Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

Chrystal

crazy_cat_lady wrote: »

Evening all :hello:
Another poor night of sleep. Shared a bed with ds and he was determined he was having the entire space of the king sized bed by 4am. So I got ready to watch some telly to help my brain switch off and doze back over, and my blimming tellybox is broken!!!! I've only had it for 5 months So I managed to doze over without tv by about quarter to six (I get up at 6.30) and got up to see if the good people at Sky could help me. She talked me through a full reset before I went to work and it worked when I left the house. When I got home it was off again. so I rang them back again. The man I spoke to says it's the hard drive and I need a new box and they can't just send me one and I have to have an engineer visit, but because I work all week I have to pay £15 for a weekend appointment However, he is going to compensate me £17.50 for the loss of tv service until I get the visit. Good job my main telly has digital tv, but alas my bedroom telly is completely useless without the box (I am actually considering sleeping on the sofa because I can't bear the thought of no telly to get to sleep). Engineer is coming Sunday morning. While I was on I mentioned about the Sky Sports issue again, and because I was lovely and my advisor was competent they have managed to sort that out for me as well. So rather than paying for a service I don't want, they have allowed me to downgrade my service without charge, and that will save me another £17 a month:j So in spite of the fact that I have a broken box and the minor inconvenience of no upstairs telly until Sunday - I have the Sky Sports issue sorted out and have made a saving on my monthly subscription. That Sky man is actually my hero. :T
In less pleasant news - got the email reply from my solicitor's secretary. I do need another appointment (stick another £150 on the bill ) but obviously with work I can't get it. So I have a phone appointment on Tuesday next week - and hopefully that will progress things on further again. I know it hasn't been a long time as far as the process of a divorce is concerned, but to me it feels as though it's been going on for ever. I just want to get legally finished and move on. There are going to have to be some awkward conversations with ex about coming to the house (and the removal of Sky Sports - I know he's been using my login details on an app on his iPad :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:) and formalising access to the kids a bit more rather than just turning up as and when he fancies. Ugh - I am too nice for all of this business, and I only ever wanted a quiet life. I hate confrontation, it's too stressful.
Work has been manic today and I've had to bring marking home - although I haven't managed to get any of it done yet after an hour on the phone with Sky and dinner sorting etc. More than likely it won't get done tonight even though I need to. I also need some down time and I haven't had any of that at all yet and I need a shower and an early night. Just means I need to plan my time more carefully tomorrow... GAH - how can I be this busy?
No time for nights of passion unfortunately... :rotfl: I think that I need to do a bit of computing work for tomorrow though. I won't sleep if I'm fretting about that.

:T for the sky fella- have to admit I chuckled at the thought of OH trying to get sky sports on his tablet and it being missing. Karma is a !!!!! :rotfl:

Isn't it possible for your solicitor to deal with OH about access etc? I would have thought that's part of what they get paid for. Don't see why you should have to take the flak. If he says anything just tell him to discuss it with your solicitor.
Hope you find time for a bit of 'me time' tonight, and that you sleep better. ((hugs))

crazy_cat_lady

Jeez. Guess who just turned up uninvited and unannounced? However - I managed to get across that it was too awkward for him coming here and he was gone in a couple of minutes. He wanted to give dd a birthday card (her birthday is Thursday) - at least he has stepped up to the mark there anyway...
I will consider taking the laptop to bed with me Rebecca. I'm concerned I might get too tempted with the internet so close at hand - Might stick a youtube video on - it's just some background noise I need to distract my unhelpful thinking which I do so well late at night.
And yes, I have giggled over and over again at the thought of him not watching his precious football on demand. Not my problem.
My solicitor can deal with access if I need to Chrystal - but if we can sort it amicably it's much cheaper for all of us, and better for the kids. To be completely fair to him he has been quite ok with stuff - it's me and my worrying that is making it much worse. I just need to get him to stop coming to the house.

f0xh0les

If he is upset about the football, recommend
Ronaldo7.net
and
keepsporthonest.net, both free streaming of footie matches.

Paying to watch football is sooooooooo last centuary.

Then you get to be 'helpful' as well as saving him money on a new subscription.

kirtsypoos

CCL I've spent that afternoon catching up on what has been going on with you and I am SO sorry that I have missed what has been going on with your life.

