Opinions about working kids paying Housekeeping needed!

wot_a_life

My son is 20, he works full time, alot of the time, he works away from home, monday to Wednesday, home then away again until Friday.

He picks up approximately £279.00 per week.

For the last 2 years we have had £20.00 from him every week for his meals when he's at home, his room equipped with sky, washing, ironing etc

Last week, after alot of suspecting, it was confirmed that he was taking drugs, smoking weed, swallowing pills and cocaine. My Husband told him that his rent was to go up to £50.00 per week, unknown to him we were to save £30.00 for him in an account, this giving him less money to spend on drugs.

He's come home this weekend, he won't speak to any of us, he hasn't paid any rent, he's been out all weekend in the pub and gone to work this morning!

How do you handle that one? I'm at a loose end!

Kaz2904

I have this argument with DH already and ours are 5&3! I want to teach them the value of money and give them a hand towards their first deposit/ furniture etc but DH thinks it's awful to even consider taking money from them.

I think that when they do reach that age we will do it but it will be fairly low. I for one think that 30% of their wages from first job is a good idea. I will encourage them to save some too for first cars and insurance etc and then the rest can be used for frivolities!

LouBlue

I think it shouldn't matter whether the parent(s) involved can afford to subsidise their children or not. You should be teaching them the value of money and how much bills are when they want to move out. If its handed to them on a plate, it will be that much harder for them when they move out and will tend to keep coming back for handouts when in trouble. Just my opinion anyway.

Fortheloveofmoney

themaccas wrote: »

Going back a few years just after we got married and I was working in a bank, a young lad had also started working there, first job after leaving school and he said he didn't pay his parents anything as they refused to take it. His mum told him they had had him for love not money.

This kind of stuck with me and although I am now agreeing with OH that our children should pay, I also want to be able to help them out when they get their own place either renting or buying so we have decided that we would take the money and save it for them. However it's very unlikely it will happen, DS1 goes to uni next year and it's very doubtful he'll come and live back at home when he graduates, the type of work he'll be looking for won't be around here unfortunately.

Thanks for that. I can sort of see that point although I do think it's important to teach kids the value of money. My best friend had a baby in August and as a present i bought her a piggy bank with the promise that Aunty Fortheloveofmoney will teach her all about the danger of credit cards when she is old enough to listen. :rotfl:

Fortheloveofmoney

toffeepennys wrote: »

i always paid a third of my wages as housekeep, even since i had my first saturday job and only earnt 9.00 a day (1990). i moaned about it continously although im greatful now, i left home and moved into my own home with a mortgage for 50,000 in 1995 and was actually able to live cheaper on my own than i was at home!

i am now mortgage free (its was all paid off in 10 years) and im very lucky at the age of 32 to say that

Wow I'm 32 in 2 weeks and I'm no where near paying off the mortgage. Well done you! :T

I too paid a third to mum and dad but not until I was earning a full time salary. The part time jobs I had whilst at school (earnt my own money from age 11) was mine...all mine.....I guess it didn't teach me much though....

LouBlue

Fortheloveofmoney wrote: »

as a present i bought her a piggy bank with the promise that Aunty Fortheloveofmoney will teach her all about the danger of credit cards when she is old enough to listen. :rotfl:

Mmm, my 15 year old niece did take after me when I was her age. As soon as she gets some money, she spends it! But she is seeing the light now, she has a Saturday job and is saving half of it each week so when she sees something she wants, she thinks about it, and waits til she has saved up. Most of her friends won't get a Saturday job because they can't be bothered but they envy her when she buys herself something out of her earnings. She has gained a lot of confidence too. Wish I had been like her at her age, I was NOT interested in savings!! :rotfl:

taxi73

I take £150 p/m off my daughter and she brings home between £800-£900 p/m...she's happy to pay this to me as she was living with her boyfriend in a rented house (unfortunately he was a lazy git) so she would pay all the bills so never had any money...so she split with him and moved back in here...she said it's great and she can go out and do what she wants then.All working kids should have to pay board....nothing in life is free and they need to know the value of money at the end of the day

skint_spice

If I'm ever in that situation - chances are DS will have to move to get a job though - I like the idea that you charge get a percentage. Hopefully by then I'd be in a position to use half and save half for him but if he continues to eat constantly like he does now the percentage would have to be huge!
My folks didn't talk about money and only charged a token to me for staying there which is maybe a factor in me being this rubbish with money. they wouldn't talk about bills or earnings but I've tried to explain to DS when he asks about bills so he already gets the basic ideas - not bad for an 8 yr old who still believes in Santa!

Gemmzie

My brother pays a third of his income in rent, in theory, but it's actually £40 a week fixed at the moment.
I pay £150 a month, which is about a third of my working income. I get student loans too but I contribute by doing the finances instead of paying more.

oops_a_daisy

I was made to pay £10 per week to my Mother which was a third of my wages at 16 years old. I resented it because my sister was never made to pay and ended up living at my parents till she was over 30 years old. If I am in a position not to then I will not make my daughter pay me to live in her own home. I didnt have her to make her pay to live. My door is always open to my DD and always will be. My household expenses do not differ too much if she is at home or not, I still have to heat the home and pay the bills whether she is here or not. I know this goes against a lot of what has been said here about teaching her the meaning of money but she has her own bank account at the age of 14 and I am teaching her to be responsible for money. It would actually cost me less if she did live at home