taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Yankee24 said:

I love the idea of extreme day trip.  I have never heard of that.  Have a great time!

It was great - its a brilliant concept if you can get cheap enough flights

efes_shareholder

Had a great day in Vienna , spent a little more then anticipated as we decided on a horse and carriage trip around the centre to see things we wouldnt have time to on foot - worth it though as figured , see as much as possible.  Beautiful city and we saw alot - enjoyed it but don't think I would return so it was good to see on a budget day rather then spend on a whole weekend and hotel stays.

the day amounted to 20k steps so a lazy day and beef stew yesterday and a few lingering pains today.

Walking pad has arrived and NM assembled it in my absence , had a quick go on it but wasnt the time with aching calves !! have my gym kit at the office with me and intend to go to the gym straight from work and rejoin , will not be doing cardio though to allow my leg muscles the rest and just plan on some light weights on my arms

Not being able to shift weight is getting me down ,, I know a lot is hormonal at my age but having been slim most of my life I am not enjoying the menopot and do not want to get comfortable with it.
I am sure most of it is alcohol consumption which I am trying to keep down but dry January it will never be,

New bed has been delivered and will arrive next week so the balance needs to be paid - it will be worth it though  just hate having to pay out on things like that.

Will try and be sensible for the rest of the month , dont have loads planned socially but it is my birthday at the end of the month.
used a red letter day to book a london bus tour including lunch and have theatre tickets for the evening so shouldnt be much to add to that. 

efes_shareholder

so I have rejoined the gym - the target is 10k steps a day , hopefully an excess of that. Its jammed with people as it always is in January. We went to the football last night ( 6k steps) and it was a late finish and I HAVE to pick a perscription up tonight so unlikely we will make this evening. Because it is busy I will try and spend longer times over the weekend and friday evening , these seem to be less busy in general.
I am also a bit nervous about picking up this "coughing flu" that seems to be doing the rounds 
The important thing about Monday's visit was getting back in there and establishing a routine again.

There are 4 months until we go on holiday so hopefully enoughh time to make some progress.

I'm not seriously overweight I just weigh more then I ever have and I don't like it. A lot of my peers are using this MJ miracle weight loss pen , I am tempted but I've read it disrupts the gut and digestive system and already having a struggle to get the balance right with my own I think its best I take the tough route and give the wonder drug a swerve. Could also be seen as MSE too !

I've upped the over payment on my mortgage , I have a bee in my bonnet about getting it down as soon as I can but there is only so much I can do and I dont want to put myself under pressure.

sometimes wonder if i should have bought a flat mortgage free but that has its own issues I guess - look at it that at least I can downsize from where I am should I wish although I must admit it would have been nice not to have mortgage to pay every month

efes_shareholder

Tired.com

I have never felt as tired as I do now even in the year I spent looking after my mum.

Went to Football Tuesday night - was naughty and swerved the train fare which saved me £14 - not clever but its done now ! As NM covers the tickets it cost me £6.50 for a beer. His team also got a much needed win. We are going again tomorrow , plan is to hit the gym first thing , -pop the car to the garage for a sensor change , head to the stadium , hang around for a beer after the game and take our time leaving as quite frankly the crowds are stressful and then have dinner out before going home. The dinner out is most welcome as I have been a proper little Nigella the last few months and ready for a treat.

Cooked a Salmon and Leek Orzo Risotto last night , it was blooming handsome - came out of the pinch of nom one pan book which the kids got me @ Xmas , I love their books but this one is I think the best yet.

We have a carribean style curry chicken in the slow cooker for later.

Trying to get as many NSD as possible but its my week in the office and i am never organised enough to take lunch with me even though i make sure NM does , I will spend on the food van and possibly if i go for a walk in my lunch to the world foods supermarket ( they do big big pots of garlic puree) but that very much depends on the weather. It will get my steps up though so maybe its worth a pop

efes_shareholder

so managed to get up @5.30 today and get in the gym .....................key was to get in to bed by 9.30 , to be honest that was pretty easy as I hate winter and dont find there is much reason not to be warm and comfie in bed.

