Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

crazy_cat_lady

Evening everyone :beer:
I was asleep good and early last night, and slept pretty well, but I felt awful when I woke up. Just groggy and sleepy and desperately tired and not wanting to get out of my bed at all, and not keen on a full teaching day Friday when my head isn't in the game. Swung between shouty angry and tearful for most of the day but I survived. My Year 11 classes were lovely and pretty much looked after themselves, whilst telling me how tired I look.
I normally shop on a Saturday morning but I decided I want to have a lie in tomorrow before I go tutoring, so I did the shopping after work tonight. At least it's out of the way for another week - the freezers are still very full so we should be ok.
Whilst I feel infinitely better than I did yesterday I still need to let go of the guilt a bit and stop blaming myself for everything that happens in the world. Especially things I have no control over, like my boss's situation and court dates. And I need to give myself a bit of a break as well.
Still don't feel like reading or crochet - sleep is always the most attractive option at the moment, so I'm going to have an early night and a lie in, hopefully getting up and feeling ready to face the day tomorrow. 2 more weeks until half term. I have some work to do for the exam board, and I definitely want to get that application in as well. Plus 2 tutoring sessions. I don't think I'm going to do anything Nigella like in the kitchen this weekend - I have plenty of work related stuff to get on with and need to relax as well.
And thanks all of you for your comments about DS - he is a lovely kid. Just sometimes needs a kick up the bum. I'm not one of these Fakebook mums either - he has a few choice moments in the style of Peter and Jane, and there are days I want to smack him, but overall he's a lovely kid. As is his sister - who has gone into town with her friends looking more orange than ever tonight. It's our town's annual harvest celebrations and there's a fun fair for a week as part of the celebrations which she is intending to go to every day it's on.

f0xh0les

Love the idea of a pumpkin girl going off to celebrate harvest on the funfair.

I was at the secondary school at chucking out time with DS3 & 4 who were up to something on the 'big school' field. Could not believe how grown up the new year 7 kids looked. 12 weeks ago I saw them leaving primary every day, now, suddenly they are enormous.

Hope you get masses of good quality Zzzzzz's and feel your head is more together.

crazy_cat_lady

I hadn't thought of her like a pumpkin f0xh0les but that's exactly what it was :rotfl: She enjoyed it. Says she's taking her brother this afternoon and then going with her friends again later this evening. Good job they have their own spends for this one as I still have none.
So I woke up at 7.15 - which is a minor lie in, but the cats were hungry. And I've only been up twice during the night as well so I'm a bit more refreshed than I have been recently.
There was a text from my tutee sent at 1.30am asking if I could do Sunday instead of today. I can, but not at the time they want - so I've text back to ask if later is any good. However, I have assumed that today is cancelled and I have an unexpected day to myself... Not bad.
There are loads of things I want to do with my day but I won't get all of them done. I need to sit and try and prioritise it. I want to contact bestie and see if she's available for a cuppa today at all and a bit of a catch up (she doesn't know about my week from hell), but I also want to get all of this exam board work done, and get the application in as well. On top of that I'm determined to have a walk later - just need some fresh air and to clear my head a bit. And I'm almost done making a hat that someone asked me to do so I'd quite like to get that done over the weekend as well. That's an awful lot for one day so I need to sort out exactly what and when. At the moment I'm just sitting watching a bit of telly with a cup of tea.
I will report back in later - hopefully having gotten loads of stuff done.

