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MeandO

The ex has transferred another £30 he owed me so I’ve sent it to the house pot.
£40 cash has been taken out to cover the gas safety check next week, not sure how much the electric certificate and check is going to cost yet, the guy hasn’t got back to me.

Just cooking a ys chicken dish for OH and I, still have some leftover cold chicken on the fridge from yesterday which we’ll use up tomorrow.

I’ve wrapped a few Christmas gifts today which I will be taking to my parents house when I go home. Saves me posting them nearer Christmas and gets them out of the way for moving house. I am still hoping this will happen before Christmas.

Feeling tired, over anxious and a bit sick tonight just thinking of everything that’s ahead of me. Hopefully a good night’s sleep will help.

MeandO

I’ve just spent around £74 ordering the rest of the Christmas gifts for my ‘not local to me’ family which has meant I’m more or less finished Christmas shopping for all the adults I buy for now. I have had them delivered to my parents’ house as I’ll be there later next week, and I can wrap, label and leave them there. The money has been transferred from m gifts pot to the main account to cover it and YNAB has been updated. I do love my savings pots scheme now, it is such a big help.

I have a few more bits to buy for DS, a couple of bits for OH and two children from his family and then a few little token chocolatey gifts to buy and that’s me done! I have scaled back this year for obvious reasons and am not spending like I normally do, except for DS.
I’ve stopped buying for a few distant family members we never see or hear from and have told them, via my Mum, not to buy for us either, a Christmas card will suffice. I’m not being tight, but it is all a bit ridiculous and I can’t afford to do it anymore.
My immediate family understand that money is tight and are not materialistic in the slightest.

OH came over for food and brought some ingredients for our dinner. It was very nice, even better that it was mostly ys items!

I’m now sat in bed and have sent OH home earlier than he planned on staying I think. He really annoyed me and was completely insensitive during a discussion we had tonight and, tbh, I just wanted my bed and to be left alone with DS.
I sometimes wonder if relationships are worth it...

Anyway, off to sleep for me now, night all xx

Honeysucklelou2

That is impressive to have Christmas presents sorted out, well done.

MeandO

I tend to buy things throughout the year as I see them on offer HSL2, it definitely helps to save the £’s!

I went up to the new house site today and left feeling rather downhearted. I don’t love it at all. In fact I wouldn’t be buying it in ‘normal’ circumstances. It also seems the developers are just trying to squeeze every penny out of their customers by excluding things that would normally be included.
I came home to my lovely old house and cried. I can’t believe what I am about to lose in terms of space and size and character and the hard work I’ve put into it, and the cost of the house that I am replacing it with. I am so upset about it all. It feels like a nightmare that I can’t wake up from.
The garden alone is about a 12th of the size of our current big garden. I don’t know how I tell DS we’re probably not going to be able to fit his beloved trampoline in the garden, particularly as it’s sloped.

I’m so down about it all.

System

Oh sweets is there honestly no other option? If you are about to borrow the largest amount you can borrow for a house you don’t love then I pray there’s another option! Just seems so unfair. Are the costs of fixing your current home too much for a parental/bank loan?

I apologise... I’m sure you’ve explored every avenue. Your posts break my heart

Thick_n_Thin

Hello, I just wanted to drop by and offer some support, your diary is so inspirational and I think you are coping amazingly well! What you are dealing with would put anyone under a huge amount of pressure! You are an amazing example to your child and your parents must be very proud of you so don’t feel like you can’t accept their help. Well done to you and I am a firm believer in what’s meant to be will be, maybe this house move will open up some avenues for you even though you can’t see it now. I’m rooting for you! X

MeandO

loopybecs wrote: »

Oh sweets is there honestly no other option? If you are about to borrow the largest amount you can borrow for a house you don’t love then I pray there’s another option! Just seems so unfair. Are the costs of fixing your current home too much for a parental/bank loan?

