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Charging Rent from children?
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Maybe I've not been clear.
I'm not talking about family (or godchildren) paying rent/board/keep/whatever.
I was asking what posters would do or think if that relative moved someone else in to the household.
For example, if your god-daughter lived with you, not paying rent because that's what you think is right, and moved her boyfriend in (without prior discussion/agreement with you), would you feel that was OK?
And would you still not want to take any money from both of them?
Because that's what it sounds like has happened with the OP.
The goddaughter would never move her boyfriend in without asking, it just isn't in her nature as she respects that this is our home. If she asked for him to move in then that would have to be discussed as a family. In that circumstance i might ask for a contribution towards food costs, but not for bills as a couple of extra showers and washing loads is negligible.
Years ago my lodger's boyfriend moved in for a few months and I didn't ask for anything extra as they cooked their own food.0 -
Maybe I've not been clear.
I'm not talking about family (or godchildren) paying rent/board/keep/whatever.
I was asking what posters would do or think if that relative moved someone else in to the household.
For example, if your god-daughter lived with you, not paying rent because that's what you think is right, and moved her boyfriend in (without prior discussion/agreement with you), would you feel that was OK?
And would you still not want to take any money from both of them?
Because that's what it sounds like has happened with the OP.
I've done it with one of my kids. He came home after uni and GF came with him. It wasn't a big issue, I knew it would only be for a few months while they got on their feet. To be honest I loved having her here, she would do more than her fair share of housework, was a great cook and got on really well with my younger children, in fact they adored her.
As I said in an earlier post families all work differently. My mother and father moved in with granny when they got married, I know they would have been paying something as granny wasn't well off but I think they lived cheaply for 3 years and I was born there so mum got lots of help with me and my sister when she was born, she did lots of childcare as we were growing up. My mother helped with some money when we bought our first house and did loads of childcare with my older kids. I've helped my kids through uni, two came home and lived free for a while, all got some help with first house/wedding. I do lots of free childcare for the GC who live locally. I feel that the practical and financial help I give my kids is paying on the help I got, I hope they will do the same for their kids.
Other families do things differently, it probably all balances out in the end.0 -
Just curious if the posters who don't/wouldn't charge their children board/rent would be OK with one of their children moving a partner in full time.
Would you be happy to fund additional costs (water, food, effort in shopping/cooking/cleaning) for a non-family member?
No .... Not without at least a conversation first0 -
Just curious if the posters who don't/wouldn't charge their children board/rent would be OK with one of their children moving a partner in full time.
Would you be happy to fund additional costs (water, food, effort in shopping/cooking/cleaning) for a non-family member?
We also had a student friend of my son's move in for a month over the Summer. There was some change in his arrangements and he needed to be in London for a few weeks, his mother was going to charge him to live at home and he didn't have much money, so my son asked if we would mind.
The mother phoned to thank me. A very bizarre conversation as she went about teaching him the value of money and him understanding you couldn't live for free. Which was exactly what he was doing in my home. I told her that he was a polite and pleasant young man and had no problem putting him up, but I couldn't see the logic that staying with a friend for free was teaching him anything about money, other than his family wanting to charge him for the privilege of enjoying his company.I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0 -
We also had a student friend of my son's move in for a month over the Summer. There was some change in his arrangements and he needed to be in London for a few weeks, his mother was going to charge him to live at home and he didn't have much money, so my son asked if we would mind.
The mother phoned to thank me. A very bizarre conversation as she went about teaching him the value of money and him understanding you couldn't live for free. Which was exactly what he was doing in my home. I told her that he was a polite and pleasant young man and had no problem putting him up, but I couldn't see the logic that staying with a friend for free was teaching him anything about money, other than his family wanting to charge him for the privilege of enjoying his company.
That is really bizarre. He was probably safer with you.0 -
In the grand scheme of things how much extra does this cost? One or two it doesn!!!8217;t really make a major difference financially.
Really, what do they do eat fresh air and have air baths?
Maybe the OP is finding it hard financially, she hardly needs another free-loader and a story.
Whats funny is we asked for about 50 pound a week and my daughter thought she had a great deal. That said she was very particular with food as she was heavily into health and I don't think ever purchased toilities for herself. Believe me after she left, we did not miss the money! ;-]0 -
The goddaughter would never move her boyfriend in without asking, it just isn't in her nature as she respects that this is our home. If she asked for him to move in then that would have to be discussed as a family. In that circumstance i might ask for a contribution towards food costs, but not for bills as a couple of extra showers and washing loads is negligible.
Years ago my lodger's boyfriend moved in for a few months and I didn't ask for anything extra as they cooked their own food.No .... Not without at least a conversation first
See - I may be wrong but I get the impression from the OP's posts that it was a 'done deal'We also had a student friend of my son's move in for a month over the Summer. There was some change in his arrangements and he needed to be in London for a few weeks, his mother was going to charge him to live at home and he didn't have much money, so my son asked if we would mind.
The mother phoned to thank me. A very bizarre conversation as she went about teaching him the value of money and him understanding you couldn't live for free. Which was exactly what he was doing in my home. I told her that he was a polite and pleasant young man and had no problem putting him up, but I couldn't see the logic that staying with a friend for free was teaching him anything about money, other than his family wanting to charge him for the privilege of enjoying his company.
i.e."has just moved her girlfriend in well see has been staying for 6 weeks!".
I think that's pretty rude behaviour.
It would be really helpful if the OP could come back and let us know if she actually needs her daughter to pay rent/board from a financial perspective or just thinks she should.
Personally, I think if you have 2 adult children living at home, both should pay rent/board or none should pay.
Maybe not the same amount if their wages are significantly different but I feel the OP is treating her son unfairly by charging him board but not her daughter.0 -
See - I may be wrong but I get the impression from the OP's posts that it was a 'done deal'
i.e."has just moved her girlfriend in well see has been staying for 6 weeks!".
I think that's pretty rude behaviour.
It would be really helpful if the OP could come back and let us know if she actually needs her daughter to pay rent/board from a financial perspective or just thinks she should.
Personally, I think if you have 2 adult children living at home, both should pay rent/board or none should pay.
Maybe not the same amount if their wages are significantly different but I feel the OP is treating her son unfairly by charging him board but not her daughter.
What I find strange is all the "asking"??....................my dad never in hes own home and neither did or do I?0 -
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