Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay mum rent even when I'm not home?

marliepanda

bye_bye_band_G wrote: »

As one of the readers who come to the MMD every week following the link in the weekly email, and am frustrated by the moaners who pop up every single week crowding out the subject matter by complaining how everybody HATES them so much, I'd just like to quote the following view numbers for each of the May MMD's so far, excluding this week which is new so will be low.
23/5 16,041 views
16/5 13,335 views
9/5 8,751 views
2/5 18,435 views

That's a LOT of people who choose to read them. Because they want to. Most of them don't comment. That's fine. The readership of the silent majority is as valid as that of the weekly moaners.

Oh this explains why suddenly loads of randoms appear to answer these nonsensical asinine questions...

DigForVictory

Whether or not to post is genuine, the OP's mum has asked for money.
Were my mum to ask me for money I'd be reaching for the cashcard at once, as I know her & she'd need to be in deep mire before she'd ask. Besides which she's my mum.

In this case the lack of information makes it tricky but offhand if your mother asks for money, pony up & cosset her as well.
Signed, mother of three.

newboyontheblock

In short YES pay up. Was your room occupied by someone else ? Were your personal items left in the room ? Come on we all know it's cheaper to live at home if you're not happy move out.

eastcott5

Not sure about the tax issue. Rent a room allows up to £7500 tax free, but the rules are a bit strange for someone on benefits. You have to opt in if charging more than the allowed amount - otherwise don't declare it - I think. Is a child a lodger?

bye_bye_band_G

marliepanda wrote: »

Oh this explains why suddenly loads of randoms appear to answer these nonsensical asinine questions...

"Nonsensical asinine questions" - fine to say that if your opinion.

Calling contributors "loads of randoms" - not fine.
Unwelcoming.
Cliquey.
Offensive.
Rude.

This board is not your private friendship group for you to choose who you think is worthy of being included.

Your comment may not have been aimed at me personally but I would just point out that I've been a forum member for 6 years longer than you.

You do seem to fire off comments at a rate of knots and I would ask you to be more thoughtful about your choice of words please.

marliepanda

bye_bye_band_G wrote: »

"Nonsensical asinine questions" - fine to say that if your opinion.

Calling contributors "loads of randoms" - not fine.
Unwelcoming.
Cliquey.
Offensive.
Rude.

This board is not your private friendship group for you to choose who you think is worthy of being included.

Your comment may not have been aimed at me personally but I would just point out that I've been a forum member for 6 years longer than you.

You do seem to fire off comments at a rate of knots and I would ask you to be more thoughtful about your choice of words please.

I contribute to the forum helping (mostly) genuine people with genuine issues.

Fake issues with no information which cannot be answered in full because they are not added to and are too vague are completely pointless.

I am free to call them pointless and you are free to spend your time answering them.

FTBlalala

It totally depends on the circumstances but with so little info on the whole picture it is hard to judge.

*Purely my opinion as I am not a parent*BUT*..... As an adult who has lived at home (now 24 and buying a place), I have paid my parents some money (as have all my siblings) since the minute we were working and no longer in education. So first full time job at Wickes as a cashier at 18 when I finished college, on I think £7ish an hour. I started paying around £60 a month (agreed not a lot, about 5%) and as my pay increased so did my rent.

I have lived at home and paid rent, I have practically lived in my partner's house (6 days at his 1 day at mine ) and paid both my parents and his mum some rent and then we have rented privately too (£800pcm 1 bed flat).

So I've done a bit of everything and was lucky that I could move home and save for 2 years to now buy. I have been paying £80 a week in rent for the past 2 years in line with my salary and buying my own food and doing my own washing!

My parents started treating me like an adult once I started earning my own money and I think it has greatly helped my appreciation for the value of things and how to handle money. I have friends who are my age (24) who still live at home rent free, food in the cupboard for them to help themselves to, washing and ironing all done etc, etc and still complain they have no money and are basically still treated as children in the home so that's how they act, like children!

And yet here I am, in a much better position to look after myself and am weeks away from buying a place with my partner. All because my parents showed me that things in life aren't free. I'm not posting this to offend any parents out there but just wanted to put out an opinion from the child side.

lookstraightahead

Music to my ears FTB! Your parents did you proud!

FTBlalala

lookstraight I totally agree, they really did! And in turn, they are really proud of me so it's win win all round. I definitely think parents can be super supportive in other ways and not just monetary related.

My biggest annoyance is that they don't teach you anything about money, budgeting, bills, mortgages, renting etc in school so if you don't have that guidance at home you're pretty stuffed. It's way too easy nowadays to get into money troubles. It definitely does not help children off to a good start with us not teaching children about it as soon as we can but we teach them that you're only cool if you have the newest iPhone and if mum and dad have a 50 inch TV and a brand new car.

Sorry for being a tad off topic!! oops!!

crmism

By rent, do you actually mean Keep, or are you really saying you have some form of tenancy? Keep represents an informal arrangement, whereas a tenancy is rather more meaningful.

However, your Mum is being a little unrealistic by seeking payment for a time when you weren't in occupation. She evidently didn't need to provide food or drink in your absence, or clean up after you daily so, unless you entered into some proper agreement, there's no reason for you to pay anything. Having said that, though, why not make some payment that you're both happy with, to keep her sweet? After all, she is your Mum, and she presumably did a lot for you when you were growing up!