Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

foxgloves

Sorry to hear this is still going on, CCL. My view, for what it's worth, is that there is absolutely nothing you can do apart from support your children and help the police with information if you are able. You are already doing both of these, so I can't see that there is any more you can or should do. You are no longer married. Your ex-husband is an adult & responsible for himself, as are we all.
I hope it is as positive an outcome as possible.
F x

crazy_cat_lady

Morning all :wave:
Thought I should check in early as I wasn't on and in case anyone was wondering what is going on. He is still missing, but the positive news is that his bank card has been used - in Scotland (exactly as I had suggested). So I've gone from worry back to generally angry with him. I have no idea where, in any part of his brain, he must have decided that this was a good idea. I asked the police what happens next - and they said that they haven't actually found him so they're going to keep looking for the moment and asked if I knew anywhere he might go, or anywhere he might stay. Seemed surprised when I said he wouldn't pay for accommodation but would sleep in the van. The officer did tell me that they have now lowered his risk level and decided that he is voluntarily missing. I don't know if this is correct, but I now have the story of the boy who cried wolf in my head. As you all say though, this is not my problem. I have told the kids that the fact his card has been used means that he's ok, and just doing what we thought - taking time out to try and sort his head. I could see the relief on ds face so I'm really pleased about that.
Who knows what will happen next? I mean, would you allow someone that had stolen your van to keep their job (it cost him his marriage when he did this to me with my car)? No job = no money. And I doubt he's paid his rent this month... I really thought that the end of our marriage would mean that he would be forced into adulting but clearly not. He's really backing himself into a bit of a corner though...
Decided to have the night off with a couple of drinks last night (hence not posting on here), and just spent time with the kids watching telly. Bagged another nsd - not intentionally - I was just so busy then so tired that it was bedtime before I knew it.:D
So - plans for this bank holiday weekend... Not many - I'm already skint for the month. Got up this morning to sleet outside as well. I'm going out with my sister and mam this afternoon, as we have bought my mam a tattoo for her birthday so taking her to get it done this afternoon. I'm doing 3 hours of tutoring tomorrow, ds has a friend staying over tomorrow night and I need to do quite a bit of school work as well (2 weeks in and I'm already behind). I'm not going out until about 1pm though so I've made myself a cup of tea and am going to sit and have a catch up on here while the kids are still asleep and all is quiet. Might do some reading actually - a friend from work brought me a book in to borrow, which he insists will have me laughing out loud. I could definitely use that at the moment.

trix-a-belle

CCL
Thanks for the update, yes good to have the news but as you say not your problem & you are rightfully annoyed.
I can't believe the police keep coming back asking you asking if you've seen him since the last time they asked, yet when they found him the first time and returned him home they couldn't tell you anything. Either they keep you updated with all updates or take any useful information you can provide, do what they do & expect you to contact them if you get any further information that may be useful not this weird 'Have you heard anything? Now we've got updates but we can't tell you'
On a side note might it be worth a gentle chat with ds about listening in on people's private conversations? XX

Have a lovely weekend, pop all of the ex stuff out of your head, you have given all the information you can. A book is always good if it makes you laugh & will give you some much needed chill time! Have you read any by Bill Bryson? I love his stuff, hilarious and full of facts!

crazy_cat_lady

trix-a-belle wrote: »

On a side note might it be worth a gentle chat with ds about listening in on people's private conversations? XX

We have already had that chat - it was done as soon as I'd managed to tell him his dad was ok. We've agreed that he needs to trust that I want the best for him, and that if I tell him I need to talk to someone on my own then there's a good reason for that. He's a blimming nosy parker though.

Honeysucklelou2

Glad you at least have positive news.

Have a good weekend...joining you on the 2 weeks in and behind already and the skint by the 4th!

juliejim

Hope you manage to find some time to chill this weekend x

crazy_cat_lady

Morning :coffee: :wave:
So, just after 8am today I got the call from Northumbria Police, saying that Police Scotland had found my ex husband. He apparently seems well, but they are taking him to hospital to get him checked over and assessed in terms of mental health and whether or not he's had any drink or drugs. They have taken the van back off him, so he's now up there with no transport, no van, no people and very little money. I almost laughed out loud when they told me that Police Scotland had asked if I would be willing to go up there and collect him. Obviously they have no idea of the situation, but I am absolutely not going to do that at all. I think that there's very little more that I can expect to hear now that he's been found. I'm not his next of kin... so unless he chooses to contact me (which I doubt) then I won't know what's going on any more. They have said that if he's assessed to be fit and well then he will simply be discharged from hospital to do his own thing. I was quite surprised about that but apparently he's an adult and he can make his own decisions. I can't help but wonder what solution his brain will come up with for this situation though... I'm going to step up security on the house for the next week or so in case he tries to come back here but other than that I'm going to try not to think about it.
Yesterday was pretty good - I enjoyed a few hours out with my mam, sister and ds while she got her tattoo done. It's made me think about getting another one I have it all planned but no money for it Then had my sister and bestie round last night for a few drinks. We had planned to cook but after a couple of glasses of fizz I allowed myself to be talked into getting a Chinese takeaway. Naughty CCL - but I quite enjoyed it, and I really enjoyed a night in with the girls as well.
My head is a little fuzzy this morning, and I'm just about to head out to my tutoring session. The good news is I fully intend to have a little nap this afternoon and appreciate the fact that I don't have to go to work tomorrow. No plans other than watching Line of Duty finale tonight.

crazy_cat_lady

Well, it didn't go entirely to plan. By the time I got in from tutoring it was half three, which is a bit late for a nap. I came home via the shops as ds has a friend staying over tonight and he wanted some lemonade in for them to drink (2x37p) Managed to resist all other temptation.
I've spoken to both kids about keeping the house doors locked at the moment, and popped round to speak to both neighbours - just in case. It does no harm to be prepared.
I have done very little else because I'm shattered. A couple of loads of washing, a bit of crochet and watched a couple of episodes of the Handmaid's Tale. I need to be awake for Line of Duty but it's not looking good so far.

f0xh0les

How on earth can the police ask you to go up and collect the person they can't give you any information on?

I would suggest you tell them 'not my circus, not my monkey', if they get back in touch.

Honestly! It's like them arresting someone for burgling your house, and then ringing you to drive them home safely.

Grrrrrrr. If he has no money, they will give him a get-out-of-jail-free travel pass to get home.

Not .... your ..... problem.

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :wave:
Today I had one of those days of doing nothing that was just amazing. Slept a bit later than usual, watched an episode of Game of Thrones, made lunches, washed dishes, did crochet, had a long soak in the bath, read a bit and did nothing even remotely work related. Bit of indulgence now as I'll be really busy in a couple of weeks for the next couple of months. It was nice - a bit of time with the kids, and cats, no stress, and some food prepared for the week ahead.
No word at all from ex or the police - so I don't know what is happening. I've barely thought about it apart from keeping the doors closed and locked all day. Not that I was going to have them open - it's freezing out there - cold enough for the heating to kick in during the day (set at 13 degrees). Life goes on and gets back to normal - another minor bump in the road dealt with...