Hiring the children's other parent as nanny

AylesburyDuck

So let me get this straight,
He doesnt pay child maintenance, he sees his kids for a couple of hours a weekend, he wants to charge you to look after his own children, and you think he's a good father.:huh:
Just checking i have this right..........:eek:

Rambosmum

Those who feel he should be doing this for free, look at it this way:


If OP and ex were still in a relationship, they may decide that with the current job situation of them both that he would become a SAHD. In that scenario, the OP would be paying all bills, mortgage, food and providing money for him to feed the kids during the day and entertain them.


The OP and her ex are doing the above, just with them living separately!

marliepanda

Rambosmum wrote: »

Those who feel he should be doing this for free, look at it this way:


If OP and ex were still in a relationship, they may decide that with the current job situation of them both that he would become a SAHD. In that scenario, the OP would be paying all bills, mortgage, food and providing money for him to feed the kids during the day and entertain them.


The OP and her ex are doing the above, just with them living separately!

He sees his children for a 'couple of hours every other weekend'

You really think taking them more often 'for free' is a bad thing?

Would you say any non resident parent should be paid to look after their children? If a NRP looks after them on a weekend, why are they not compensated?

Kayalana99

Rambosmum wrote: »

Those who feel he should be doing this for free, look at it this way:


If OP and ex were still in a relationship, they may decide that with the current job situation of them both that he would become a SAHD. In that scenario, the OP would be paying all bills, mortgage, food and providing money for him to feed the kids during the day and entertain them.


The OP and her ex are doing the above, just with them living separately!

I was seeing this slightly differently too. By OP 'paying' for childcare, he essentially is unable to get another job because he has one.

He could potentially agree to have the kids for a few weeks to help her out (which may in a bad situation be the right thing to do), but long term he would need to get a job I assume if she wasn't paying him.

Either that, or he looks after them full time and has full custody - then it would be OP only seeing them at weekends and the odd day and he would be the main parent.

So it's swings and roundabouts, you can't have it both ways and expect him to look after the children full-time but not be the main parent in which he would be entitled to CM + CB + any other benefits if eligble (although I appreciate this may work out lesS)

If you aren't claming any benefits/childcare vouchers OP, then paying your ex £x amount per month is your decision and there is no legal reason why this isn't ok. If you are claiming anything, best to call up and find out.

If he is claiming benefits his side and not being honest then it will be him that is poss commiting fraud (but that would mean knowing his personal circumstances so just saying the possibilty is there)

One issue I did think given what you've told us, is he going to respect the fact you are paying him i.e help with housework etc as a Nanny might depending on job role.

Red-Squirrel_2

He sounds like an absolutely terrible choice to be responsible for a diabetic child.

You'd be better off with a better nursery!

You really should also look into claiming DLA.

kingfisherblue

Childminders and nurseries can be relied upon to look after a child with diabetes. As a leader for Girlguiding, I and the others in our team attended a training when we had a Rainbow with diabetes. There were two Brownie leaders there too, even though the girl was only Rainbow age.



I really wouldn't want a man as irresponsible as your ex looking after a child with diabetes. My ex has our kids during the day only - it's rare that he has them overnight. One of our children is severely disabled, and on the odd occasion that he has stayed with his dad, he comes home complete with his medication. My ex just doesn't give it to him, despite it being prepared, written instructions, etc.

Kenyatta

I meant he is irresponsible with money / lifestyle. He is good with observing medical advice.
I can't get DLA, I do not have access to any public funds. Ex is British, but I am not.
I don't mind paying for the children to be looked after - I would pay a similar amount for childcare anyway, in this way it at least (I hope) benefits the children indirectly.
He is definitely not interested in custody at the moment. He does not even have an own place to live, couch surfing at an elderly relative's with his girlfriend. I doubt very much that two noisy and messy pre-schoolers are very welcome there.

Mojisola

Kenyatta wrote: »

I can't get DLA, I do not have access to any public funds. Ex is British, but I am not.

You won't be claiming DLA for yourself - it will be claimed in your child's name.

Red-Squirrel_2

If your child is British you can claim for him.

It sounds like you’d decided to go ahead with this before posting though. Shame.

bobmccluckie

Please note DLA has not existed for some time for new applications. It was replaced by PIP, with different qualifying criteria.