Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay mum rent even when I'm not home?

lookstraightahead

If relatives wanted to stay for longer than the usual visit then yes I would.

minicooper272

I do think it’s strange for your mum to try to charge rent for a time you weren’t there, as I’m presuming you’ll always have a room in her house, whether you live there or not, and it would have been fairer for her to discuss this with you before you went. If you were renting privately and going away for 3 months, you would potentially have the option to sub-let your room to cover the rent, but I’m guessing that wouldn’t have been possible here (although maybe you can suggest you do that the next time you go away!).

Best I can suggest is that you come to an agreement with her – if your rent includes bills and food, you need to deduct this from the amount you owe her (because in your own place you wouldn’t be using electricity or food if you were away).

robatwork

I'll tell you the same thing I told your mother.

Luke, I am not your father.

silvercar

I do wonder what proportion of parents take a lodger the minute their offspring vacate. I suspect it is small. If a parent isn't intent on utilising the room for rental income, I would like to know the justification for charging for it to be unoccupied.

sheepy21

Got to say as a parent myself I can't understand it. Come the day my son is old enough, we might charge him a bit of keep to go towards bills etc, but sure as hell wouldn't try and charge him if he wasn't with us!

lookstraightahead

Sometimes it is not about the money, it is about what adult children should or should not expect or get used to, like everything in life. I am not my adult childs keeper I want to treat them like an adult. Not a little child to mollie coddle.

franklee

silvercar wrote: »

I do wonder what proportion of parents take a lodger the minute their offspring vacate. I suspect it is small. If a parent isn't intent on utilising the room for rental income, I would like to know the justification for charging for it to be unoccupied.

It would depend on how cramped any parents and other children (if any) in the house are. Perhaps a spare room would be useful as a bedroom for a younger child who is currently sharing, as an office to work from home, craft/hobby room, for relatives to stay, to store items currently cluttering up other parts of the house, second TV room. There are any number of uses a spare room can be put to.

Still think it's a pointless discussion as we do not know how adult the child is. There is a huge difference between a new graduate living at home with a low paid job and a thirty odd year old boomeranger who earns more than their parents. We have no idea where the questioner fits in the scale of things. We have no idea why they were away and what was agreed when they left. We have no idea how relatively rich the mother is or who else lives in the property. We have no idea what financial help the mother has already given, if she is working, has savings, has a big mortgage etc. etc.

lookstraightahead

Franklee. You are spot on. But the thought of a 25-30 year old living rent free and going out clubbing does my head in xxx

happyinflorida

Well there's very little to go on with this week's question.


Is mum expecting and needing the money? Is she short of cash?


If yes and you can afford to pay, then pay - as she's your mum and has looked after you all your life - OR is she not a loving mum and has a drug problem and needs the cash to repay drug debts?!


Did you tell your mum you were going away for 3 months? Why no discussion about this before you went?



Did you communicate whilst you were away?



Are you now broke now you've returned?


If yes, will she accept you doing jobs around the house - to help her out, to make up for the money?


Do you normally do jobs around the house or is part of your rent, your living there with not having to do anything because you're paying?


If your mum doesn't need the money then I'd say no to paying her rent, she should be glad to have you back!



She's had no extra outgoings whilst you've been away so she can just pay for things as usual.


Is there a reason why she can't afford to pay for everything?

Pmarmalade

POLAR_BILL wrote: »

It depends on your circumstances

Summarises this entire thread (and most of these MMDs) pretty well. There is always too little information to properly advise without making a lot of assumtions.