Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

crazy_cat_lady

Ah diary readers - I am definitely not myself. How much of this is perimenopause and how much is actual illness only time will tell. I thought I might go to the doctors and discuss it with someone, but I went online and remembered the hilarity of ever getting a doctor's appointment at my surgery... I don't know if there's any point - if there's anything that can be done to help. If any ladies have been through this and had any success with anything please share - I'm getting desperate.
So I went to bed for 9 last night and watched Casualty in bed - then couldn't fall asleep. It was after 1130 before I dozed over then I was awake at 1am, 4am, 5am and gave up and got up at 7am thinking I should be feeling a bit better but I wasn't. My back is aching, I still have a fuzzy head (day 3), my hands and feet are really stiff for some reason, and I feel tired and likely to cry at everything. Fed the cats, had a cuppa and watched a couple of episodes of The Crown before heading off to tutoring. Half way there, the orange 'tyre pressure' warning light came on in the car so I pulled in at the next services to check and top up with air, only to find a completely flat tyre - puncture - on a Sunday :mad: I'm sure you can imagine how I felt with that on top of my current feelings I asked where the nearest garage that was likely to be open was, but the guy in the shop knew absolutely nothing. I thought I'd put the spacesaver spare on there and wait till tomorrow but then it started raining and I thought I couldn't be bothered changing a wheel in the wet - so I googled to see if I could find anywhere near me that was open. Thank god for National Tyres - 2.5 miles away and open on a Sunday. I filled the punctured tyre as full as I could and drove off with my hazards on, at 30 mph to get there. I was quite pathetic by the time I got there and the tyre was completely flat again. I asked them to check all of the tyres for tread (it was on my list for next weekend anyway) and he said the other front tyre would also need replacing in the next couple of months, so I asked if he could do both. Total amount in my emergency fund £175 - cost of tyres £172. Devastated, but at least I had it I suppose. Took 45 minutes, so I had to cancel tutoring (£30 lost) and then headed home to pick the kids up and go to my mam's house. By the time we got there (approx 15 miles) the warning light was still on in the car so I asked stepdad if he could have a look. He's a proper old fashioned step dad though - has his own air compressor and everything. 10 minutes and he'd checked everything - determined that they hadn't put enough air in the new tyres and inflated them a bit more. Phew. I was determined not to cry though - my mam has been a bit down recently and I didn't want her to see how rubbish I'm feeling at the moment.
We ended up coming home a bit early because I really wasn't feeling well and was starting to get the niggles of cystitis approaching on top of everything else My mam had some cystitis sachets in the house and gave them to me and sent me home for a rest. I won't see her now until Christmas Eve - unless I get properly sick in which case I'll ask her to come and keep me company. Got home, had a sachet and fell asleep on the sofa for 2.5 hours. You would think I'd wake up feeling all refreshed but I woke up feeling like I'd been in a fight. My knees are now stiff as well as my hands, feet and back and my head is still fuzzy. I really need to feel better tomorrow otherwise I won't be able to work whether I want to or not. Meh.
I've had some tablets and another sachet and will probably be in bed before 9 again.
So it's been a very unproductive day - no crochet, no Christmas prep, just sleep and dealing with a minor car emergency
Sorry for the negativity - I just hate feeling poorly, and am the ultimate rubbish patient.

trix-a-belle

Oh you poor thing CCL, get a bit of paper out and right down everything on your mind before you go to bed so you can hopefully just sleep through with it not in your head even if you burn or bin the list straight after.
sounds like your stepdad is a proper good egg to check round everything, not great that you had to change 2 tyres but better safe than sorry xx

foxgloves

Oh dear, CCL.... what a day. Absolutely infuriating you had to use your emergency fund, but at least you had it could pay for the tyres.
I wonder if you have some kind of virus? It would explain you feeling tired & headachy & the achey joints, but some of it could also be perimenopause. Mine was awful - quite a lot of missed days at work from dreadful headaches every month, plus feeling so wiped out at time of the month it was like flu without the respiratory symptoms. I didn't have achey joints, just crushing tiredness. I wasn't looking forward to the menopause as I assumed I'd feel even worse! But no, I couldn't have been more wrong about that. Have been practically symptom-free. I think I must have done all my suffering in the perimenopause instead. Once my periods finally stopped, so many symptoms just melted away. It's really difficult to know why you feel so bad. What is your diet like at the moment? Low blood sugar can cause headaches & generally wobbly weird symptoms, so that's one thing to consider. It can also wake you up at night, because of the 'jitters' it can cause.
A virus is probably possible too. You do work in the sort of environment where viruses multiply pretty easily. I don't think any of us on here are any substitute for getting a Dr's appointment. You may well have a long wait but if you wait another fortnight before booking one, you'll be building in another delay. Hope the next couple of days sees an improvement.
F x

Honeysucklelou2

What a day you've had with the tyre trouble but good job to get it sorted out and be safe. Hope you are feeling better in the morning.

Pooky

I get the headaches, the stiff joints, the crushing tiredness and had about 18months of hideous anxiety/palpitations and hot sweats. I did a lot of reading on more natural help and over the past 2 years have found a way that helps. I feel almost normal now (well aside from those few really hormonal days each month). I know we can't give medical advice on here but this is what I take, you can read up on what might be suitable for you.