Its 11.30 and I am not 3/4 of the way to my 10k step target so it does pay to get up ! I have to nip to the local co-op for some extra chicken for dinner ( DD is coming over so I'll struggle to make a lunch pot up for tomorrow) so thats extra steps and I have had a little 15 minute splurge on the walking platform whilst work has been quiet.

Dinner tonight is mango and chicken curry , we had spicy pasta bake last night. I need to cut our carbs down though so hopefully I'll add some veggies to the plate along with the rice tonight.

Weekend was going well spend wise until sunday when i visited my grandson , we went for lunch and I ended up paying for DD2 as she drove the hours drive over ( to be fair this is prob fare as it costs her a lot in fuel to visit) and then DD1 needed to go to the M&S foodhall so I ended up buying a meal deal for dinner and the white strawberries to try which i wouldnt have bought otherwise - total spend around £50 

I have £340 left in my bank account until payday in 10 days time - I would expect to finish the month with around £200 surplus otherwise something has gone horribly wrong. 

January is bonus month and last quarter bonus was really good so I am keeping my fingers crossed that this will be the same 

Looks like I have to give in and have a smart meter fitted @ home , I am on a night and day tariff and have had an email to say the signals to my old style meter will be turned off , I dont really want a meter to be honest but looks like I dont have much choice. Has anyone managed to avoid one in these circumstances?

efes_shareholder

Mental note - 
Do not frequent Costco when hoping to end the month in credit !!!

Relatively quiet weekend , alot of which was spent decluttering - new bed arrived last Thursday so have placed my secret xmas stash and hoard of toilet rolls under the bed. NM and i then decluttered the linen cupboard ( 4 bags full) so that is now nice and organised. We also decluttered his wardrobe and took 4 bags to the charity shop. I need to do mine , I know I do but as I would like to lose some of the additional pounds I have gained since my operation I am reluctant to do it until I know whether my new size is the middle age me size or that I can be a smaller version of me. 

plan to have a look at my wardrobe this weekend  my sister suggested vinted but i can't bear the thought of having it hang round the house waiting to shift. 

As moving my xmas stashed emptied a drawer under my bed I also plan to declutter the bathroom and pop all my excess potions and lotions in to said drawer.

Yesterday I lunched with NM , my daughters and my grandson which was lovely and then I went to costco - I didnt get silly with the spends and did only purchase my targets - some soft drinks for work lunches , a big block of cheese , some chai seeds and eggs !!

NM and I plan to cut the carbs back for a few week and see if that triggers some substantial weight loss so no pasta , rice , bread  or potatoes for us. Weekly shop ordered via morrisons , heavy on green veg and used the £16 off if you spend £60 so hopefully I have got the amounts right for the week.

Have been good with the gym and got in there 5 out of 7 days last week - all of the days with the exception of Thursday I managed 10k steps , Thursday I purposely did weights only as I want to tone the bingo wings up.
Friday I did the whole 10k steps on the walking pad so it is at the moment a good buy as its too cold to go out for a walk.

Tomorrow is my birthday and work gift me a day off , we are heading in to town for lunch and then seeing wicked so a nice day planned - will need a london travel card which is around £30 I think then I am working from home until Friday so hopefully I won't be spending any more this week and should get to pay day with the £200 left that I set as my target.

misslolu

Happy birthday @efes_shareholder hope you enjoyed yourself at the play.

Seasidegal58

Belated happy birthday!🎂. I hope you had a fab day!
Re. Weight loss - I've been on MJ for nearly six months now and have lost nearly 4 stone. Still have a bit to lose so trucking on with it. I did have a few side effects in the beginning (diarrhoea, constipation and a washed out feeling) but it seems to have settled down, although it doesn't suit everyone. The drawback is that it's expensive if you're paying for it yourself like me, but nothing else has worked for me in the past and I feel so much healthier.  

efes_shareholder

Seasidegal58 said:

Belated happy birthday!🎂. I hope you had a fab day!
Re. Weight loss - I've been on MJ for nearly six months now and have lost nearly 4 stone. Still have a bit to lose so trucking on with it. I did have a few side effects in the beginning (diarrhoea, constipation and a washed out feeling) but it seems to have settled down, although it doesn't suit everyone. The drawback is that it's expensive if you're paying for it yourself like me, but nothing else has worked for me in the past and I feel so much healthier.  

