No longer in use

MeandO

Thank you for popping in with your kind thoughts MumblingTaff, Moneypenny, Moguline, Chrystal and everyone else, it really does mean a lot and I appreciate you thinking of me.
I wish I had good news to share about my Mum but there is not much positivity to report at the moment. An urgent neurology consultation has been scheduled for tomorrow now and she is still in horrendous pain. I did speak to her tonight and yesterday though for a few minutes via my sister’s mobile phone when she was with my Mum. It was nice to speak to her but upsetting to hear her obviously not feeling good. I have checked in with my Dad tonight too. His health and well-being is of concern at the moment too and he is so consumed with worry about my Mum, so I phone him a few times a day presently.

It’s not helping me that I won’t see DS for over a week now and I probably won’t hear much from him as he is camping with his Dad and girlfirend’s family in an area not great for mobile reception, plus his father never manages to keep his phone charged for more than an hour at the best of times. I had a two word text from him today to say DS had ‘arrived safe’ and that was it. My response asking him a question was not replied to. I am missing DS terribly and praying he’s warm enough, safe and happy. His Dad is not known for putting others before himself, even DS unfortunately, so I always worry.

Onto the finances - I bought and paid for DS’s school jumpers for the new term today. £44 for 4, so not too bad. I will be asking the ex to pay half too when he gets back. I believe he has sold his house now, so has in excess of £90k of the equity in his bank account. I have reminded him he owes my parents at least £30K -long story - but I doubt very much he’ll do the decent thing and pay a chunk of it back. He has already made noises to DS that he intends to buy a Camper van... :mad:

Anyway... today I had to buy bulbs for the new light fitting in the Lounge that OH put up for me yesterday. I made a detour on the way home from work to home bargains as I knew they’d be much cheaper there. £5.15 spent. I also succumbed to a hot chocolate and packet of crisps at work, spending £1.60 there.
OH made me lunch and breakfast to take in so no further spends thank goodness.
On the subject of OH, our chat a little while ago seems to have hit home and he has really been quite a different person ever since. He has been extremely supportive and patient and has been helping me out without me having to ask, and he has been looking after me whilst life has been again. We’ve even discussed future plans - this is a big step forward. I’m not saying everything is perfect, but I think we both needed to lay our cards on the table and doing so has really helped. We shall see how it goes...

Earlier today I picked up a win from the post office from a competition - a funky bagel tin - I love it! It goes nicely with the decor in my kitchen and has a funny typographical slogan on it so is very me. I know it’s just a tin, but it cheered me up today!

Believe it or not, tonight is the first night I’ve spent the night alone in this house. :eek: DS is obviously away, OH came to help me with some jobs; after which we cooked and ate tea and I decided to stay at mine tonight as it was more practical and we’re both shattered.
It’s strange. I’m not sure I like it.
I’ve washed the dishes and put them away; organised my kitchen a bit; watched the last episode of the £1 house that I recorded and have now come up to bed. Hopefully I’ll sleep soundly, I really need some rest.

Oh, I nearly forgot, I sold a BIN item on eBay for around £15 profit today. I have held off listing it as it was something I was given for my birthday this year, but wasn’t to my taste. It was also probably bought for 2 or 3 times the amount it was sold for, but that’s eBay for you. I decided the money was better off being paid off my mortgage rather than the unused item sitting in the box in my bedroom. I will send the OP to the mortgage and update my signature shortly.

Sleep is calling, so goodnight all. I hope tomorrow is a better day for everyone. Xx

MeandO

£15 OP paid off the mortgage, new figures below:

Mortgage @ March 2019: £107K Now: £103,900
Mortgage OP's 2019: £1322.33/£1800
EF: £3200 • H2S: £800

crazy_cat_lady

Lots of love - I hope that the consultation went well for your mum yesterday.

MeandO

Thank you CCL, she's been scheduled for a specialist MRI so we await the results of that now.

Another £10 has been paid off the mortgage, signature updated.

I had quite a nice day yesterday. I made two lemon and blueberry loaf cakes yesterday morning. They lasted a little over 24 hours but to be fair I did share them out amongst a friend, a neighbour, OH and work. I also ate way too much.

My friend came over for coffee and cake yesterday which was lovely. She is likely to be moving an hour's drive away soon, I'm gutted tbh, she's my only real friend here.

