Teenager and cannabis use

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Despite what anybody says here or anywhere else, you do not have to have him back in your house when he is a physical risk to you or your husband. At the point you say no, you will not put yourself at risk of physical abuse by having him back, Social Services are obliged to do something, rather than try to push the problems back on to you until he's 18 and they can say he's an adult and it's not their problem or one of you gets seriously hurt/he gets caught dealing/fighting in bars and he ends up in youth custody.

You cannot make anybody stop using any substance. If they can't manage it in prisons, it's just not going to happen in a suburban semi. If he chooses to stop, he will - but no amount of nagging, pleading or shouting will achieve that, even without any form of ODD or ADHD.

hollydays

z1a wrote: »

Yep, I can read, and I read that as "Doctor says I can do without the inconvenience of my child, so I'll pass the problem to somebody else."

I know an adult with ADHD who has never used medication.
I'm also aware of ODD and what's entailed with oppositional behaviour.
It's easy to judge isn't it?

thorsoak

z1a wrote: »

Yep, I can read, and I read that as "Doctor says I can do without the inconvenience of my child, so I'll pass the problem to somebody else."

Isn't it easy to judge when one is on one side of an anonymous computer?

OP: I have experience of an obstinate aggressive youngest teenager - but without the added complications of ADHD - and I understand just how hard it can be - even without drugs added to the agenda.

Be strong - and remember the first rule of first aid - ensure that YOU are going to be safe. xx

moxter

A few points. Firstly as you can see this isn't a unique situation, sadly. There are plenty of other kids out there who aren't bad kids but are troubled in various ways.

I'd suggest that cannabis use is more of a symptom than a root cause of all of this. Your son's ADHD (as I understand it, although I'm no expert) makes him more volatile and vulnerable to external influences, including the cannabis - so it may be that it has changed his behaviour somewhat. But it may also be other factors - stresses he's having, people he's hanging out with, that sort of thing.

Is the school a specialist school or a general one? What's their experience and expertise like with dealing with/supporting kids with special needs, or problematic kids? Is it the best option for him?

As far as external agencies are concerned, to what extent are social services involved? Bear in mind that an 18th birthday is like a magic switch - before you're 18 there are all sorts of support agencies available, and from your 18th birthday everyone stops caring. Get SS involved as much as possible while they still have a role to play.

If he's assaulting you, do get the police involved. The more times a person is arrested the less of a deterrent that becomes (remember that being arrested isn't a punishment, much as it feels like one) but they may (depends on the force) have diversionary schemes they could refer him to. You say you don't want to press charges as you don't want to hinder his future prospects; remember that there are out-of-court disposal options available if he admits an offence, to begin with some sort of Youth Offending referral which is just another diversionary referral and isn't a criminal record. Also even if things did get as far as a court, youth court sentencing is heavily biased towards rehabilitation rather than punishment.

At least with boarding school, you have a bit of a breather from having him in your house every day. There are other housing options available - SS would be able to advise better - however while there can be some reasonable solutions for kids with special needs, generally any housing provided by SS will be awful and he'd be surrounded by kids with far more problems than he has. Are there any other family members he could stay with for a while?

I knew of a similar situation where a kid with (as I recall) ADHD and Asperger's, lovely lad, very quiet and well spoken not to mention intelligent, often flew into a rage and kept assaulting his father. He also grew some cannabis. His parents were at their wits' end. They were treated appallingly by social services who passed the buck from one council to another for months and months and months. He did spend some time in supported accommodation provided by SS which I think was quite good. Eventually he spent some time in the short term with an aunt. The police were involved on a regular basis, and the parents' marriage broke down, larhely through the stress of what they were going through with their son I believe. It was a tough situation, and still unresolved as far as I know.

Best of luck.

pandora205

Who is funding the school placement, as it's clearly not working very well and needs to be reviewed? Is it specialist provision and do they have the skills to provide the support and boundaries needed? Is there in house counselling or therapeutic provision? Is there a local drugs and alcohol support charity, such as Compass, that provides knowledgeable support?

AndyPix

Just picking up on the A&E bit ..


As someone else mentioned - are you sure the issue is just cannabis ??


No body ever ended up in A&E from smoking cannabis - ever
And as also mentioned above - his behaviour is certainly not that of a usual cannabis smoker


I know a lot of them, and the last thing someone stoned would do would be to pick a fight
Too busy looking for the biscuit tin

natbags

Pandora205, Moxter - Thanks all, the school is a general one (we pay) but with great support (but even they are at their wits end) and I have to say the school have over the years been brilliant with him, but he says all the right things - totally ignores what he has discussed/agreed, and carries on regardless - he really is very charming and manipulative, when he wants to be
The only support he/we have been offered is CAHMS and they were truly awful - One Dr sat there and said to my 11 year old son - " i bet you think I'm a right T**T" - yes really! We've also tried private counselling/help and again he says all the right things to the provider or as soon as they dig too deep - he just puts up a brick wall - he will not engage. Victim support and The youth offending are team are supposed to be getting in touch - we are still waiting!
Andy Pix - we think so (but no expert), but it may have been mixed with something (so we are told) , we just dont know - but the mix with the ADHD meds certainly wont have helped

Tabbytabitha

AndyPix wrote: »

Just picking up on the A&E bit ..


As someone else mentioned - are you sure the issue is just cannabis ??


No body ever ended up in A&E from smoking cannabis - ever
And as also mentioned above - his behaviour is certainly not that of a usual cannabis smoker


I know a lot of them, and the last thing someone stoned would do would be to pick a fight
Too busy looking for the biscuit tin

Shame all the information says you're wrong.

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/750713/cannabis-legal-highs-hospital-mental-health-Scotland
https://www.theguardian.com/science/sifting-the-evidence/2013/jul/18/cannabis-psychosis-uk-drug-class-c
https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/391097/new-figures-reveal-that-number-of-people-hospitalised-for-cannabis-use-is-at-ten-year-high/

humptydumptybits

AndyPix wrote: »

Just picking up on the A&E bit ..


As someone else mentioned - are you sure the issue is just cannabis ??


No body ever ended up in A&E from smoking cannabis - ever
And as also mentioned above - his behaviour is certainly not that of a usual cannabis smoker


I know a lot of them, and the last thing someone stoned would do would be to pick a fight
Too busy looking for the biscuit tin

My son's best friend did. He was an inpatient for a couple of weeks. He had cannabis induced psychosis.

AndyPix

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Shame all the information says you're wrong.

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/750713/cannabis-legal-highs-hospital-mental-health-Scotland
https://www.theguardian.com/science/sifting-the-evidence/2013/jul/18/cannabis-psychosis-uk-drug-class-c
https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/391097/new-figures-reveal-that-number-of-people-hospitalised-for-cannabis-use-is-at-ten-year-high/

All the information ?? are you for real ?


Your first link has nothing to do with cannabis, but rather the "legal" high cannabanoids


And all that other rubbish is scaremongering crap in newspapers
No one ever developed psychosis from smoking cannabis.


It can however bring on psychotic episodes in someone who is already mentaly unwell
And that wouldnt be the cannabis putting them in A&E, but their underlying condition