Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

janb5

The best thing for your son and daughter is that they have you as a positive role model and I`m sure appreciate the fact you are always in their corner whatever life has thrown at you.

You`ve done so well so you deserve to be very very proud!

And as for those fantastic exam results..........!

CCW007

f0xh0les wrote: »

Hamsters are incredibly noisy at night, ours scared the hell out of dh a few nights when rattling around in their wheel. Woke him up and he was terrified there were burglars in the house rattling things - just a warning! Some gerbils are nocturnal too, so if you went that route, make sure you get a diurnal one.

Toni'sfriend wrote: »

Yep, you can freeze just about anything.

Sorry, the positioning of these two posts, one about hamsters keeping you awake at night and the next saying you can freeze just about anything really tickled me!

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :wave:
I am in a bit of a mood today. Triple whammy has hit me full on - a combination of poor sleep, work dreads and today being my wedding anniversary. Yes, I know I'm divorced but it is just still sitting at the back of my mind, reminding me that I'm not good enough...
August has been a strange month. It is my favourite month of the year usually because I tend to get the whole month off work and I have a little bit of exam cash available to enjoy time and experiences with the kids. And we really enjoyed doing stuff as well - Bulgaria, London, the party, lunches out, shopping, new sofa etc. So much so that we're going back to Bulgaria next year. However, as well as these brilliant times we've had some rubbish stuff as well - having to pay for Dog the Bounty Hunter, continued frustration with court, almost constant lack of sleep, ds hospital stay and continuing illnesses and my own mental health being very variable... I think it will actually do me good to be back at work. Get back into a routine and get back to 'normality'
So I'm going to round up August and try not to think about the fact that I'm lonely in spite of my fantastic kids, friends and family and I'm going to try looking ahead to September. It's a big month for me - both kids have their birthdays in September although I don't need to think much about it because they've both had their presents from me. I also have court on the 10th - not that I'm expecting any progress at all as far as that's concerned - just another huge bill to pay at the end of it. As well as that, it's a new year at work, with new classes and a new timetable. My form class are going to be Year 8, which is sometimes a bit of a challenge (but not as bad as Year 9) and God only knows what the senior management's priorities are going to be.
I definitely need to make sure I take care of myself physically and mentally - for sure. The usual goals remain there - get my weight down and get my finances under control. I'm still convinced that the day I get a hang on these things will be the day that all my problems are solved. I always have the best of intentions but I'm rubbish when it comes to motivation and willpower.
Also need to start on prep for December. It's got to be another home made Christmas this year because funds just will not allow for anything else. One year I'd love to be away over the December hols so I can hide from it altogether. However, I'm going to start the prep of the fruity gin and jars of chutney. They need to be done with plenty of time to go.
I really hate how up and down my mood is at the moment. Going to make sure I try hard to get a grip on this.

crazy_cat_lady

And also - no more pets in this house. Hamsters and other rodents would have no hope with 7 cats. It took all my efforts to rescue the poor butterfly that got in yesterday and couldn't find its way out. They will all hunt different things, and one of them will hunt everything (including my feet if I dare move them in bed)
Woke up at quarter to four this morning with ds sitting up in bed, just watching me - so I sat up with ds until he went back to sleep and then couldn't get back to sleep myself.
I know when I'm tired that my mood is low - unfortunately I am always tired.

trix-a-belle

Oh CCL, just read that back to yourself, you are good enough, you are blooming amazing! Yes you've had negatives but you've made sure to have lots of good times too, the kids are well rounded young adults who adore you and are thankful for all the support you give them even when you are struggling.
These things are sent to try us because we can withstand the challenge even if we think we can't. You will come out the other side and the balance will keep shifting to more positives than negatives xx
Have a think about writing a 'victim impact statement' type letter for the judge for the next court date that I mentioned about before, it shows how short sighted the law is to not have an approach to your situation which is probably more common than we realise.

