

Sod that I wouldn't give my hard earned cash away! 50/50 all the way. I would never expect a partner to do this.

She should learn to live as an independent women you never know if they break up, she kills him for being a tight git etc she will then need to cope by herself.

Anyway if I had plenty of cash over I would treat my women in hope of many sexual pleasures!

beccolina

It also depends where they want to live. If one can only afford Hackney and the other (richer partner) insists on living nowhere else than Chelsea then he should pay. Similarly if one partner cannot afford a holiday then you cannot really expect them to pay 50%.

All problems I have had when I was on minimum wage with my partner earning 14 times as much as me ...

B.

janbanan

Sounds very stingy to me if he's insisting on 50/50. What is he going to do with the rest - save up his private fortune? Sounds like he's putting his own interest before their relation. Does not seem like foundations for a marriage.
Also, what when she gets pregnant and stops working? Will he insist on her taking out a loan to pay for half the costs?

tallgirld

Yeah it should be split 50/50.

mistdemon

gemmaj wrote: »

Before we got married we had an official contract drawn up about who got what with the house if we had split up - I get 3/4 of any profit etc. My partner was quite happy with this.

hmmm...could that be because they know that pre-nups have little or no legal status during divorce proceedings....:rolleyes:

anyway, back to the subject...
I earn about 3x as much as my partner but wouldn't dream of doing a 50:50 split. We did try that originally, at her insistence, but it just left her with not nearly enough money and I would then end up subbing her anyway...I know she found that to be a pretty soul-destroying experience, having to ask me for money all the time. Far better to pay an equal % of salary - surely if you care enough for your partner you would not want to see them struggling?

If you measure a relationship by how much money you put in then it doesn't matter how you split things as it's doomed anyway!

and before you ask...I don't use the fact that I contribute significantly more ££'s as an excuse to duck out of the housework...that bit we definitely split 50/50!;)

busabus

I have to say I'm surprised by all the 50/50s because my attitude was so against it.

We were in the same situation and decided to go by ratios, both of us putting a relative sum (eg £60/£100) into a joint account each month that pays for bills and everything that will be for us both. It varies when our salaries change and sometimes needs to be topped up for larger expenses.

At first I was pro putting everything into one pot, but now I've seen the quantity of shoes a woman needs, I'm happy to be blinded to the actual costs. Equally she's probably quite happy to not see how much goes on essential electronics (toys). Needless to say as a money saver I make sure we're both saving at the best rates, along with leveraging the most out of the tax man.

It may be fine to say you only use half the bed, half the food, so you only pay half the amount, but in effect you're penalising the lower income party. They have less disposable income, and you're double whammying them by taking a bigger proportion. This will only ever benefit the higher earner. The effect becomes much easier to see when the difference between two incomes is large.

As a word of caution though, if you're not married and you're investing in something like a house, then make sure you have an agreement where the ratio you invest equals the ratio you own. This is just sensible, and will relieve pressure for both parties because in the inevitable arguments you'll face, neither party can blackmail the other. We're all capable of nasty thoughts in the heat of it so don't give yourselves the opportunity.

My final thoughts for the day are, concentrate on what VALUE you each add to a household. If one person is doing nothing while the other person is looking after the kids and bringing in 10k, then there is in-balance. If one person is bringing home 100k and not killing themselves, while the other takes care of the kids and is killing themselves then there is in-balance. If one person brings home 20k and the other person looks after an elderly parent, neither are killing themselves, neither are lazy, then you have stability which is the foundation of everything.

busabus

iamcscott wrote: »

aslong as they are realistic on what they are wanting to rent, go 50/50. If Paul demands to live somewhere too expensive for Heather they need to re-think the ratio. Go with Heathers' budget and stay happy.

Except that if Paul's salary is £200mil and Heather's is £2k, is it unreasonable for Paul to demand they live in something other than a cardboard box?

Leah1704

I live mith my bf, we have the same dilemma I earn a considerable amount less than him so if we split things 50/50 i would have no money left at all each month for my own expenses ie car insurance etc so we have worked it that he pays 75% and I pay 25% even with that he has more money than me left at the end of the month after we have both paid our own expenses.

I think you should pay the percentage that you can afford and what is fairest. You should look at your joint bills and your personal bills and work out a way to make sure you are not drawing the short straw.

TESSA100_2

I think it's important to look at the bigger picture. Is he going to be working longer hours? Will she be doing more of the household chores? Will she have to support him emotional because his job is more stressful? Would she move somewhere cheaper or stay living at home if it wasn't for him? When they going out for dinner whose going to pay or will they split the bill?

There's more to life than money, and if he wants to start a marriage by putting financial strain on her it's doomed to fail.