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MagicCat

Hi MeandO, long time reader here delurking to say I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, really hope you get better news soon.
I'm always so impressed but how you keep on top of your budgeting to chip away at your mortgage, it's really inspiring. Hope you and DS have a nice weekend.

MeandO

Hi MagicCat, lovely of you to delurk and say hi, thank you for the kind words and cheerleading too, it's much appreciated. xx

MeandO

Quite tearful today, OH and I had a fall out last night over him not being very supportive. All I can say is that we obviously see things from very different viewpoints and have very different versions of events. I can't help thinking this is the beginning of the end, things have been niggling for a while. Feeling more sad and alone than ever now tbh, he is literally the only person I have here other than one good friend who is soon moving hundreds of miles away. Then it is just me, myself and I and DS every other week of course. 

In other news, there are two viewings booked on my house for next week, as long as government goes ahead and allows the change in rules. DS and I went to see an empty house yesterday - one next door to THE dream house I lost 4 years ago when the sales chain on my then house broke down, so I was quite excited when I saw it for sale. Unfortunately, that excitement was quickly deflated when we walked in, it had not been looked after and is definitely not the one for us.
I am viewing a couple more houses next week, one of which I will probably cancel as the location is not really ideal. The second looks lovely, although doesn't tick every box, I could probably make it work for us. I'm feeling so disheartened by everything at the moment, I really can't believe I'm going to have to drag myself and DS through all this again, (although if you ask OH it's as easy packing stuff in boxes one end and opening the boxes in a new place, that's all there is to the whole process, so my upset is not warranted). 

enthusiasticsaver

As you are close to your parents is it not possible to relocate nearer to them or is that not possible due to work and your DS school?  It is so expensive to move it is worth making sure that the next one is the one you want to stay in. Sorry your OH is not being supportive.  

MeandO

I wish I could enthusiasticsaver, but it is just not possible unfortunately. They live in one of the most expensive parts of the country where nearly every other home is a second home and I would not be able to afford any sort of property there. As with most coastal tourist areas, work is also very hard to come by and I would likely not be able to get a well paid job there, especially in the field I work in, which is the very reason that forced me to move many years ago.
DS loves his school and friends and moving all that for a second time would hit him hard now he is that bit older, plus there is the fact his father lives in this area. As much as I don't care if I ever see the ex again, DS would miss him terribly and it would involve travels of 4 hours to see his Dad every time which would be so unfair on DS, I couldn't put him through it. 
I am well and truly stuck here unfortunately.

enthusiasticsaver

Ah yes that makes sense.  You have to do what is right for both of you.  We live in Cornwall so I know the problems you mention of second homes bumping up the prices and locals being priced out because salaries are lower.  We moved here though when my children were babies.  My eldest moved away about 100 miles after graduating and has a well paid job in a large city so she is about 2 hours from us which is not too bad.  My youngest has stayed in our town and her and her husband have just bought  a bigger house now they have 2 children but it is easier with 2 salaries and luckily their wages are very good for this area. Hopefully if you eventually move to a house you are  happier in that will make a big difference to your mood. As you say though it is stressful so not as easy as just packing and unpacking boxes.  

Now  overnight  stays are allowed can you go and visit your parents or are they still shielding?  I am  driving 250 miles to and from Surrey to pick my mum up next week to bring her down here to Cornwall for a break. 

Moneywhizz

You are going through some very hard times, it just seems to have been one thing after another for a long time now. I was also going to suggest moving to a different area, even a bit closer to your family, but of course you have to do what is best for your son. You really should take your time and make sure you are truly happy with your next house. Is there any other area, reasonably close to where you are that would be better for you, even if it meant a drive to keep your son at his preferred school? Apart from the costs of moving house is a really stressful thing to do, no matter what your OH says. It does sound as if you  are on different wavelengths and you have spoken about it before so maybe it will be for the best if you go your separate ways. If that happens though, you will need to try and build up new friendships, so that you have some adult company. We all need that for the sake of our mental health. I do hope things pick up for you in all areas of your life. The one really positive thing is that you are so on top of your finances and have put yourself in a good position to make changes when your need to. 

Pink_Butterfly

Sending you some much needed hugs. It’s a shame you can’t relocate. I imagine getting your parents to move close to you is out of the question, particularly with your mum’s health. I’m in a FB group for single parents & I know they have spin off groups for different areas in the UK. I don’t know how busy they are but it might be a good way to make some friends in your area? Or there’s the main group I’m in. I’m not an active member, I just lurk from time to time lol. I’ll PM you the name if you want (and if it’s allowed on here?!) x

MagicCat

@MeandO I totally understand about moving being stressful (as well as expensive!), it's not just you. I actually joked to my DH the other day that even if we won the lottery I'd stay put as we only moved last year.  I'm sorry you're feeling stuck in an area you're not happy in, it's such a difficult situation for you. Wishing you all the best with your house hunting.

crazy_cat_lady

I'm pretty sure that if you look online for stressful life experiences that moving house is right up there with changing jobs, divorce and bereavement etc. I always found with my ex that he thought I stressed about loads of stuff that he just refused to engage with (things like cleaning the house, paying bills etc) and he couldn't understand why I was so bothered.
I hope you know that you are an amazing human being and you deserve love and support from those that you give it to