I changed both mine and DS's bed and got all the bedding washed and on the line, as well as a further load of washing. I made the most of getting it all dry on a sunny day, knowing it was going to be wet for a while now. I only use the TD if I absolutely have to these days.

Then, I sorted through 4 bin bag full of clothes and toys OH has given me for DS after having a big clear out of his house. The stuff that isn't suitable, I am selling on FB, eBay etc and giving him the money made, despite him saying he doesn't want it.

I listed most of the saleable items on FB yesterday and had a barrage of messages which drove me a little crazy tbh! Three items have already been picked up, a fourth my friend wants to buy so will save that for her and a fifth is being picked up within the hour. Hopefully the rest will sell on eBay soon. FB selling is starting to be more trouble than it's worth tbh and it's got that I'd rather go through the faff of posting things now. It always amazes me how rude some people can be and how people turn up with no change or the wrong money.

I popped to the supermarket to buy milk earlier which will only cost me 50p for 2L thanks to a shopmium promotion (Claim already submitted. ). Whilst there I picked up some YS burger buns for 33p and a YS loaf of bread to put in the freezer for when DS is back.

CTC has been paid today so the appropriate categories have been topped up on YNAB and a little more has been swept the Christmas fund and the car maintenance fund. I'm hoping to be able to pay a little more off the mortgage before payday too, but I just need to keep it in my bank account until then and be careful with my spending.

New figures:

Mortgage @ March 2019: £107K Now: £103,890
Mortgage OP's 2019: £1332.33/£1800
EF: £3200 • H2S: £800

MeandO

I just popped to Asda for a few bits and bought some kids clothes in the sale as Christmas presents, including a few toddler t-shirts for £1 each and a set of cute girly tops for £4. Also picked up a winter woolly hat for DS for £1. :T

MeandO

Another £5 sent to the mortgage from an eBay sale.
Just about to walk to the shop and post two of OH’s eBay sales now too. I’ve listed two more items of DS’s he no longer wants. I really hope they sell as will make around £50 for his bank account and clear quite a space in our playroom.

I’ve just updated ynab and made sure everything is correct on there as it’s getting to that particularly squeaky time of the month.

I’ve managed to get one load of washing dry on the line today amongst the sunshine and showers after spending an hour doing DIY job to help someone out this morning so that’s my good deed for the day.

OH is cooking me dinner and making enough for leftovers for work on Monday.

DS is still away and I haven’t heard much from him except one quick phone call midweek. am missing him like crazy. ☹️

Still no very positive news on my Mum. ☹️

X

MeandO

DS and I were away at my parents house last week. It was lovely but upsetting in equal measures. Mum is now home, but had to be rushed back in whilst we were there. The worry is more prominent than ever.
We shall be going there again in 3 weeks and then a month after that. I think I need to factor in the increase in diesel costs into the budget now as I really have to keep these visits as regular as possible.

DS is now at his Dad’s and I’m missing him more than ever. I had a blazing row with the ex yesterday concerning his obnoxious attitude towards me and his unwillingness to communicate like an adult over matters concerning DS. As usual, he can’t see anything other than what benefits himself, so there’s very little point trying to discuss anything with him further. He will never see how selfish he is and will continue to put himself first above all, DS included.

Anyway, I have now purchased and collected DS’s embroidered jumpers for school, washed and labelled all tops and bottoms and his shoes have been delivered. Turns out DS’s feet are now too wide for Clark’s shoes so i’ve had to order some online from a specialist shop.

Meanwhile, the ex had done sweet F.A. in sorting anything as usual, other than stumping up half of the cost for uniform when I ask him, albeit me having to wait until he gets paid or I get paid in instalments for it over several months. :mad: This, being the man who works full time, probably has a household income in excess of £65k and has just sold his house with £90k in his bank account - £30k of that he owes to my parents, but that’s another story. :mad: Meals and nights out and regular trips away don’t seem to be a problem either. :mad: The same man who’s never actual gone out and bought his son a birthday or Christmas present either, he just sends me money to do so and it’s never half of what I spend. :mad:
I work part time and earn around £20k and am juggling this house and all the associated bills myself.
Sorry, rant over.

And breathe...

I’ve been paid and money has been shuffled around into various pots. I need to top up the EF and car maintenance pot when the tax credits and child benefit are paid in September.

