Loss of value on engagement ring

pollypenny

Odious guy! You're well out of that.

Kay_Gee

Claddagh_Noir wrote: »

You dodged a bullet there, he sounds deranged. I bet he is the sort that would have drew up a pre-nup also.

This made me laugh. Then I realised I paid for everything, Even his "treats" to me.

Pollycat

LKRDN_Morgan wrote: »

Where did your other post go?

Yes, indeed.
Where did it go?
Did someone report it?
If so, why?

A tale of controlling husband-to-be (a couple of weeks imminent) and suddenly there is a dispute about an engagement ring.

McKneff

Tell him to take a walk till his hat floats....

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Kay_Gee wrote: »

Thank you for confirming I don't owe anything. People told me I was allowed to keep the ring as it was given as a gift for marriage but then I thought he could get it back and leave me alone.

Of course 'll be blocking his e-mails. I've already submitted a request to IT as it was on my work e-mail address.

Send your home email a copy of the request (and his email). You might end up needing it as evidence if he goes on to harass you. And do the same if he uses new email addresses to continue to contact you. But do not even engage with him one bit. Not one word - if you have to do anything legal, everything is through your solicitor (and they can include in any letter the instruction that he/his family/his representatives are only to contact them).

It would be a plan to set up a new personal email with a name and password he cannot guess (and change all the passwords on your current email and all social media accounts, bank accounts, mobile phone account, etc, etc). That way, he can't contact you all the time, if he uses new accounts, you have the evidence and he cannot either access your accounts or go through your emails/check call logs/etc. If he's that controlling and coercive, it wouldn't be unusual for him to have already been looking at ways to monitor you - he probably knows the answers to your security questions, after all.

Could he have had access to your car? Could he potentially report it as stolen or sneak a cheap phone with tracking installed? Check the boot, under the footwell carpet, etc, just to make certain.

Depending upon where you work, it might be worth having a chat with security about the possibility of people hanging around early in the day or after normal hours - are there cameras? A friendly (and large) security guard who would walk with you to your car of an evening - the nights are drawing in, after all? If there's allocated parking spaces, could they allow you to change yours so that you're directly in view of the cameras?


Hopefully, none of it will be strictly necessary. But it'll give you more peace of mind and could be literally a lifesaver, as whether anybody likes it or not, leaving somebody who has been exercising coercive control does significantly increase the risk of the abuse escalating into harassment and/or violence.


But well done on leaving. I didn't see any updates before the thread was pulled, but I'm glad you got out.

Skintski

What better proof that you’re better off without that one.

As others have said, don’t engage at all. You’re only giving him what he wants if you do. Time to move on!

Stoke

He's a fairly odious creature, isn't he? A poor excuse for a man.

You were right to give the ring back though. I was told by my solicitor that while a ring is a gift, it is technically a gift on the assumption of future marriage and therefore you can legally request it back.

As for the difference in price, he's got absolutely no hope. You owe him nothing. I wouldn't even reply, I would ignore him.

[Deleted User]

Yes. Don't reply. He's wrong anyway.

JamoLew

PasturesNew wrote: »

An engagement ring is gift. It's yours - he should be grateful you gave it back

.

That is incorrect. It is a gift in anticipation of marriage, which did not occur and therefore must be returned. (Assuming he paid for it !)

keithdc

JamoLew wrote: »

That is incorrect. It is a gift in anticipation of marriage, which did not occur and therefore must be returned. (Assuming he paid for it !)

Hmmmmm.... NO!

"The gift of an engagement ring shall be presumed to be an absolute gift; this presumption may be rebutted by proving that the ring was given on the condition, express or implied, that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place for any reason."
Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1970 Section 3