Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay mum rent even when I'm not home?

John_Gray

I'm quite surprised that the mother in the question is not asking the son to pay for all the costs incurred in bringing him up, including child care at (say) £15 per hour over ever-so-many years.

Where is her entrepreneurial spirit? Charging rent will only provide a very small return on her investment! Perhaps she should go on a Money-Saving course - which might include the obvious fact that having children is even more expensive than buying a house...

need_an_answer

Racxie wrote: »

The majority of people seem to think these are fake for this reason, but I do remember once coming across one ages back where the OP actually owed up and joined in the discussion to ask & answer more questions.

Very rare but at least it's possible.

Then may I boldly suggest that these MMD's get there own bit of sub board somewhere and those that are genuinely interested in them can comment on an array of topics,real or otherwise until their heat is content.


Its not as if the housing and renting board isn't used,it doesn't need an injection of loosely housing related problems.
I possibly am still of the opinion that this one belongs on the families releationships and marriage or whatever forum that is,its akin with several over there where families are askind should they charge rent(it's a family issue,not a tenancy agreement in sight !)

This board I always understood to be somewhere for advice and guidance for those with a genuine query not a debate and I'm surprised that MSE see fit to want to cheapen its existence.


So Luke if you genuinely want my advice,as part of the MSE Forum team you have the ability to set a sub board for these MMD's if you choose then those interested can fully answer your dilemmas in the manner they deserve.

Swellmel06

In my opinion, and like many people have already commented, if your things were in the room, and you have prevented your mum from using that room for her own purpose (renting it out, or whatever) you should pay the rent.

It maybe a good compromise to pay a portion of the rent; especially if you havent been eating, using water, electricity gas, but essentially if the room was kept for your return then you should pay it.

Its unfortunate you didnt discuss that before you left, but also, its probably fair to consider why you were away and whether you was earning money in that time. In my opinion your room has been kept for you during the time you were away, which is a luxury that you wouldnt have anywhere else; so man up and pay up (if you can afford to).

silvercar

So how old are you? If you are 14 and on a Summer exchange scheme I think it pretty mean of your parents! If you are a student that has spent the term at uni, it's also mean given that you are surviving on a meagre loan with little parental support.

Seriously, I wonder why your parents feel it necessary to take money off you. If you are not living at home they have no extra costs, so effectively they want a subsidy to live in their own home. What parent would do that?

silvercar

Racxie wrote: »

The majority of people seem to think these are fake for this reason, but I do remember once coming across one ages back where the OP actually owed up and joined in the discussion to ask & answer more questions.

Very rare but at least it's possible.

I had a genuine MMD back in 2011. Here.

Reading back I can see that I didn't own it at the time, so it won't be the only one.

Then there weren't the accusations of staff making up the questions.

need_an_answer

Silvercar,as a board guide could you perhaps look at getting this moved to the families board?

Surely its a family issue,the type where all families have their own boundries and what one thinks is right another may have a different view on.

This isn't a rental issue in the sense of a tenancy agreement,deposit ,inventory AST periodic or whatever.

The fact that Luke has used the phrase "I usually pay my mum rent " as opposed to "I usually pay my mum keep money/board and lodge" whatever does not constitute a rental agreement.
His poor phrasing shouldn't mean that it is rent in the true sense of the word.

lookstraightahead

Yes, it appears that the son is jollying off and thinks his mum has the money to service every whim - not a good way to start an MSE life.

tallgirld

I tried that scam with my mum when I lived at home. I didn't think I should pay housekeeping when I was holiday.


It didn't work......she still made me pay.......and rightly so!

bye_bye_band_G

It depends what you and your mum consider to be the things you're paying for in that 'rent'. We've had adult kids living at home, and only asked for payment for additional expenses we wouldn't have incurred if they weren't living here. So something to cover extra gas, elec, water, and food. In this case we were asking more for 'keep' rather than 'rent'. Most friends of ours who have been in a similar situation did the same.
I think the only way a kind parent would ask for more than this would be if they felt there were more expenses that came under the 'additional' heading than that. The two I can think of would be if your mum felt she would live somewhere smaller if she didn't need to keep a bedroom for you, and also if having you at home meant there was more council tax to pay. (Which isn't the case if there are already two adults living there.)
So in answer to the question, no I don't think she should ask for the 'keep' elements of what you pay her, but if either of the last two factors I mentioned are considered to be part of what you pay her, then yes, she's still got to pay those so you pay her.

bye_bye_band_G

As one of the readers who come to the MMD every week following the link in the weekly email, and am frustrated by the moaners who pop up every single week crowding out the subject matter by complaining how everybody HATES them so much, I'd just like to quote the following view numbers for each of the May MMD's so far, excluding this week which is new so will be low.
23/5 16,041 views
16/5 13,335 views
9/5 8,751 views
2/5 18,435 views

That's a LOT of people who choose to read them. Because they want to. Most of them don't comment. That's fine. The readership of the silent majority is as valid as that of the weekly moaners.