Made A Terrible Mistake

Mylife

I slept with a married man, yes I know it was wrong but what's done is done. I'm now 8wks pregnant and have decided to keep the baby. I did not want to involve the father, but he guessed it was his and eventually I admitted it. I can look /provide tor the baby alone. Financially I'm in a good place. he seems excited, wants accompany me to all my appointments, is suggesting names etc. I have tried to tell him that I do not wish to still be involved with him but he keeps calling, texting asking how I am.He is also offering money but I have said no. I'm thinking of moving and changing my no, but that would mean leaving my well paid job . Any suggestions on how I can deal with this.

yes I know I was wrong

Mummy2cheekymonkeys

Tell his wife. Job done.

Kim_kim

Mummy2cheekymonkeys wrote: »

Tell his wife. Job done.

Or tell him you’d rather do it all officially via the CSA.

74jax

Do you not want him in the child's life? He doesn't have to be in yours as a partner but he can be a father?

KateBob

If you're only 8 weeks pregnant, how did he guess it was his?
Unless you informed him of the pregnancy, which must have ment your intention was for him to find out!

In any case, if he wishes to be involved with the child he has the right. He doesn't have the right to attend antenatal appointments or the birth unless you agree. You don't have to accept money but it may be best for the child.

The wife should be told but this isn't your place, it's his!
Whilst you haven't broken any vows (technically), don't be surprised if his wife and others blame you.

Mylife

Thank you all for your replies, someone close to both of us told him, unfortunately I had to tell a few people including friends and family , that's how it came out . As for telling his wife I have already done so much damage and do not want to cause more misery ( should have thought of it before) As for CSA , although he earns more than me I do have a good job and can comfortably provide for the baby.

I appreciate your replies

*Robin*

Every child has the right to know her/his father.

gettingtheresometime

*Robin* wrote: »

Every child has the right to know her/his father.

Or at least their paternal family medical history

hazyjo

You might be the one carrying it, but you both created it. Fathers often get a raw deal. You don't need to be in a relationship with him if you don't want to be, but please don't act like he played no part and doesn't have any rights. He's a father, not an uncle or grandfather.

hazyjo

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Or at least their paternal family medical history

Not sure I agree. I was adopted and have no knowledge of mine and wouldn't trace saying they owed me that information. What difference does it honestly make? Does everyone worry about dying from what their grandparents did, or being more at risk of getting certain diseases. From what I've seen, it's as much a hindrance, if not more so, than not knowing.

Kynthia

Is it in your child's best interest to not have their father in their life? You don't need to be in a relationship with each other if you don't want to be.