Honeysucklelou2

Remind yourself of those fantastic exam results ...you are good enough...I bet some departments round the country would love to have those results.

If your tiredness is a lot even allowing for the lack of sleep, perhaps think about checking your iron levels. When I felt overwhelmingly tired, it turned out to be that.

Are you able to eat school meals? Access to a microwave? Homemade soups are nutritious and easy to heat up and eat quickly!

Thinking of you re work dreads.

f0xh0les

CCL? now listen here. How many years did you make your marriage work? How many years did you hold it all together? That is an achievement in itself. Mind you I think anyone who stays married for more than 5 years can call it a success. I have two friends who did not even make 12 months before they were unfaithful, or decided they would rather be celibate (that really did not end well). Oh, no, sorry, 3 of my very close friends. Ok, so it did not work out 'happily ever after until they died' but you wouldn't want him now if he were covered in chocolate sprinkles with a sparkler up his bum.

So, I think you deserve a long service medal, as does anyone who is married for more than 10 years... or at least a certificate, or a council tax rebate. Says an old married lady with 21 years service. I don't think you failed at all.

You are not only good enough, you were too good for him.

crazy_cat_lady

Morning :wave: :coffee:
Well last night ended pretty much as the rest of the day had gone, with me feeling absolutely rubbish. My ex husband is cropping up on fakebook regularly now so I had to go into 'take a break' mode. I don't want to cut off the last possible avenue we have for communication but I can't be doing with seeing it. Anyway, he was passive aggressively having a go at me all over his page last night (my friends and family letting me know). On the plus side, he did check in at a pub while he was on - so Dog now has that information in case it is useful. I know it is because he saw about the party during the week, which is obviously hurtful for him, but I still stand by the fact that I've done everything I can to try and make it amicable and it's his behaviour that has turned the situation into what it is.
I admit that I sat and had a good cry. Not for me - but for the kids. I just cannot get my head round the fact that he completely ignores their existence whilst finding the time to rinse me on fakebook. What did they ever do to deserve that sort of treatment? They're great kids and shame on him for not caring about anything except himself. Still, as my sister says I just need to own it and carry on.
Anyway, I thought that was me set up for another rubbish night, but I actually had a really good one. Slept right through until half past seven, when ds woke me up. So I feel reasonably refreshed - or as refreshed as I ever do. I have been to the docs previously about my tiredness and had blood tests and thyroid function looked at but all clear - we came to the conclusion that it's due to my stress and anxiety levels. It is utterly exhausting dealing with anxiety...
However, I feel less anxious today than I have done. I'm not so worried about work and I'm actually quite looking forward to seeing my work family again. A couple of days before the kids get back anyway. I need to make sure that I pack my work bag and am prepped for tomorrow because getting up at half six is going to be a struggle (knowing that I can't go back to sleep).
Today's plans are almost non-existent apart from going to see my mam later for lunch and a bit of a catch up. It's been a couple of days since I spoke to an adult so it'll do me good :rotfl: I also need to do as much washing as I can as the bags seem to be overflowing again - first load is already in and on the go. I have a couple of jobs on the frog list but not sure if I feel like doing any of them. I also have a little bit of knitting (!) on the go - I found the beginnings of an attempt at a sock last night, and I figure that I at least need to have a go at getting it finished rather than just sitting saying that I can't do it.

Buffythedebtslayer

I think a good cry is an excellent way of releasing stress and maybe that helped with the sleeping?

I am also doing washing today.

have a good day XXX

tunathe_cat

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I think a good cry is an excellent way of releasing stress and maybe that helped with the sleeping?

I am also doing washing today.

have a good day XXX

CRYING is good and should not have the negativity we allow it. Its only the opposite of LAUGHTER . which we celebrate.

Just a thought for you all . Do naturist have overflowing wash baskets?:rotfl:

Big girl pants on Smile n Fake it. Cadburys rule x
xxx Hugs andrea xx