Charging Rent from children?

Pollycat

Just curious if the posters who don't/wouldn't charge their children board/rent would be OK with one of their children moving a partner in full time.
Would you be happy to fund additional costs (water, food, effort in shopping/cooking/cleaning) for a non-family member?

scd3scd4

svain wrote: »

Then my point is obviously not aimed at you then, is it .... I know its difficult but try seeing the bigger picture beyond yourself

Why? You are the one accusing people of milking their own children for a £100 a month. How about you stick to the OPs question.

cyantist

Pollycat wrote: »

Just curious if the posters who don't/wouldn't charge their children board/rent would be OK with one of their children moving a partner in full time.
Would you be happy to fund additional costs (water, food, effort in shopping/cooking/cleaning) for a non-family member?

My parents didn't charge me/my partner rent when we lived with them whilst saving for a deposit. I paid what the electricity went up by, and we paid towards food. If my parents had charged my partner rent then we wouldn't have been able to afford to buy a house.

Maybe it's different because by the time we lived with my parents we were engaged but he was alwaus classed as a family-member.

I like to think I'd do the same for my daughter but it depends. People here who don't charge their children; it seems like that's so they can save and that they are grateful. But if they did nothing to help around the house, expected to be waited on and have their washing and ironing done, borrowed the car and returned it low on fuel, spent their entire wages on going out/clothes/holidays/gadgets and never once even offered anything towards their upkeep costs would you still be happy to pay their way? I wouldn't be.

scd3scd4

cyantist wrote: »

My parents didn't charge me/my partner rent when we lived with them whilst saving for a deposit. I paid what the electricity went up by, and we paid towards food. If my parents had charged my partner rent then we wouldn't have been able to afford to buy a house.

Maybe it's different because by the time we lived with my parents we were engaged but he was alwaus classed as a family-member.

I like to think I'd do the same for my daughter but it depends. People here who don't charge their children; it seems like that's so they can save and that they are grateful. But if they did nothing to help around the house, expected to be waited on and have their washing and ironing done, borrowed the car and returned it low on fuel, spent their entire wages on going out/clothes/holidays/gadgets and never once even offered anything towards their upkeep costs would you still be happy to pay their way? I wouldn't be.

That's sounds fair.........it really depends on all the what's and ifs. Still I don't believe someone on 28k is happy throwing he's mum scrapes should be proud. As it clearly does not seat right with the mum.

LilElvis

Pollycat wrote: »

Just curious if the posters who don't/wouldn't charge their children board/rent would be OK with one of their children moving a partner in full time.
Would you be happy to fund additional costs (water, food, effort in shopping/cooking/cleaning) for a non-family member?

The godson lived with us for half the year for over a decade and all be ever bought was the odd case of beer. His sister moved to the UK in August and uses our house as a base when she has time off and in between work assignments - I let her pay for the odd lunch out. Wouldn't dream of charging them rent even though they're not family because we have always acted as their UK parents. They actually feature more prominently in our wills than my husband's sold nephew does.

JReacher1

maman wrote: »

I agree with you but it seems no matter how often and how simply we make the same point others are fixated that it's good to take money from 'children' when they start earning.


I know that children grow up and become adults but to me they're still my children, always will be. When they weren't adults and lived at home I paid all the bills. When they started earning they took over paying for some things like their own clothes, travel etc. so, if anything, my outgoings were less not more. I don't need their money and it gives me pleasure treating them whenever I can just as my parents did for me. I'm also pleased to see them having their own money to enjoy life including (now they've left with some help from us) the pleasure they get from their own homes and gardens.


I do realise though that in some families they can be out of pocket when Child Benefit stops and there aren't any more free school meals and then they seriously need some extra money and there are people on these boards like that.

Yes I agree. It is different if you struggle to make ends meet and need the extra money but to me my son is no more expensive to have round the house at 22 than they were at 17. The only difference is they now have started their first job. I have no inclination to tell them I want a cut of their wage for them to live in the same house they’ve lived in for over twenty years.

JReacher1

Pollycat wrote: »

Just curious if the posters who don't/wouldn't charge their children board/rent would be OK with one of their children moving a partner in full time.
Would you be happy to fund additional costs (water, food, effort in shopping/cooking/cleaning) for a non-family member?

In the grand scheme of things how much extra does this cost? One or two it doesn’t really make a major difference financially.

JReacher1

scd3scd4 wrote: »

That's sounds fair.........it really depends on all the what's and ifs. Still I don't believe someone on 28k is happy throwing he's mum scrapes should be proud. As it clearly does not seat right with the mum.

I apologise but this statement makes no sense at all. You seem to have missed (or misspelt) many key words!

scd3scd4

JReacher1 wrote: »

I apologise but this statement makes no sense at all. You seem to have missed (or misspelt) many key words!

People here who don't charge their children; it seems like that's so they can save and that they are grateful. But if they did nothing to help around the house, expected to be waited on and have their washing and ironing done, borrowed the car and returned it low on fuel, spent their entire wages on going out/clothes/holidays/gadgets and never once even offered anything towards their upkeep costs would you still be happy to pay their way? I wouldn't be.


Its not hard to understand. Families are complicated and one size does not fit all. I explained my own daughter as an example.


Some parents don't take anything as long as the children are saving for deposits for their own homes. Other don't mind it they are maybe doing their own washing/ironing or buying food.


I would not let my daughters boyfriend live for free in my home, however I would see the situation differently if they were saving for their own home say, or were engaged..


Others don't want to "milk" their children


The OP clearly thought she was having the "p" taken out of her. And some of us agreed. I think £100 a month on 28k is an insult. The daughter was paying nothing and moved a girlfriend in. My view is to agree with the OP. I can not help what makes sense to you.

Pollycat

LilElvis wrote: »

The godson lived with us for half the year for over a decade and all be ever bought was the odd case of beer. His sister moved to the UK in August and uses our house as a base when she has time off and in between work assignments - I let her pay for the odd lunch out. Wouldn't dream of charging them rent even though they're not family because we have always acted as their UK parents. They actually feature more prominently in our wills than my husband's sold nephew does.

Maybe I've not been clear.
I'm not talking about family (or godchildren) paying rent/board/keep/whatever.
I was asking what posters would do or think if that relative moved someone else in to the household.
For example, if your god-daughter lived with you, not paying rent because that's what you think is right, and moved her boyfriend in (without prior discussion/agreement with you), would you feel that was OK?
And would you still not want to take any money from both of them?
Because that's what it sounds like has happened with the OP.