Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

crazy_cat_lady

f0xh0les wrote: »

Karen? Karen? Who the flip is Karen?
[/COLOR]

beanielou wrote: »

Generation X
noun
the generation born after that of the baby boomers (roughly from the early 1960s to late 1970s), typically perceived to be disaffected and directionless.

I was born in 1977 so towards the end of generation X - I relate a lot to some millennial 'traits', so maybe the same with you and Baby Boomers Beanie? I was lucky enough to get on the housing ladder, and not have to pay for my education and I didn't grow up in the world of internet and mobile phones, but am still young enough to have had them from my late teens. I'm quite interested in the 'traits' of the different generations - it's the negatives that get talked about more, like disaffected for Gen X and entitled for Millenials, but there's lots more to it than that. I asked dd (who is gen Z) and she says to tell you that Karen is basically a middle aged woman who likes to 'speak to the manager' about everything. Speky, me and dd just googled Karen memes and had a bit of a laugh at some excellent haircuts :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Today - too busy to get anything much done - full teaching day and a visitor in from Newcastle university so 'entertaining' over break time. Plus I'd been awake during the night for over an hour stressing about money (I've decided to cancel my trip to the Lakes in Feb, I just can't afford it) and what happens next. I need to stop trying to maintain my current lifestyle - I can't afford it. It's a sad realisation to be in a good job with good money and still struggling to make ends meet. I need to make changes and suck it up. So I'm tired (again) and winding myself up over things I can't really help in the short term (again). Still I have gotten out of worse situations than this in the past, and I will do it again - I just need to focus on it and work hard.

beanielou

At the end of the day the rub is that (like me) you only have one income.

foxgloves

Another potential 6 months before the financial settlement with the house gets sorted is both frustrating & expensive.
Much as you like to get away for a break, I think if I were in your position, I'd defo have cancelled the Lake District getaway too. Lying in bed worrying about money & rising debt is horribly stressful. As a major part of this problem is outside your control, the only way forward, really, is to be pro-active on those elements where you do have some influence. Obviously you'll need to buy some things for Christmas, but apart from that, it's probably time for a period of essential purchases only. It won't be for ever. We're on one income too. Lots of people are, & lifestyle changes can often easily be assimilated into daily lives...... except rubbish coffee & falling-down pants...... we've all got our red lines, haven't we?
It will eventually get sorted out. Hang on in there & get those frugal skills honed.
F x

SpekySquarehead

Well said foxgloves.

CCL, you've been through the pain of getting out of debt before. You know it's hard but you also know it can be done.

Honeysucklelou2

One more day CCL, you can do this then relax into half term!

f0xh0les

Is the divorce the only debt you have? when you add up how much it has cost so far, and how much you have left? Then it is an unavoidable expense.

If so, then in 6 months, so APRIL!(ish), that will no longer be an outgoing payment. You can remortgage to a lower level if you have no plans to move, and that will free up some extra cash, hell, you could remortgage to an amount that will get rid of the divorce costs if you wanted to.

I don't want you to stress all half term about money.

Try only worrying during standard banking hours - it works for me.

At the end of all this - and there will be an end to all this - you will be in control of your future, your finances, and your daily life. You will have options unavailable to you at the moment because you are still being kept in limbo.

Now hug your babies when you are all together tonight and tell them you love them. That is what is important right now.

Hugs.

Sayschezza

Had to come out of lurkdom to cheer you on. What I don't understand is how your XH is treating his children in order to get back at you. That's not love that's manipulation and despicable in my eyes. If he does indeed read this thread he must be under no illusions that he is hurting his children big time. Not a man in my opinion. You are a strong and intelligent woman and you will come through this despite him. It's the children he should be putting first not himself. Point scoring is a pet hate of mine and very juvenile. Hope I haven't offended you.

