Best advice to give to son?

sheramber

One son stayed at home and one lived at uni.

Both thought they knew where they wanted to go but both changed their minds when they visited said universities.

One son went with fellow classmates to the university open day which was during the week. They were able to speak to current students about their courses. That was when he decided he did not want to go to that uni and chose another.

For the other the open days were at the weekend and again he decided first choice was not where he wanted to go after all and he went to the other one.

I would definitely encourage him to visit any uni he is interested in.

Surely, you could spare a few hours to visit before the birthday celebration for such an important decision.

Skintski

I stayed at home for university. I wish I’d gone away as all my friends did. They all had so much more of an experience than I did. I struggled to settle in properly since all those I knew lived on campus and I didn’t so I didn’t get to get involved in everything like they did.

I finished the course, got my degree but if I could do it over I’d go away.

I would definitely recommend visiting a university before taking on a 3/4 year course. They all have different things to offer which you’re unlikely to find out about unless you visit.

theoretica

redmel1621 wrote: »

He will have access to the uni library even if he lives at home? With regards talking to other students he will also have the same opportunities to do that as he would if he lived at home. In halls you aren't always sharing with people from your course, so he may end up with no one in his accommodation that eh can talk to about his course anyway.

He will have access to the library, but unless you live very near it is unlikely to be the same - coming back from the library, parties, group chats or study sessions late at night, or discussing work (his or theirs) with fellow students over breakfast. Would he have access to the halls where his peers will be staying and the communal spaces there?

dawyldthing

I was a bit like it when I went to uni.

So from the finance side - he will get loans that are means tested based on your income. I went to uni 13 years ago but still left with debt, I think it’s at £23k now. As I don’t earn over the threshold I don’t normally pay it back. I paid a quid back earlier in the year due to the overtime. But some do. My copper mate pays back £120 a month and like she said is hoping to pay it back soon as the interest does work out quite a lot.

Uni accommodation - he can still be involved in uni life, sports clubs and like whether he lives in or out of uni. There weren’t as many involved in the footie club that lived at home, but maybe it was just the cohort.

Course - ask careers advisor what they suggest. Your first year is like the foundations for everyone so you know the basics for year 2 and 3 as folk go on the courses from a range of backgrounds and experience. But, folk do swap courses after year one. So doing the hnd then degree route isn’t a bad thing.

Tell him to do a diagram of pros and cons from both.

There are pros - building relationships, managing own money, independent study (you might worry he won’t do it but it’s his choice. At uni you either do your assignments or you don’t - they won’t chase you), living away from home.

And cons - cost, might get homesick. I’m sure there’s more

But only he can decide

oystercatcher

I think it's really important to go to some uni open days, it gives so much more insight into what goes on and what a place is like. Even if he doesn't like the place that is a positive because it crosses an option off the list and narrows the choices down.

At one of the open days we went to one of the lecturers said

"Choosing the right uni is as important as choosing the right person to marry. It affects how the rest of you life will turn out."

Do take some time off work and and go look at some places with him, school / college are used to students going to open days and won't mind if he lets them know. I'm afraid a siblings birthday is really insignificant in comparison to choosing a uni. You can do birthday stuff on another day .

I also found taking that time to be with my child and travel meant we had more time to discuss the options and life choices. A couple of our visits meant overnight stays , yes it was expensive but we booked well in advance and got the best train and hotel prices and really enjoyed that quality time together .

ViolaLass

redmel1621 wrote: »

He wants to go and tbh a year out is not the best idea. I know too many people who 'took a year out' and never returned to education. They got a job and didn't want to give up the money, but always regretted the decision. I fully support him wanting to continue his education without a gap.

He can always go later, as could have those who regretted not having gone.

If you don't go back to education after a year out, I would question how much you really want to be in education.

Red-Squirrel_2

redmel1621 wrote: »

However, he does need to weight it up. Some of the halls are more than he would get via student loans. He will get £4200, the halls of unis he is mentioning are anything from £3900 - £6500 for 9 months so It is hard to reconcile that. I would only charge him £2400 for the full 12mths.

.

You would charge £200 a month for a bed in a room shared with two children that he can’t even use after a certain time? :eek:

onomatopoeia99

redmel1621 wrote: »

That said, I was saying to him that studying here is difficult. Even on his days off he is woken up by his brother getting up to do his paper round, his dad up and off out early in the morning to work. He then has to come out the room when his younger brother goes to bed.

And you want to charge him rent for that? Never mind that he will be borrowing money via a student loan. To pay you rent.:eek:



Even if he goes to the local uni, he needs to move out and find lodgings to have his own space.

gettingtheresometime

Hubby went to his local uni 30 years ago & lived at home for the first year but moved out firstly to halls and then to rented accommodation for years 2/3.

Although the situation is different, he always said that the experience was different in the last two years simply because he had to grow up.....he had to budget, plan his meals & become domesticated.

At the end of the day, surely he should go to the best university, regardless of whether it's the closest or not, for his course?

*max*

I have a feeling you're thinking about this with pretty much only money on your mind. You mentioned you would lose tax credits for him once he goes to uni. And then that you will charge him rent once he goes (!!!). So you're maybe relying on getting that money you're losing in the form of him paying you rent instead? Which means if he goes away, you won't get his money.

I hope you've not told him this, it's extremely unfair to him to even mention any of it. He might feel a need to stay in this cramped situation and sacrifice his prospects just so you don't lose money.

Hopefully it's not the case. The choice should be based on what HE wants to do, and the best option for HIM, nothing else.