Well done , thats great - I am sure you are feeling so much better for dropping so much weight. I'd like to be brave enough to try it but I've had unexplained stomach issues for years which the doctor is now putting down to severe IBS and has pretty much stopped investigating and I think the anxiety should I start it will probably bring the symptons on even if the injection doesn't.

I have about 2 stone to shift until I feel me - I've given up getting on the scales as they never reflect what I think they should say. I havent been great in the gym the last few weeks and have necked alot of wine but I am making MORE diet changes. We are trying to keep carbs to a minimun , we never really eat refined carbs and cereals etc but I have removed pasta , (including cous cous) Rice ( including Orzo but will use cauliflower rice where needed) , bread ( we only have sour dough anyway) and potatoes from this weeks shop.
I've replaced them with heaps of Brocolli , Cauliflower , Green beans and asparagus !!!! Should keep us windy and regular if nothing else.

So far this week we have had Chicken , Bacon and leek bake ( used up the last of the macaroni so small amount of pasta here) our lunch on the bus , Spicy cod which was basically cod in a passata based sauce with red peppers , onions and butter beans and a mexican chicken fajita pie ( I purposely bought low carb wraps for this) 

Todays breakfast is full fat Greek yoghurt ( higher protein)  with raspberries and blueberries with honey and chai seeds and lunch is my take on a Tuna Nicoise salad so tuna with avocado , green beans , new poratoes( again using up the last) boiled eggs and cherry tomatoes.

I don't feel anywhere near as bloated which is a good thing but my flank pain was through the roof Wednesday and yesterday - not sure if it was my liver screaming at me as I drank ALOT on Tuesday 

efes_shareholder

Today is payday - got a nice bonus but unfortunately as I still have some of my sisters inheritance money safely in a saving account the tax man has taken all of it and more - A little reminder that this needs to be moved in to her account and she needs to trust herself , I can't babysit her anymore.

The tax that she needs to pay needs to come back to me too.

Will see if I can get through the next 2 months when HRMC will take it back and then its a nice addition to the savings pot.

Any interest accumulated is staying put until the tax man has stopped taking his share.

Its my son and my nephews birthday this month so those are the only big expenses. Son will take money for his house deposit fund and nephew will cost around £30 , hes off to cologne for a day trip so I may just give him the cash in case he sees anything there.

I collected £30 from Quidco and used it to make another contribution to my mortgage overpayments - slow and steady and all that so thats £130 overpayment this month , doesn't sound alot but its better then letting it tick away I guess.

My mental health is awful right now , I had a nice birthday , lunch and theatre which I organised myself - the lunch was paid for with a red letter day voucher I got last year , NM posted it on social media and received a shed load of praise on how good he is and has gone all out and I may and am sounding fickle but it really triggered me that he sat smiling collecting the accolades. He went shopping for my present the day before ( typical man right) and got me purfeme despite me saying I didnt need any and despite my kids already buying my go to scent which I was running low on - yes he made some effort but considering for his I booked us a trip away and took him to the Ivy and Football Its shifted my energy to a negative place. 

Lots of little things are bothering me and I am really starting to consider whether this relationship is giving me happiness or if its just "easy" 

I know I snap sometimes but he takes everything I say as a criticism , I feel like i can't say anything , I did the other night as he barely said a word all evening and rolled his eyes when i asked him if he could pop out for painkillers as I was so uncomfortable and couldn't find any in the house. Our communication is just off  ,he by this own admission goes quiet to avoid arguments , I , don't feel that every discussion needs to be an argument and take his silence as a sign that he just doesn't care 
I am now matching his energy and doing very little and saying very little .................