I apologise... I’m sure you’ve explored every avenue. Your posts break my heart

No need to apologise hun, I really appreciate your posts and support. In fact, I've just been looking at the tax credits/universal credit calculator again after your last post on the subject. I've taken the £409 off from my monthly earning (even though it doesn't actually tell you to anywhere! ) and, if the calculators and that deduction are correct, I'll be around £50 a month worse off. With a few cut backs to savings pots I will be able to manage. If my first calculation of £150 down a month is correct though I will be a mess!

Unfortunately my options are so limited. As someone has said to me this weekend, 'you don't HAVE a choice MeandO.' I could try and sell it on the market for around £5k more than I've been offered part ex, but then I would have to pay fees.
I could then buy a cheaper property, but there is literally NOTHING on the market locally. Everything is old and I can't do that again, particularly as my parents are contributing and are encouraging me to buy a newer property for peace of mind.

Repairs are likely to cost anything between £60K - £100K and upwards. It's major 'rip it all out and start again' stuff.
In fact one of the 'nice' builders who worked on it text me this morning to see how I was doing and to clear up a few loose ends. I joked that it was looking so good now I wanted to keep it. He quickly replied to discourage me, telling me to get rid quick.

I think what's really getting me down with the new place is the fact that every little thing is 'extra'. It's a LOT of money for what it is and I really wanted to stay local. There's no amenities that I could walk to there, I'd need the car for everything, whereas presently I can walk DS to school, to loads of shops, banks, library, pubs, parks etc. My current house just feels like a family home too, whereas the new one feels very much like a box that has been thrown up quickly.

This morning I have created another budget in YNAB and saved it as 'new house budget'. I've allowed for extra things like higher diesel costs (£40 extra) with extra mileage and higher council tax (£35 more) and of course the higher mortgage - that's about £150 more a month alone.
The good news is that I will be able to afford it all, although it will be tight. The bad news is that I will not be able to overpay my mortgage quite so much, but I should be able to overpay a little bit. If my tax credits do indeed get cut then I will have to stop the overpayments and reduce the amounts I send to pots to pay for various things over the year.

It's all so much to think about.

MeandO

Thick_n_Thin wrote: »

Hello, I just wanted to drop by and offer some support, your diary is so inspirational and I think you are coping amazingly well! What you are dealing with would put anyone under a huge amount of pressure! You are an amazing example to your child and your parents must be very proud of you so don’t feel like you can’t accept their help. Well done to you and I am a firm believer in what’s meant to be will be, maybe this house move will open up some avenues for you even though you can’t see it now. I’m rooting for you! X

Thank you for dropping by Thick n Thin and for the lovely words.
Your cheerleading is much appreciated!
Xx

redofromstart

What a nightmare MeandO.

I do think you need to try and focus on the positives about the new place or you risk sliding into the black pits of doom about it. It's a self fulfilling phrophecy really - hate the place, hate this about it, etc. What do you like about it? It isn't your dream home, but equally it isn't going to fall down overnight. It should be simple to heat and maintain, and it gives you a safe place for the boy. It's relatively easy to put your mark on it because it is such a blank canvas. You can paint a wall and make it look better without all of the plaster falling off. The garden might be tiny but you can transform it cheaply, unlike a big garden where 20 plants cost you £100 and don't even show up on the scale of things. You could have a small deck put in as a secure base for a little trampoline.

Those extras you mention can be done far more cheaply - was £100 for the builders to fit an outside plug, £20 for the same chap to fit it after work.

Everything crossed for a straightforward transaction for you.

MeandO

Thank you redofromstart, I think you're right. I do need to try and be more positive about it and I feel so fortunate to have the support of my parents, both financial and emotional.

I think the 2+ hours I spent there yesterday going through this form and that form and trying to my best to be enthusiastic just drained me completely.

I will be glad to be in a house that feels safe with the knowledge of it not falling down around our ears, that's for sure.

I will also be looking forward to planning a garden from scratch and I do love DIY and home decorating, so it will be nice to make the blank canvas our own.

It will have lovely views too - something I have always wanted.

I will definitely try and keep up the positivity.