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Honeysucklelou2

Oh MeandO, so sorry when you had worked hard to make it your home. I know it must seem hard to see any positives but all those mortgage overpayments must be a gain. Hope all the necessary meetings go as favourably for you as possible. Thinking of you ...

System

Oh god hun. I’m so sorry absolutely nothing I say will make you feel better but just know that you and your son will get through this. My inbox is open. Sending you hugs xxxxxxxxx

MrsSave

I want to come over and give you a massive hug! I can't begin to understand how you are feeling but just remember your son will be happy in any house as long as he has his mum with him. Your oh is just being at ar*e and will hopefully realise how unhelpful and how unsupportive he is being and will apologise (preferable with wine and choccies!). Genuinely, if you do want to rant at someone, I am more than happy to listen. Xxx

crazy_cat_lady

I'm so sorry to read this news MeandO :grouphug: Sending you all of the love and best wishes in the world.
I sometimes look at my house and feel that my kids deserve bigger and better - it's an ex council 3 bed semi that is in need of some TLC - nothing on the scale of what you've had to deal with. But as others have said, it's not the size or scale of the place. It's about having a roof over your head, and it's the family that makes it a home. You adore your ds, that much is very obvious - and I reckon that even if you were in a bedsit, you would be absolutely fine.
Hope all of the meetings have gone as well as they can.
Lots of love to you.

MeandO

I really do so appreciate everyone’s best wishes and kindness. Thank you all for the offers of Virtual tea and sympathy, and for taking the time to reply.

I can’t really go into detail as it’s really hard to talk about without getting distraught, but i’ve more or less come to terms with what has to happen now. I told DS today and he was ok. He was a little sad, asked if this was a dream and he’d wake up - funnily enough exactly what I said to OH the day this all happened - and then DS asked if he could keep the moving boxes to play in this time! He melts my heart that boy. He seems ok, but I’m glad I told him now and didn’t wait.

I bought some paint, undercoat and filler today to do some pre-sale ‘tarting up’ of one room. Wallpaper needs to be stripped off a chimney breast and then redone. Not too big a job, which I’ll start tomorrow,

The estate agent meeting went ok, as did the one with the mortgage advisor. Scarily, they will lend me over £30k more than my current mortgage is. Hopefully I won’t need to increase it by much but it’s reassuring to know the option is there.

My parents are insisting on paying the balance for the current building work and have offered to help me with the price of a new place. I usually try and protect them from things but there was no hiding my horror and distress the other day. I broke down to them completely. I couldn’t get any words out and was wailing. My poor parents must have felt so helpless and I must have stressed them out so much. They have been towers of strength to me though, I am so blessed to have them, I really am.

Now the waiting game is on for the builders to complete the works so that the house can be photographed and put on the market. It is such a frustrating waiting game, particularly when they’re not the fastest at doing anything much. I will have words on Monday though and plead with them to hurry it along. I really can’t afford to wait.

DS and I went to the cinema this afternoon with the last of our free tickets from my bank account. The only cost was parking which is a bit steep at £5, but it was such bad weather that I wasn’t going to walk us far.

I returned an items this morning for a £23 refund and cancelled a click and collect order I didn’t really need which cost £9, so there will be a bit more money back in the account soon. I need to get diesel tomorrow but have £40 in the budget to cover this.

I have sold 4 items on fb which will bring in £54 if collected as promised and will also clear a few more items. It’s ‘operation declutter’ here now to try and get ready for moving. I have one more item I would like to list either on fb or eBay tomorrow which will hopefully bring in around £30 and probably more once I’ve sorted more stuff out.
I have two big bags sorted for the charity shop and probably oenty more where that came from.

I really am dreading packing and unpacking again.

Oh, and OH apologised profusely and got upset himself. He has his own horrible issues to deal with presently and I think his mind is somewhat overloaded. The way he was with me was not excusable, but understandable considering other things he has going on.

Honeysucklelou2

Your resilience and the way you are getting ready is truly inspirational MeandO as is your DS.

Is it worth going down the auction route? Usually you can put reserves on the price. Thinking of you and hoping that the builders prioritise your job now so that you can move on.

ImpulseSpender

Your diary is so inspiring MeandO. I wish I could say something that would help your situation. You sound like an amazing mum and you DS is lucky to have you. I hope things pick up for you soon.

stressed.mum

Just caught up with your diary MeandO, you really have been going through it haven’t you. Take a deep breath, sit down with a pen and paper and formulate your plan. You can’t change what has happened, but you can move forward.
It sounds like you are raising a happy, secure boy - anyone who knows the value of a big box has his head screwed on!
Be thankful for your parents, but know that they are doing it because they love you, support you and want to.
Kick OH’s butt and remind him sometimes even the strong need some backup and he should be there for you in the same way you are 5here for him.

Take care of yourself, hope the sale goes quickly and smoothly and you can get settled somewhere to build a home for you both xxxx

crazy_cat_lady

I'm so pleased that you have your parents there that can support and help you. Remember what people have said on here before - they are your parents and will want to help as much as they possibly can.
Lots of love to you

Chrystal

I find that the Universe often has a strange way of working things out. Maybe the forthcoming move will be the best thing that could have happened, opening up new vistas and opportunities.
Your DS sounds like an absolute Poppet :A
Parents are strange creatures - as you must know yourself - we want to see our children happy and settled. ALL of my friends have given money to their children, and all said the same thing... I'd rather they have it now when they need it, rather than after I've died when the money won't be needed so much.
Try to keep a positive head on, stop beating yourself up and things will work out. (((hugs))) XX