Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

crazy_cat_lady

I need to do more reading - I really enjoy it, but just don't get enough time to do it any more. I think I prefer the crochet at the moment but I have a few books piling up that I'd really like to read...
I'm part way through my epic day. Haven't fully planned next week but I'm good to go for most of my lessons. Haven't done my exam stuff yet either, but I'll start that later once everything else is over and done with. I have gotten my fruity gin on the go, seen my mam and done my tutoring. The usual housework is ongoing as well - keeping on top of the washing up and the washing. My cleaning lady isn't coming tomorrow as I'm getting the bathroom wall fixed so I've run the hoover round and put the rubbish out.
Right - back to it then...

crazy_cat_lady

Ugh. Today has been one of those days that has felt like death by a thousand paper cuts. I just want to cry if I'm being honest - it's nothing serious, just I'm not feeling well and I'm tired, and the little things feel huge.
Had a terrible night of sleep last night - kept waking up stressed, with my head pounding. I rarely get headaches so it's usually quite bad if I do. I took paracetamol which got me another couple of hours but it's been a broken night, and I felt rubbish when I woke up. No pain in my head but it felt really stuffy and I felt rubbish.
Checked bank account and I'm already overdrawn which isn't unexpected but is still pretty stressful. I can't wait until the divorce is sorted out and I can stop paying the solicitor, and settle into the new budget. At the moment that is worrying, but I have my cash from tutoring, and child benefit to come. Plus a bit of exam work so it will be ok for the month - it just stresses me thinking of how close Christmas is and how little I have for the kids. They haven't even asked for anything for themselves yet but it's going to be so tight.
Couldn't be bothered at work all day as I have a sore throat and I'm not feeling great - plus a full teaching day. No toilet until 4pm today :cool: Plus the lady that does my lunch went home sick so I had to have a school dinner :eek: I could have used the day off to be honest but I'm expecting to be running the department for a week or two very shortly so I need to be there as much as I possibly can.
Got a message from the man who took my money to fix the bathroom wall saying that he's had an emergency today so can't fix but will definitely do it tomorrow.
DS broke the zip on his bag and I can't seem to fix it. May google as I have nothing to lose, except more money. And I needed to get him a couple of new school jumpers ordered as the weather is getting cold and his old ones are teeny.
Got home, raining, stress, naggy kids and it ended up being 7pm before I've even sat down. I can barely be bothered with anything. I kind of need to do a bit more planning, but I think that the excrement is about to hit the fan at work tomorrow so I'm busy worrying more about that at the minute. At least I have a free to look forward to tomorrow.
Right, I'm going to do an hour of crochet then settle for a very early night.

MeandO

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you CCL.
With regards to sleep, Something that works for me is a tea called ‘sleepy me’. I was sceptical, and not usually a fan of herbal teas, but this one is quite nice and it definitely helped with the sleep. I have a big box full, will happily send you some to try if you think it’s something that may help you. Just pm me if so x

f0xh0les

I hope today is a much better day.

Everything seems worse when you are tired.

You will get through this.

One day at a time.

hugs

DawnW

Hope you feel better today CCL

apple_muncher

Watty told me about a poster she'd seen on a train. It said:


Breathe in while you read this line
Breathe out while you read this line.


Hope today goes smoothly.

crazy_cat_lady

Evening all :hello: :coffee:
I wish I could report in all bright and breezy, but alas I woke up at 3am stressing about money and then couldn't get back to sleep. At least my pillow is comfortable now - that was money well spent over the summer. I'm not sure I'm going to make it through October without help from the bank of mam. The situation is not desperate - I can cover all of my living expenses, but I don't have any spare at all - which I don't like. It's quite a few years since money was this tight and I was racking up debt - can't believe I used to enjoy spending :rotfl: I just feel like utter c r a p for it now. I'm not sure if that tea will help MeandO - it's not something I'm into either, but if this continues over the week then I'll definitely send you a message for some more info.
There is very little change between yesterday and today. I am as tired as I was yesterday and still fuzzy headed and low on concentration. Work was as predicted - it's all very political and whilst not directly affecting me it is making it a bit unpleasant being there. Head of department wasn't in today so I kept an eye on cover etc. Caf! lady still wasn't back in - good job I'd packed houmous and mini cucumbers as a food option... I had a free but I wasted it sitting in a grump and so am no further forward. I really need to do some planning tonight but it may not get done as my general exhaustion levels are high. I'd rather rest tonight and start afresh again tomorrow.
I had a go at fixing ds bag when we got home, and fingers crossed it seems to have worked. We'll see if we can get a bit more use out of it as it's only a month old. Hopefully I've made a decent zip repair there.
My bathroom wall still isn't sorted - note from my man saying he couldn't get the PVC he needed today but will definitely have it by tomorrow. I really hope so because it's a total mess in there at the moment and not pleasant - I hate my bathroom when it's fully functional, never mind with broken tiles all over the place and the wall crumbling down.
Moan, moan, whinge. I have managed to have a quick shower so I am at least clean again for a day or two.
Tonight's plans include relaxing with a cuppa and aiming to finish one hat I've been asked to make. And I absolutely have to be in bed by 10.30 - hopefully with my brain clear enough not to wake me at stupid o'clock...

beanielou

If I was you I would take DS's bag back.
A month is no time at all.

crazy_cat_lady

It was only from Primarni Beanie - hardly the highest quality item. I thought about it, but it would be more hassle going back there with it, so I'll see how long it lasts for with the repair.
What a day I've had today - too busy to even think about anything. I slept through in 1 stint last night but still less than 5 hours altogether. I was awake and just couldn't get myself off to sleep again.
Got into work and was busy from the word go. I had a massive list of stuff to do during my free and managed most of it - but there's still plenty more to be getting on with. Also got an email from the exam board inviting me to apply for another role - I wish I was brave enough to not be bothered by it but I am always worried about rejection. I'm getting swayed into applying though so I might spend a couple of hours and pop an application in. Then panic. :rotfl: Had a meeting over lunch time with the Head so didn't manage to get my lunch, but that's ok. As I mentioned, there has been a bit of an atmosphere and a few things going on - but hopefully that is well on the way to being sorted out. I have nothing but respect for the Head - he's a decent bloke and I really like working for him so happy days.
Meeting after school as well, and got home about 6pm. Bathroom wall is almost sorted, but apparently the man is coming back again for an hour tomorrow to finish it off - can't wait. My cleaning lady is also coming tomorrow thank goodness.
Had a text from ex today, apologising for the atmosphere between us over the past couple of weeks. It is decent of him, and I have explained that I feel awkward in the situation - my emotions are still all very raw and I need to protect myself at the moment. It may appear that I'm being rude but it's self preservation for me at the moment.
So, after last night's poor sleep I've decided I need an early night tonight. I have made a date with ds that we're going to get into my bed at 9pm and watch The Apprentice. I doubt I'll make it to 10pm but things are still lovely with him after my money panic the other night. Finances are still dire - but I'm keeping an eye and not ignoring as I would have done in the past.

beanielou

All sounding good today