Vitamin D 50ug
Evening primrose oil 1000mg for 2 weeks then normally need to up it to 2000mg for 2 weeks to help the hormonal issues.
Menopause support capsules (asda version have the same active ingredients as the more expensive ones) I use these to top up vitamins but for their soy iSoflavones.

If I miss a few days I get the hot sweats back, so they are definitely helping.

HRT might be an option for you, it's apparently better to start it during perimenopause but depends on your Dr. (I follow the menopause Dr on insta for some good tips and advice). It's a route I didn't want to go down but obviously lots do.

I've also switched to decaf tea, I drink around 10 cups a day and I read that it would help with the palpitations so gave it a go. Not had palpitations since but that could be the other stuff too.

You've got a lot going on so delegate, simplify and give yourself some time to work through this.

f0xh0les

What a sh*te day! Hopefully it all came at once and you have had your quota for the rest of the year.

Try bumping up the vitamins/ menopace/ maybe iron? Sounds a lot like what the dr said were my perimenopause symptoms - dr said it sounded much like the menopause but to be honest it could have been pretty much anything except pregnancy! Not offered any tests or anything, just 'what would you like me to do? ' one medical degree wasted. Anyway, after about 2 months it all bugg3red off (as I was properly bored of it by then). I had the weird joint aches and palpitations and all sorts too, but the not sleeping was disturbing - I do not like sleep anyway, so it was not upsetting, and god knows I am blessed with only needed about 6 hours anyway - but I was worried about driving after only having 2 or 3 hours a night. Anyway, it went as quickly as it arrived. Even the night sweats and hot flushes. Gone. I have dropped down to a 19 day cycle, which is just completely flippin' ridiculous, but anyway.

It will not last forever and we think you are great.

I hope you are just fighting off a virus, combined with stress, yeah, just! I know. 9 more work mornings to get through.

Then you can do CCL self-care. You need to invest in you. You are important. So there.

JustBreathe

Hi CCL I read your diary regularly and you sound so down, that I felt compelled to comment.
Your symptoms sound very similar to a virus I had recently, which took me over 3 weeks to recover from. I found the only thing that really helped with the aches, feeling sick etc were cold & flu tablets. Hang in there and you will hopefully start to feel better soon x

crazy_cat_lady

Well it's a good news bad news kind of day.
I feel better than I did yesterday, but not well by any stretch. I definitely have cystitis. I tested at work - we have keto sticks there (no idea what for), and I am mildly infected so desperately trying to fight it off with plenty of water and over the counter stuff. Last time I had it I needed 3 rounds of antibiotics to shift it. It's not so bad I can't work but I won't manage if it gets much worse.
I have a doctor's appointment - on the 23rd. Remembered to get online at 8.30 and bagsy myself an appointment then. I'll see what she says - I'm almost certain this is 90% hormonal, and in a fortnight when I'm feeling better I'll wonder why I'm at the doctors. However, I am definitely on the verge of burnout (again) and obviously fighting off something physical as well so it seems to be a combination of things. Just get me to lunchtime on December 20th.
Thanks all for the advice about dealing with my hormones. I am grateful and will try it all. I know my diet isn't great but there's definitely something else as well. I am higher risk for diabetes thanks to my mam and my weight so I had been wondering about that too, but no glucose in my pee when I tested it.
Work was about survival - I cried twice over stupid, nothing things. One was because I'd had 2 kids moved into my class and nobody had told me, and therefore I had not copied enough worksheets. Definitely hormonal. The other was because I wanted to go and talk to the Head and I couldn't find him. Beyond ridiculous.
Left as early as was humanly possible to take dd to the doctors for her acne review. It is so much better but she thinks it's still awful and is really self conscious about it. Doctor has given another 3 months of antibiotics and then wants it to be reviewed again afterwards. I was really impressed, and wished I'd made my appointment with that doctor - but I'm happy with the one I did get. Since I got home I've been on my laptop - switching between work stuff and this - so it's really nearly time for me to put it away for the night now. Planning another early night tonight and hoping for more rest...

SpekySquarehead

Hope you feel better soon. Sounds like you're going through the wringer just now.

Keep on keeping on and we're all hear supporting you!

pink68

I just wanted to wade into the perimenopause discussion. At the beginning of the year I was feeling like you. Sad, crying, aching, headaches. It had built up over a couple of years and I was really starting to worry for myself. GP referred me to a rheumatologist at Addenbrookes, so convinced was he as well that I was 'proper' ill. I was spending my weekends dozing on the sofa, unable to exercise, then not sleeping properly. I would scream at my husband in the middle of the night if he woke me!
Consultant said it was probably post-viral or hormonal related. Definitely not rheumatoid.

So I decided to treat it as post-viral. I rested whenever I could, ate carefully, avoided too much alcohol and sugar, and just told everyone else to sod off for a few months.

Anyways between my first appointment with the rheumatologist and the 2nd (about 5 months), it all started to clear up. By the time I went for my follow up I had to admit I didn't know what I was doing there.

So give it time, try and rest, my health improved as my periods declined which I'm sure wasn't a coincidence. Now apart from some physio for remaining arthritis in my knee and hip I feel great.

But do try and get an earlier GP appointment for your cystitis, you know it's only going to get worse by then!

Helen
x