taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Humdinger1 said:

@efes_shareholder do you think that time-limited couples counselling for you and NM might help things to move on? He sounds a bit stuck.  Up to you of course.  Love Humdinger xx 

potentially yes , i intend to give it a go myself and decide from there

efes_shareholder

well its that time of year 

WFH so managing to scoot around the house and get as many jobs done as possible.

NM is off tomorrow so that will be the final clean - Although anyone would think santa himself was coming to inspect my toilets the way I carry on

Work is dead so fortunately I can do it - still another half day to go tomorrow but hopefully more of the same.

Bank account is looking ok but that is because Xmas spends are currently on the everyday  CC !! I do have enough surplus wage to clear the bill I have without tapping in to savings and I am owed some money from my daughter , sister and NM for some purchases so hopefully when I have cleared those it won't look nearly as frightening.

Xmas day plans are sorted , boxing day is very up in the air ( although happily MC is not due here) so I've decided to operate an open house and we can just get pizza !!

Xmas shopping is done and a small top up delivery from Iceland coming tomorrow although I doubt I even need it !!!!!!!

Car insurance renewal has landed for £10 cheaper then last year and cheaper then we can find on comparision sites so will just let that auto renew

efes_shareholder

Hope everyone had a wonderful Xmas 

ours has been good , had my son and his partner over Xmas eve they then stayed in a local hotel 
i was slightly put out by that but respect they would rather have their own space to wake up make coffee etc and ultimately they only slept there 
Xmas morning was spent at my daughters with my increasingly adorable grandson , then home and dinner with nm , my son , his partner.  Daughter and my ex - who would have thought that would be possible a few years ago ! 

Boxing Day the grandson returned and touched my heart by walking back up the path and !!!!!! the door on mum and dad as he had decided he wanted to stay !!!
my kids went home and then when had my sister and her kids / partners for a few games and pizza - we all chipped in for takeaways 

yesterday Nm and I went to football and today his daughters and their other half’s came for dinner and more games - it’s been lovely and it’s been stress free and there has been no sign nor mention of mc although I’m told he has spent Xmas overseas with GWG 

i darent add up what Xmas has cost but its been lovely so it’s worth it 

tomorrow I have a half day at work and then on Tuesday the funeral of our family friend 

no plans for new year and I don’t really want to make any so unless there’s a last minute get together planned maybe we will wander out for a curry and come home 

I need to sort the bills in the next day or so so then it’s back to reality 

Newstartforme

Merry Christmas ES , glad you had a lovely time , your grandson sounds absolutely adorable xx

efes_shareholder

last few days I've been hit by the dreaded lurgie - the cough is relentless but its not covid !!

Has meant I've had to relax and rest a little , so bored with watching TV 

Today I am back at work , NM last day at full time work as he is retiring from his full time role with a view of going part time locally. 

Good start to the day as I found a missing wallet of his with £250 in it , it belongs to NM but he has told me to take £200 of it towards a dining table we have found in the sales. Our dining table was bought in the charity shop when I moved in 3 years ago and we have fixed the chairs several times  , the new one is from a posh furniture shop where we live and is the same size as the one we have currently but extends out to around a 8 - 10 seater. Something we realised would be really handy over xmas and likely to be needed more with our growing families so we will pop in and order it later today. 

kept myself off the sale stuff aside from this ...............oh and two zara tracksuits which are just far to comfortable !!!

Seasidegal58

Just caught up with your diary after being off the boards for a while. Can I say how pleased I am that you've finally got rid of the MC and your life is back to normal!  You had the patience of a saint dealing with him and I feel rather sorry for his mother who has inherited him now!
Hope your lurgie improves. And your new table sounds just the ticket!👍

efes_shareholder

Seasidegal58 said:

Just caught up with your diary after being off the boards for a while. Can I say how pleased I am that you've finally got rid of the MC and your life is back to normal!  You had the patience of a saint dealing with him and I feel rather sorry for his mother who has inherited him now!
Hope your lurgie improves. And your new table sounds just the ticket!👍

So lovely to see you back 

I am already much happier with mc absence , it’s almost like I feel vindicated 
The sister who also lives at home came by for dinner tonight and ended up staying - u could tell she really wanted to rant about him but Nm closed down a little and as it’s a bit sensitive I have to listen more then I give input but boy did. I want to agree with her
Bearing in mind he has only been there just over a month she has noticed A lot ! The tax bill is still not paid. He may not go to south coast now as he is having a lot of arguments with GWG , he has admitted to sister that he pays for everything and that he has spent around 15 - 20 k “dating” and “entertaining “ her in the 6 months they have been together 

he recently tapped up dad for another 1.5k from the dwindling inheritance pot although he has told sister he hasnt been touching it.

sister added that he keeps saying he needs hi own space and how much he misses living at my house , sister has told him he is an idiot as he could have his own place if he taken opportunities 

SIster described him as watching a car crash which there was no point intercepting as he takes no notice
I feel incredibly sorry for the mum , more so as it appears that the plan to go south may not happen - shes now stuck with him for the foreseeable but rather her then me 

lots of clarity on a completely dodged bullet 

efes_shareholder

so settling in to the new year and taking care of the hangover of xmas.

New table due to be delivered tomorrow , NM gave me £200 toward it and I had a £300 PB win so thats covered the cost , need to source some chairs online as they were very expensive in the furniture store although they tried their best to sell them to me. I should be able to get 6 suitable chairs for around £250 compared to £600 instore.

First grocery shop of the NY due thursday , have to get on it with the diet as more pounds are on since xmas. Also need to get back in to the gym. Managed to utilise a £15 off a £60 asda shop code that was sent to NM 

We have carribean curry chicken , cabbage and rice tonight , was chilli con carne last night - need to get the veg intake back up in this house and the sugary treats and processed snacks down !!!

Woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep so have a wash on , the meat marinating and the dishwasher already emptied on by 5 , turned the computer on to get ahead of work but have ended up on here instead.
We have football tonight but cannot decide if we want to go or not - it seems incredibly cold and more favourable to watch it on the TV but the tickets are paid for and it seems a waste.

The very early start this morning may make the choice for me. 

efes_shareholder

so small confession time...........................remember I packed up the vaping , well after a period of time off of it I allowed the odd roll up in to my life thinking that I could manage how frequently this happened etc - stupid yes and as time went on it became much more of a habit particulary after the stress of the last few months.

I'd got to a point when it was controlling me and no longer enjoyable so 10 days ago with the oppurtunity to smoke limited anyway I decided it was going. 

So far so good , I used a patch for the first 2 or  3 days but for the last week nothing and although I was foolish in the first place I am quietly confident I can walk out of this without a smoking or a vaping habit 

Humdinger1

Wonderful @efes_shareholder - you're claiming your whole life back now MC has gone.  What you heard from his sister proves that it would just have gone on and on.  Love Humdinger xx