Best advice to give to son?

redmel1621

OldMusicGuy wrote: »

He should make the choice about going to Uni on the basis of how a degree could help him in his future life, not what's most convenient/cheapest. If he has a degree subject in mind he should try to get to the best Uni he can that offers that course, not the one that is closest to home.

Personally, I would say going to Uni while living at home is best avoided. Part of Uni life is learning how to balance studies, social life and cooking/looking after yourself without mum/dad/whoever doing it all for you. It's great preparation for life in the real world.

I can see how staying home might make it easier to study in terms of less stress. No worries about food or big accommodation costs etc...

That said, I was saying to him that studying here is difficult. Even on his days off he is woken up by his brother getting up to do his paper round, his dad up and off out early in the morning to work. He then has to come out the room when his younger brother goes to bed.

I think if I were him I would have moved out by now!

happyandcontented

What Btech course is he studying? Is he on track for at least DDD? The level after any Btech is very much harder so he needs to be working at a reasonably high level on the current course to be sure that he is up to the challenge of either a straight degree or HNC/D and top up.

We went to visit a lot of universities with our kids and they chose the ones that fitted their subject choices best and got the best results and also had good student satisfaction surveys. We also took account of the facilities, for example, we loved Leeds but the lab facilities were poor, despite them being a top provider for the subject. Russell Group was also important to us. Degrees are not all equal even if they are in the same subject, and they are not viewed that way by employers. The calibre of the institution is also a big factor.

I would also urge him to really think about living away, we saw a huge maturing of all ours when they did that.

It is natural to worry, but he will survive and thrive!

OldMusicGuy

redmel1621 wrote: »

I can see how staying home might make it easier to study in terms of less stress. No worries about food or big accommodation costs etc...

So what happens in the real world when he has to balance full time work (far more stressful than studying when they have plenty of spare time at Uni) with all of the realities of daily life? Uni is great prep for that but in a more controlled way - they do have long holidays you know. Or is he going to live at home with mum forever....;)

redmel1621

We aren't really getting time to visit any universities. With him and his dad both working weekends. There is an open day tomorrow at one he might be interested in, but it is his brother 16th tomorrow so we aren't going to make that either!

We're all at work/college/school etc through the week so no time to arrange a separate viewing either! It is really hard as we are such a busy family.

happyandcontented

redmel1621 wrote: »

We aren't really getting time to visit any universities. With him and his dad both working weekends. There is an open day tomorrow at one he might be interested in, but it is his brother 16th tomorrow so we aren't going to make that either!

We're all at work/college/school etc through the week so no time to arrange a separate viewing either! It is really hard as we are such a busy family.

It is quite important though if you can, as you do get a feel for a place and often they know right away if it is for them or not. You can plan ahead as some universities put their open days on their websites a year in advance.

redmel1621

OldMusicGuy wrote: »

So what happens in the real world when he has to balance full time work (far more stressful than studying when they have plenty of spare time at Uni) with all of the realities of daily life? Uni is great prep for that but in a more controlled way - they do have long holidays you know. Or is he going to live at home with mum forever....;)

Oh I know! Preaching to the converted lol. I mean that I can see how he might think it will be better to stay at home.

I don't want to push him out of the home, so want him to see that it is a good option.

However, he does need to weight it up. Some of the halls are more than he would get via student loans. He will get £4200, the halls of unis he is mentioning are anything from £3900 - £6500 for 9 months so It is hard to reconcile that. I would only charge him £2400 for the full 12mths.

It is a difficult decision for him I think.

redmel1621

happyandcontented wrote: »

It is quite important though if you can, as you do get a feel for a place and often they know right away if it is for them or not. You can plan ahead as some universities put their open days on their websites a year in advance.

I should've pushed him to have a look further afield, but he was so set on staying home we never bothered. We are fast running out of time now. His application has to be in by Jan 15th

We have been to the local unis for various reasons, so are famailiar with them already.

happyandcontented

redmel1621 wrote: »

Oh I know! Preaching to the converted lol. I mean that I can see how he might think it will be better to stay at home.

I don't want to push him out of the home, so want him to see that it is a good option.

However, he does need to weight it up. Some of the halls are more than he would get via student loans. He will get £4200, the halls of unis he is mentioning are anything from £3900 - £6500 for 9 months so It is hard to reconcile that. I would only charge him £2400 for the full 12mths.

It is a difficult decision for him I think.

If he won't get the full loan (due to your income levels) a parental top-up is expected if at all possible. Also, is it imperative that you charge him rent whilst he is studying? It is quite unusual ime.

OldMusicGuy

Does he really need to go to Uni, or could he wait a year? You really seem to be making the decision on the wrong basis here. This is a once in a lifetime chance and you shouldn't be doing it on the grounds of low cost and convenience IMO. The job market is very competitive out there, he needs the best degree he can get from the best Uni his qualifications allow him to get to. If that is one of your local ones, great. If not, he could end up struggling to get a job after three years.

Regarding ease of studying at home, how many of your household know the subject he will be studying? How many books on the subject do you have? If he lives at Uni he will be able to discuss his course topic with other students, he will have easy access to the Uni library. Will he have the same facilities at home....?

ViolaLass

He doesn't have to decide this year. He could do a gap year (and fill it with useful things, including a job).