For what it's worth, I think you are right that you made the correct decision for both of you.

I can't stay long as donut is stirring but I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am that you've had such a rough time, and that I was AWOL when you've been such a support to me xx

crazy_cat_lady

Evening all :coffee:
Late check in for me tonight as I have been non stop from 6am - work was absolutely hectic from start to finish. The windy weather brings out the worst in everyone and the kids were really hyper all day. Had a meeting after work and then came home and went out to visit dd's school. It was open evening for prospective students for next year, and I wanted to check it out for ds as we will be applying this time next year. Plus bestie wanted to start looking as well. I am much reassured about the school after my visit tonight - I had seriously gone off the place after a couple of incidents with dd. But the staff are amazing there, and I feel certain that it's the best place for him to go.
So I got home just before 8pm, and am shattered. I didn't sleep that well last night as I had suspected. I got to sleep easy enough but when I woke up at 4am I couldn't get back over. I gave up trying at 6 and got up for the day. Tellybox is still broken of course, so a couple more days of that yet. I will bear that in mind for ex thanks Foxholes - it will keep him happy and me in the good books. I've had some scrambled egg on toast and will be heading to bed really soon. I feel like I got barely anything done work wise today and feel quite unprepared for the rest of the week. Hate when things get away from me like this. I have a free tomorrow but that definitely won't be long enough to catch up. Best thing for me will be a good night's sleep and worry tomorrow.
And a paid for holiday somewhere warm and relaxing...
Kirsty - it's lovely to see you back. Please don't worry about not being online - you've gone through a massive change this year. Hope donut is well

lcc86

Hi CCL, I don't know what your bedroom setup is but I have always had trouble sleeping and I removed all clocks from my room and when I wake up I make sure I don't check my phone. That way I've no idea what the time is and can't fret about how little time there is before I have to get up. Apologies if you've already tried this, I just found it quite helpful. I also count backwards from 1000 if I'm REALLY struggling, it's so boring you can't help but fall asleep before too long!

crazy_cat_lady

Where is the line between being tired and stressed and being depressed? I don't think I'm depressed, but then lots of depressed people say that... I haven't lost interest in things, but I feel like life is a bit much at the moment and I kind of want to run away and hide - I wish it was all over. Not life, just the divorce, and having no control over what is going on at the moment.
And the sleeping... when I'm well I can sleep ok, but when I'm stressed the middle of the night is when my brain goes into overdrive. I put the telly on in my room during the night because it distracts my brain enough to get to sleep again. That's why I'm struggling without it - I wake up when the cats wake me for whatever reason, then can't get back because I start thinking about everything that's going on and how helpless I feel about it. I have done that lcc, with no electronics etc but that only helps if I'm not fretting about other things as well. So I've been awake since 4 this morning - didn't manage to get over to sleep again.
As a result I've been very tired and emotional all day, with random bursting into tears. Not for no reason, but for trivial reasons... things that shouldn't be making me sad are making me cry (like my boss's grandad dying). That's why I've been wondering about my mood, but I think I just need to work through this and try and remember to accept what I can't change.
Work was hard. Then took ds to his swimming lesson, then came home. Heating had clicked itself on so it must be cold in here tonight. DD is out - it's her birthday and her boyfriend has taken her to Nand0s for her dinner. I have a load of work to do but I'm very well aware that I actually need a night of doing nothing much and just relaxing. But that might stress me out even more because I won't relax for worrying. Yes, this is how much my brain hates me at the moment.
I thought I would check in here, but I don't intend to do anything else online at all tonight. Telly and crochet, and winding down.

DawnW

I think you need to see your GP CCL - you may not be depressed, but you are definitely stressed and anxious. Hopefully s/he can give you something to help you over the next few weeks, and counselling wouldn't be a bad idea either. Take care xx

beanielou

No words of wisdom.
Take care of you

Honeysucklelou2

Hi CCL,

Sorry to read that sleep has been difficult. It sounds like a combination of the demands of the job combined with stress from the divorce. Being in limbo is a tricky place. I understand...I have to take a day at a time at the moment because between work and legal stuff I have no more brain space. Hoping work is easier for you tomorrow and you get a decent night's sleep.