I very much doubt i’ll be making any huge dents in the mortgage this month but that’s the way it is. I just don’t have the spare cash.

I have been keeping up the eBay sales for OH and also a few things of DS’s. Stupidly, I managed to stick the printed labels on the wrong parcels for two of them though and they got sent to the wrong people so I refunded them and wrote those off. It’s my own stupid fault for rushing and trying to do too much. :mad:

I’m due a refund of £79.99 and also a top cashback payout of £100. These will have to go towards topping up the diesel, groceries and other spends pots unfortunately, I very much doubt i’ll be able to save any or use as OP’s.

My parents very kindly sent me back home with lots of bits for my cupboard, fruit from their garden and some plants for my garden. :heart2: I really enjoyed digging out some more beds and planting these the other day. It was most therapeutic! I’ve also managed to put some screening up that Dad gave me a little while ago. Yesterday I also found the right screws to put a towel rail up in the bathroom which i’d bought long ago. It feels good to finally get a few little jobs ticked off. They also very kindly gave me a £20 Tesco gift card to help with some groceries. They are so very good to me.

I have to say, the thought of moving near them has really been on my mind and even DS spoke about the possibility too. There are just too many financial barriers in place to do so though and DS really doesn’t want to move schools again. I wish i’d done it years ago when it would have been easier.

crazy_cat_lady

As always - lots of love to you. Sounds like such a stressful time at the moment, and I have everything crossed for your mum's health.
Sorry about your ex. I moan a lot about my ex being completely absent but at least I don't have all the hassle of having to deal with him for the sake of the kids.

Honeysucklelou2

I think your ex and mine must be related .

Is it worth exploring a move closer to your parents?

Thinking of you and your mum.

MeandO

Thanks for your support as ever CCL & HSL2.
HSL2 - I feel for you if you're dealing with much the same!
CCL - I think that is the one positive thing amongst all the stressful times that you're having. Not saying it's a good thing he's not around for his kids, but my oh my, it can wear you down having to deal with the constant presence of a difficult ex.

The move is not an option unfortunately. Work, finances and the cost of property and living in that area just doesn't balance, not to mention taking DS out of school again and everything else. I should have done it years ago when it would not have been so difficult.

OH and I have been away for a lovely few days. Nothing flash, just a few nights in cheap accommodation, a couple of pub meals out and sandwiches and budget-friendly picnics sitting by rivers and parks etc. It was really lovely and much needed. OH insisted on paying for 90% of the food and drink and has transferred £100 to my account today to cover costs towards the accommodation that I sorted out. We had a lovely, lovely time.

DS is now back with me and I'm sad to say school starts in a few days. I love having time off with him and a break from the frantic rushing about that is work combined with the school run.
We've not ventured far today, we're both tired, but did have to go to tesco to get supplies in which I never usually do with DS but it was necessary today.
I went to the normal YS shelf, only to be greeted by a huge gang of shoppers, all surrounding and preying on the poor YS markdown girl and her trolley. I really can never be bothered when it's like that and feel sorry for the staff, so carried on getting the bits on the list. I turned the corner and there was a rather empty YS meat section with no-one there, so I picked up 5 packs of various YS marinated chicken breast pieces from the BBQ range for £1 each, reduced from £4.50 and two smoked base fillets for 70p. We also found 2 packs of reduced bagels for 40p each. :T The chicken has all been frozen for future use and I'll give OH a pack of bagels later. We had a trolley full and entire shopping cost me under £5, thanks to the £20 gift card my Dad kindly gave me.

Whilst we were there we used the coin counting machine to change up a huge tin of loose change my Dad gave to DS. I know there's a fee for using them, but it was the best way of changing it up for us. DS was pleased with his £27 from that! He's saving the money for a trip he's going on with his Dad at half term.

I've topped the savings pots up again and finally feel a bit happier about the amounts in them now with the car insurance, MOT and house insurance all due before Christmas. The car tax is also due this month but thankfully mine's only £30 a year.

I've taken some meals out of the freezer for me to take to work this week and have had a little stocktake of what was in there. I'm determined to eat better and not to waste money buying food from the canteen from now on. It's just a case of being more organised.

I've transferred £50 to the EF account and overpaid the mortgage by just over £42 thanks to YNAB telling me I had that spare.

DS is wanting me, shall update again soon x