Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

erin_transport

Hi CCL
Wow! He is such a heavy burden and strain on you - it’s not fair that he keeps turning to you expecting your time and patience and advice. Time for tough love. I think you need to block him completely. To protect yourself and your mental health - his behaviour is taking a heavy toll on you and it’s not fair.
Agree totally that the children need protected from him on his decent to Rock bottom. Block and ignore.
Keep going CCL. You’re one tough lady.

apple_muncher

Hope naughty tortie is doing ok.

Honeysucklelou2

Thinking of you CCL.

foxgloves

Oh dear, CCL. You know, its a cliche, but I think sometimes people who have been in denial about their situation for a long, long time have to hit the bottom before realisation truly dawns & they start to seek help & to rebuild themselves. I think your advice was good. 'Citizens Advice' & 'Shelter' are other agencies who will be able to signpost support networks, as will your local branch of 'Mind', but people have to want to change because nobody can do it for them. I think that signposting to sources of help was the right thing to do. It sounds like he will probably be picked up by the police before long anyway. You may have to maintain your 'stuck record' stance but it is important to be consistent, as you'll know only too well from teaching. I still hope your Ex can turn his life around. It would be so much easier for your children both now & going into the future.
Stay strong..... Exam stuff too.... You defo need lots of cat snuggles & therapeutic crochet.
Love F x

f0xh0les

How on earth did he manage to hire a car with a revoked license after he did a runner with the works van? it shows initiative anyway!

The house next to me is a kind of halfway house type affair, there are around 5 people in there at any one time, they turn up at first looking a bit weasley, a bit embarrassed to say hello to me as I go in and out, and , after 6 months or so, they have their driving licences back, have jobs, turn back into real people as they stay off whatever they were on, and then one day they move out again. There are places CCL, they do exist, he will sort himself out when he is ready to sort himself out, and only he can do it. You are doing the right thing. Ignore it.


22 school days left til Summer hols!

crazy_cat_lady

Well.
My life appears to have turned into some sort of episode of Eastenders, alternating between the serious and the utterly ridiculous.
Only managed to get one cat (the Ginger Ninja) to the vet. The Black Lady has found some sort of ridiculous hiding spot in the house. I phoned and cancelled her appointment and took him on my own. And guess who was sitting on the kitchen windowsill looking out at me when I got back. I am going to make it my mission to find out where she hides - she's huge as well so in theory should be easy to find.
Had been in the house for less than five minutes when there was a knock on the door. Turns out my ex had rented his hire car at my address and there was someone from the hire place with a letter to hand deliver to him, demanding return of the car. I asked how he'd managed to hire a car at an address he no longer lives at, without a driving license....
To be continued.

beanielou

Blimey.
That is a good question.
How can you hire a car with a revoked driving licence.

I feel for you having to deal with all of this.

wishingthemortgaheaway

Oh gosh CCL what a nightmare for you. Just 'add it to the list' ready for the next court date.

Keep smiling. (And marking obviously)

crazy_cat_lady

Sorry - got caught up in something at work then didn't manage to get back on at all during the day - then I've had a bit of marking to do tonight to keep on track with my deadlines etc.
Anyway. I asked how he'd managed to hire a car without a driving license or an address. The man told me that ex had passed an underwriting check at my address (which pittled me off) and asked me if I knew where he might be. I suggested that he was perhaps living in the car and it should be reported stolen - the man told me that there was already a crime registered with the fuel theft he did over the weekend. I left my mobile phone number and said I was happy to talk to the police if they wanted to talk to me but I would not be reporting anything to them.
I'm not sure what to tell my solicitor. As he's now of no fixed abode then we have no way of contacting him for the next court date etc. That makes me want to cry even more - as does the fact that he's still on the mortgage here. I'm just trying to reassure myself that the police will have my back no matter what the council tell him he can do legally. What a c r a p p y situation I've ended up in, through only ever trying to do the right thing. I swear I feel like a prize idiot at the moment for not seeing this coming, and for thinking for so many years that I could change him.
Ah well. At least it's an entertaining story, and makes my life interesting.

PurpleFairy26

Bl00dy hell cat I have no advice. Just wanted to say you're amazing sorry you've ended up in such a situation.