New plan...time to see some movement!

in_need_of_direction

Looks like I’m not the only one who craves a pensieve like dumbledore’s in Harry Potter. Something that works for me is listing and tackling tolerations. These are things that bother us but that we just put up with. It might be worth a go. I cleared three in 15 minutes at the weekend. It really helps me

seahorsey

Jwil I could have so written your post. I saw this carton a few weeks back and I think it sums up my situation perfectly (and probably yours too by the sounds of things).

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic

Be gentle on yourself- and make sure you carve out a bit of “me” time. I know it’s easier said than done with a young family but it is so important. The saying you can’t pour from an empty glass is so true. Even if it’s just half an hour to sit quietly with a pen and paper and get your head round things, it will be a massive help.

I recently did a massive brain dump to get all the things that have been whizzing round my head out of there - it made me feel so much better. I ended up with a huge long list that I then transferred into an app called Trello. I’ve then been using trello to categorise as urgent / not urgent / important/ not important to help me prioritise and set my to do lists for the day / week.

Also take a look at the organised mum blog. She has some really useful downloads to follow for getting and keeping on top of housework in 30 mins a day.

Big hugs to you - it’s not a nice place to be, but things will get better x x x

jwil

doingitanyway wrote: »

So sorry to see you are having such a tough time. Well done for all the efforts you are making and sending a hug.

Thank you DIA

savingholmes wrote: »

HI Jwil - sorry you've been feeling rough. One of the things that helps me is watching motivational youtubes that force you to focus on what is good with your life and what's possible - rather than just the struggle

Thank you, I might look for some videos, they sound like just what I need.

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Sorry you've been feeling so bad Jwil. We see how productive you are, how hard you work and how much you achieve. But maybe you can't always see it as you are so close to the situation. Having a young family is hard. Working is hard. Doing all that de-cluttering and ebaying is hard. I'm constantly amazed at how much you achieve.

Give yourself a break now and again and be kind to yourself. You deserve it. xx

Thank you HHD

jwil

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Looks like I’m not the only one who craves a pensieve like dumbledore’s in Harry Potter. Something that works for me is listing and tackling tolerations. These are things that bother us but that we just put up with. It might be worth a go. I cleared three in 15 minutes at the weekend. It really helps me

A pensieve would be amazing!

That's a good idea about the tolerations, I'm going to give it a go., Thank you

seahorsey wrote: »

Jwil I could have so written your post. I saw this carton a few weeks back and I think it sums up my situation perfectly (and probably yours too by the sounds of things).

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic

Be gentle on yourself- and make sure you carve out a bit of “me” time. I know it’s easier said than done with a young family but it is so important. The saying you can’t pour from an empty glass is so true. Even if it’s just half an hour to sit quietly with a pen and paper and get your head round things, it will be a massive help.

I recently did a massive brain dump to get all the things that have been whizzing round my head out of there - it made me feel so much better. I ended up with a huge long list that I then transferred into an app called Trello. I’ve then been using trello to categorise as urgent / not urgent / important/ not important to help me prioritise and set my to do lists for the day / week.

Also take a look at the organised mum blog. She has some really useful downloads to follow for getting and keeping on top of housework in 30 mins a day.

Big hugs to you - it’s not a nice place to be, but things will get better x x x

Thank you. That cartoon is amazing and so true!

I'll have a look at the app, I do need to do the big brain dump.

I looked at the organised mum method before, I must go back and have another look.

jwil

Thank you everyone for your replies, I really appreciate it and you've given me some great things to follow up on.

I've had a stinking cold all week, so that probably hasn't helped. It's been in my throat all week, and finally feels like it's coming out so hopefully will improve from now.

I've had a fairly productive day today and getting close to ticking one big thing off my list, which hopefully will be a big relief. It's half term next week and DH is covering so I'm going to do some very long days to try and clear the backlog of work so that I can go back to doing my normal hours. At least I'm building up some flexi.

I haven't read much more of my depression book, just finding it hard to focus on stuff at the moment, so looking for easy reads (reading is still my escape).