beanielou

Happy half term

f0xh0les

Whoop whoop you made it!!!!
Half Term
Don't you dare come down with a cold:rotfl:

crazy_cat_lady

I'm here :wave: Still alive, happy enough and not offended with anyone.
I have indeed made it to half term, but am trying to ignore the fact that I started sneezing yesterday - I'm less than a week after getting rid of the last cold I had. I can't be getting another one already.
Apologies for not checking in for a few days - I spent Friday 'relaxing' after school which basically involved me flaking out in front of the telly watching my latest box set. I was shattered and just didn't want to do anything after I'd gotten home. Then on Saturday I decided that I was going to have a day off. That basically involved me not getting the laptop out because I have a tiny bit of exam work and quite a bit of school work to do over the hols. The plan was to recreate my crochet retreat of the previous weekend, but obviously being at home meant that I had other stuff to do as well so I did my trick of 1 round of crochet followed by 10 minutes of housework. I got lots done round the house as well, including sorting out the cupboard under the stairs. I would be lying if I said I ever needed to buy wool again in my own lifetime, but I need to make sure I'm using stuff up for definite. I have made a start but it will be mammoth job. It was a nice day overall though, and I didn't even bother getting dressed, just changing my pyjamas.
Yesterday we got up and packed for an overnight trip. My ex's family haven't seen the kids since before we split up so I had decided that I was going to make the effort to visit them (2 of ex's uncles). I had booked and prepaid for a night in a Prem1er 1nn way before I ran out of money this month so that was going ahead. I woke up feeling quite stressed about it but we'd arranged to go to my mam's for lunch before heading down there (about a 2.5 hour drive). Got to my mam's and ds started complaining about pain in his back - the same pain that got him hospitalised in August So I rang 111 for advice and was sent to the out of hours place - bit of a wait but I was told to manage it with painkillers and plenty of fluids. So we got the go ahead for the drive down south. Got a reasonable run down, checked in at the hotel and grabbed a bite to eat before heading over there. It was quite awkward if I'm being honest, but it is done, and I'm pleased that we went. After all, the situation between me and ex is nothing to do with them, and I think that they were quite pleased to see the kids as well. We were back at the hotel and in bed for 10pm, and I feel as though I slept quite well. Although the kids both said they didn't. DS had fallen over on the path on the way out from visiting and grazed his knee quite badly and he insisted the pain kept him awake. DD said it was too light and too noisy to sleep. I was ok though :rotfl:
Made the most of the breakfast on offer this morning before heading into town for a look around the shops and a coffee with the absolutely amazing Foxgloves. Yes, our Foxgloves. I knew that we were close to where she lives, and I thought it would be nice to see her in real life. She is as lovely as she is on here, and my kids think she's brilliant - which is very high praise coming from an 11 and 15 year old. I really enjoyed the company, chat and coffee shop. If I lived near there I'd be even larger than I already am, and more skint. She also brought me some home made gifts - biscuits (which ds is already demolishing), jam and chutney, which I am VERY excited about. It ended the trip on a real high - it was good to see ex's family, but really good to see Foxgloves. Me and the kids had a wander round the town before heading home - we needed a tiny bit of grocery shopping and I could see a Wa1trose from where I had parked the car, but the kids insisted on my finding a Mr S. So I asked google and drove a couple of miles to a 'compact' Mr S, which was nothing but disappointment for the kids :rotfl: - it was about half the size of your average Aldee :rotfl: I refused to go anywhere other than the A1 after that, so they didn't get what they wanted, but we were home just as the sun was setting and I've already had a shower and changed the bed, while dd fed the cats and ds sorted the washing.
Still a good few days of the hols to enjoy. I am stony broke as I've already mentioned on numerous occasions, but I have had a chance to think about finances and stress a bit less. I do have a lot of debt again (approaching 10k now - but it is almost all down to the divorce) so I suppose you are right f0xh0les. I will get through it. It shouldn't go up too much more (she says hopefully but it depends how many more times we go to court) and I need to do what you've all said and take control of the things that I actually can. Thankfully the kids are fairly understanding about it all, but it is hard with them both being the age they're at.
I also offered my Lakes holiday to my mam - I was going to lose my deposit anyway, and I thought that if she could make use of it then she should. She seemed keen and is going to ask her sister - so they and their husbands can enjoy the remote location and private hot tub. Ah well - I need to sort my debt out before I can go away lots - my exam money will go towards the Bulgaria summer holiday.
So all in all I'm feeling a lot better about stuff, as long as I don't think about money or the house for too long.