New Diary - New Hope

edited 26 April 2020 at 8:45AM in Debt free diaries
113 replies 9.3K views
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  • Treadingwater02Treadingwater02 Forumite
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    Hi Everyone,

    Thanks for all the support and encouraging words!

    Yes Fla603, you are correct in what you say and this is my worry as well, XDH pays half of the mortgage but will not pay towards any of the work that needs to be done, mainly because he is deluded and thinks the house was perfect up until the point he left and then is magically started to fall apart! In truth its from years of neglect or bodging work that has led to this which I fully admit I am partly responsible for.

    I did speak to a solicitor and they said that as I live in the house all maintenance is down to me as I am the one benefiting from living there (does not feel like a benefit at the moment!) further down the line I can try to haggle over equity and fight for a bigger percentage but as I am not in the financial position to buy XDH out or sale and buy my own place that is quite a way off yet so I have decided that I will make the house safe and then I'm not going to complete anymore major works unless it is an absolute must, although I could write a never ending list of stuff that needs to be done but apart from just general decoration I am planning to stop.

    I have no idea what XDH plan is or what he will feel he is entitled to so I will just have to wait and see, also I have no ambition to nasty or do him out of any money he is entitled to as I want him to sort his life out and give my DD a secure base with him as well which currently she does not have. For me its about being reasonable and fair but I fear our versions of reasonable and fair defer considerably!

    This is for me where the regrets start creeping in and the 'if onlys' appear, 'if only I had saved' if only I hadn't got myself into debt' then I would be in a very different position and be able to buy XDH out but back to reality.........................I can't and won't be able to for a fair few years yet so I will plod on regardless, keep the end goal insight and I'm sure it will mean so much to me when i eventually reach it.

    I read this quote that said 'nothing in the past ever changes' and this is true so I try not to look back too much but what the past has given me is a whole load of experience, some good some bad and I am determined to not make the same mistakes again and my biggest hope is to be more financially intelligent as I never want to experience the sheer debilitating stress of debt and no money ever again.

    That post was a bit longer than I expect........must have needed to get that off my chest.

    x
    LBM Debt at: £47454:eek:
    Current total 26th Oct 2020 £ 25,808.04
  • Purplemumof2Purplemumof2 Forumite
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    Morning Treading,

    Sometimes it is good to jot things down and get things off your chest.

    Sorry that ex is being a pain but at least you have your end goal in sight.

    Have a lovely day xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    BC: £5000.00 - Lloyds: £5590.00
    Xmas Pot £535/£700 ~ EF £621/1000
    PAYDBX 2021 - #? £0 / £2,000
  • Treadingwater02Treadingwater02 Forumite
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    Nothing too exciting here but thought I would do a quick update.

    Kitchen is finally getting there but very slowly, this is mainly to do with having very little money to chuck at it and relying on friends and family for help but at least a lot of the major work is done and hopefully soon I can stop feeling like everything is permanently covered in dust! Just trying to figure out affordable flooring (if there is such a thing!) it's so difficult to find something durable but affordable, this is something I will need to keep looking in to.
    LBM Debt at: £47454:eek:
    Current total 26th Oct 2020 £ 25,808.04
  • Treadingwater02Treadingwater02 Forumite
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    Nothing to really report on debt, looking forward to pay day.

    I've had a bit of a wobble this week and felt pretty useless but I feel I have bounced back quite quickly, I think my resilience is definitely building and getting stronger. I'm back to feeling quite good, motivated and looking forward to the future.

    I've realised that since my separation I have put on weight 1 1/2 stone to be exact, this has been for lots of different reasons but definitely linked to my emotions I now feel ready to tackle this so have set myself the target of losing 14lbs to begin with, I know I am better setting myself achievable targets one at a time rather than going for it all at once, this helps to keep my motivation going. I am going to follow the ethos of SW I cannot afford to join a group but I still have old books and friends at work have updated me on some of the new bits that have been introduced.

    In other good news have found some quality flooring for the kitchen at a price I can just about afford, its £160 less than the first floor I was quoted for so we are really chugging along and I'm now keeping my fingers crossed that my friend finds me a kitchen.

    Other challenges:
    11/21 - May's bring your lunch to work
    Potted a few bits but not a fortune in Potters 2019
    Made £75/£100 target I set myself to make extra so far this month
    LBM Debt at: £47454:eek:
    Current total 26th Oct 2020 £ 25,808.04
  • Choccygirl123Choccygirl123 Forumite
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    Hi treading water

    Just wanted to say I think you're amazing! You've got your dmp in place and still mabaging to get the house repairs done. Following a break down with my ex partner I had a spiral and blew all my savings and racked up a credit card debt! Looking forward to seeing your figure drop into the 30s.
    2023 Savings Challenges
    Complete the 1 to 500 pence grid challenge from extra income from selling, surveys & cashback
    Jan - £203.97
    Total Saved - updated 31/1/2023 £203.97 / target by Xmas 2023 £1252.50

    Save between £1-£52 a week - have randomly generated which number to save each week
    Total Saved £135 / £1378

    Debt Overpayments
    15/1/23 - Total for year £50
  • jwiljwil Forumite
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    You are doing great. I'm doing SW so if you want anything just shout :)
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
  • Treadingwater02Treadingwater02 Forumite
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    Thanks for the support, it means a lot!

    On the weight front I've lost 4lbs, very happy and it means I've dropped into a lower stone bracket and means if I can keep going I might be able to fit into my summer wardrobe as I was thinking I might have needed to start hacking arms off winter wardrobe as cannot afford new summer clothes lol.

    Super excited about Friday as its payday and I get to drop into the 30's!! Just cannot come quick enough.

    I feel really good at the moment, things seem to be making steady progress, I've downloaded an app to my phone to help me settle and sleep as I do struggle sometimes and tend to make mental never ending lists. I've only been using it since the beginning of the week and last night I fell asleep before the person had stopped talking! When I woke up I was shocked at how well I had slept so going to carry on using it.

    4lb/14lb lost.......whoop whoop!
    15/21 - May's bring your lunch to work
    Potted a few bits but not a fortune in Potters 2019
    Made £75/£100 target I set myself to make extra so far this month
    LBM Debt at: £47454:eek:
    Current total 26th Oct 2020 £ 25,808.04
  • jwiljwil Forumite
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    Well done on the weightloss :T
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
  • Treadingwater02Treadingwater02 Forumite
    119 Posts
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    jwil wrote: »
    Well done on the weightloss :T
    Thanks, I'm really motivated after a good loss for the first week.
    LBM Debt at: £47454:eek:
    Current total 26th Oct 2020 £ 25,808.04
  • Treadingwater02Treadingwater02 Forumite
    119 Posts
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    So it's pay day today and today is officially the day that my debt drops into the next bracket!! I started off with around £47000 worth of debt and today the figure stands at £39,437.98!!! It is still a big number but if I keep paying it at the rate I am at the moment, this time next year that number will begin with a 2.:T

    This is such a big achievement, at points I have wondered if that number would ever drop but this has really now made paying of this debt a realistic goal, on wards and upwards.

    It other fab news the floor is getting laid in the kitchen tomorrow so goodbye dusty flooring hello lovely clean, new flooring:j

    Have a great day everyone :beer:
    LBM Debt at: £47454:eek:
    Current total 26th Oct 2020 £ 25,808.04
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