Chrystal

Hope your day is going well.X

crazy_cat_lady

I think that I'll count today as a success overall, although I didn't get everything done that I'd wanted to. Didn't manage to catch up with bestie as she was out and about this morning, then dd took her brother out to the festival in town at lunchtime - so that wasn't ideal. And I ended up only getting changed into a clean pair of pyjamas rather than going out for a walk as I'd planned so I haven't left the house all day. However, I did manage to do a bit of an in house workout - so I got a bit of movement in.
So, on with the positives. Not leaving the house means not spending on frivolous things. I also didn't do any spending online so have chalked up another nsd. I also got my application in for the promotion at the exam board. I don't have high hopes for it but you have to be in it to win it. Also made a really good start on the work that I need to do for the exam board, and I should get it finished tomorrow without too much trouble. Also got finished making the first hat that my friend asked me to do, and I've started on the second. So it's been quite productive all in all.
I also decided that I couldn't ignore Christmas any more. Whilst a home made Christmas will be fantastic for my family and friends - I know that the kids are less than impressed with all of my home made stuff, crochet, foodstuffs or anything else. They're just at that age. But neither of them have asked for anything at all yet, and I have explained that funds are very tight indeed this year. I have started thinking about some things that I might be able to get them, the usual undies and nightwear but also some stuff for holiday as we're going in February. I'm thinking of a nice bag each for them, books to read and puzzle books as well. Nothing else has come to mind just yet but I know they'll need to be entertained during the journey and while we're away (although they do both have their phones). It is just a short holiday so I probably don't need to concern myself too much with it though.
I am trying to let go of the guilt that I've done nothing at all today for anyone but me, and I've just stayed in the house and relaxed. Sometimes we need days like this don't we?

beanielou

Yes, we do all need days like this so no need to feel guility

Honeysucklelou2

Absolutely...when you think how busy you are during the working day, a quiet day is a good balance.

f0xh0les

Sometimes we all just need to stop for a day. I am sure the pile of ironing does not mind, and I know my hoover loves a day off. Think of all that saved electricity.
You need to save your energy too.

crazy_cat_lady

Evening everyone :hello:
I'm quite pleased I had the day off yesterday because I have been busy again today. When I first woke up this morning I thought it was Monday so it was something of a relief to know that I could relax and stay in bed for a bit. It was cold enough for the heating to have kicked in so I didn't fancy getting up anyway (set for 14 degrees in the morning).
So I got up and had a cuppa, and finished the work that I had to do for the exam board. Then found a new box set on Netflix to watch - managed 1 episode before I had to go to my tutoring session. I had 2 tutees today with a 1 hour gap between them, so I decided to go for a walk between the sessions to get my steps up and because I'd wanted to do it yesterday but didn't bother.
It was half past three before I got home so I decided to make some dinner straight away (error because I'm now hungry but it's getting too late to eat), and then I helped DH with his homework. Also tried with a motivational speech for dd who has been picked for some event at school to do with the brightest kids in the year group (she's 1 of 8) but she doesn't want to do it because she doesn't like the other 7 in the group. I've told her there's no harm in finding out what it is (something to do with university apparently).
Then I got on with some school work for next week, then had a shower and settled to watch the new Dr Who. I thought she was brilliant and I really enjoyed it. Now just about to watch The Cry and then go to bed. Quite a bit of telly in the evenings now...

crazy_cat_lady

Next time I feel guilty about sitting in front of the telly watching a box set, please remind me of the Monday I left for work at half seven and literally didn't stop until quarter to four. No toilet break, no lunch, nothing to drink. It has been manic at work today. Monday is always busy as I have a full teaching day but I have mentioned a couple of times that there are other things going on in the background that don't directly concern me, but as I'm the union rep I usually am involved with. One of those things has hit the fan today and I've been trying to juggle that with teaching work and my usual stresses.
Good thing is when you're busy then you don't have time to think about your own stuff that's stressing you out. Not that I've felt that bad today to be honest. It's a miracle because I had a rotten sleep last night and have been awake since about half past four. All is quiet on the ex front - he's not even been in touch with the kids this weekend, which isn't entirely unusual. I suspect he's in a bad way mentally, but I am not going to try and find out - our lives are going in separate directions now and he needs to sort himself out.
It was ds parents evening tonight. I'm really thrilled to hear that he's doing brilliantly - making better than expected progress (he's smart) in all areas, keen to contribute and not getting into trouble. I know he's an amazing kid, and I'm pleased that others see that in him as well. Also pleased that his teacher hasn't seen the stubborn, rude huff-monster he turns into when he's tired or angry.
Got home about an hour ago and have heated up some freezer leftovers for tea - dd is going out to our town's fireworks display in a bit (it's harvest festival style celebration that our town does annually), ds is having a couple of hours on the Xbox and I am going to do exactly what I want to - which is sit on my bum and crochet before being in bed by 9pm.