I lost 3lb at SW last week, very pleased, as it means I'm just 1lb gained. I wish I could get past that elusive 2st barrier, I'm just gaining and losing the same few lbs all the time. Our group is being shut down which I'm quite gutted about as it was a perfect location and time. Got to find another group now.

I'm just shattered!

Kitten868

Don't forget jwil about your SAD. It's been so dark in the mornings and not getting to open the windows anywhere near as much. Its so frustrating having to have it swoop in every year and having to remember thats what it is. Not to say that's the only factor but it does contribute. I know it is for me and usually for you.

Hope you can shake this and get where you want to be soon. I'm trying to channel myself into christmas planning so as not to let the SAD in.

You're doing so well xxx

jwil

Kitten868 wrote: »

Don't forget jwil about your SAD. It's been so dark in the mornings and not getting to open the windows anywhere near as much. Its so frustrating having to have it swoop in every year and having to remember thats what it is. Not to say that's the only factor but it does contribute. I know it is for me and usually for you.

Hope you can shake this and get where you want to be soon. I'm trying to channel myself into christmas planning so as not to let the SAD in.

You're doing so well xxx

That's true, yes, thank you. I hope it's not too bad for you too x

pennywisepoundstupid

Morning JWil, sorry you have been full of cold hope your starting to feel brighter.

Jwil have you had any blood tests to see if your deficient in anything, only mentioning it as I had bloods done in June and they came back I was really low in Iron and Vitamin D, I had guessed the Iron but was shocked at the Vitamin D especially as it was summer time but Dr told me it is really common about 60% of the country is low due to our weather and lifestyle (jobs in offices/inside and not getting much sun) I now take vitamin D everyday and have noticed a huge difference in my mood and energy, if you have already looked into it ignore my waffling.

https://thehealthyville.com/health/can-low-vitamin-d-affect/

savingholmes

Cartoon is thought provoking. We got a cleaner early in our marriage - as I refused to be that woman... Yet I totally relate to the mental load thing - and all the other jobs I pick up on the path to doing one... My solution to it feeling out of control... We would prize a cleaner above a holiday abroad. A cleaner gives me help 48 weeks of the year - rather than a nice time for 1 or 2 weeks of the year... Just another thing to think about...

jwil

pennywisepoundstupid wrote: »

Morning JWil, sorry you have been full of cold hope your starting to feel brighter.

Jwil have you had any blood tests to see if your deficient in anything, only mentioning it as I had bloods done in June and they came back I was really low in Iron and Vitamin D, I had guessed the Iron but was shocked at the Vitamin D especially as it was summer time but Dr told me it is really common about 60% of the country is low due to our weather and lifestyle (jobs in offices/inside and not getting much sun) I now take vitamin D everyday and have noticed a huge difference in my mood and energy, if you have already looked into it ignore my waffling.

https://thehealthyville.com/health/can-low-vitamin-d-affect/

Thank you, that was really interesting. I haven't had bloods done recently, but haven't ever been deficient of anything in the past when I've had them done. I do take a multivitamin, but it's worth mentioning when I'm next at the docs - thank you.

savingholmes wrote: »

Cartoon is thought provoking. We got a cleaner early in our marriage - as I refused to be that woman... Yet I totally relate to the mental load thing - and all the other jobs I pick up on the path to doing one... My solution to it feeling out of control... We would prize a cleaner above a holiday abroad. A cleaner gives me help 48 weeks of the year - rather than a nice time for 1 or 2 weeks of the year... Just another thing to think about...

Thank you. I think a cleaner would be an amazing idea, but not one I could entertain at the moment. Firstly - there's too much 'stuff' around, they wouldn't be able to do a worthwhile job, second - linked to the first - I'd be so uncomfortable with someone coming into the house in it's current state, thirdly - I just can't budget for it at the moment.

That said - it's a brilliant idea, and not something I would have thought of. It's not right for me now, but I am going to keep it on my radar to revisit next year, hopefully when we are in a better place with regards to both 'stuff' and money. So thank you