Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

crazy_cat_lady

Honeysucklelou2 wrote: »

Does the ex have any other family member who could be contacted as his next of kin?

There's only his brother, who is about 300 miles away and I don't have a number for - and his uncle who is 150 miles away and housebound (and wouldn't allow ex to stay when we first separated and I phoned and asked). I think there's literally nobody else. But again, that's not my issue any more, and it's not like I didn't try. Of course I still want him to be ok, in spite of his really s h ! t t y behaviour over past months - but his track record speaks for itself. He wants someone to save him rather than do the painful thing of taking steps to sort things out himself. And now there isn't anyone who will save him (that I know of).
Still annoyed about the whole situation. I did my grieving when we separated and have done the best I can to move on with my life. I have no idea where he is, what he's doing and whether or not anyone has managed to find him but apart from being a bit peeved I'm fine - it's certainly not going to keep me awake at night any more.
I've had quite a productive evening tonight actually - I had a report to write for the exam board, which I've done and sent off almost a fortnight ahead of the deadline (smug face). I'm not in work tomorrow - I'm in a remote meeting with the exam board from 9 till 2. Yay! So I can have an extra half hour in bed in the morning before taking ds up to school and I can wear my joggers, or even my pj's all day if I fancy it :rotfl:

Honeysucklelou2

It's amazing how that extra half an hour can feel like such a luxury! I had to smile at your earlier post about feeling rich for a day! I often think that on payday...for those few hours before the direct debits start pinging out the next day!

Your strength shines out of your posts regarding the ex.

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :wave:
Just on my lunch break before I get back to being all busy and important with the exam board I'm not quite in my joggers but I have comfy trousers and a t-shirt on rather than my work stuff, which is nice. And I haven't done my hair either :rotfl: Going well so far after a few teething problems getting online this morning.
Got a call from the police this morning, again. Asking if I'd heard anything from ex, again. Because apparently he's still missing. That is a bit unusual for him to be away that long, and not be picked up on anpr or anything. However, I'm just still annoyed at how many people he's inconveniencing now - me, the police, his work and now my dad. Because he stayed with my dad for a few weeks when we first separated, the police want to go round there and check that he hasn't turned up there. I seriously doubt he would, but I also know my dad would tell me if he was there. I don't know if I should be starting to feel worried or not, but I'm not at all. I'm still saying nothing to the kids (although I am worried about what bad news I might have to give if he gets sectioned/loses his job or worse), and will cross that bridge if I need to. I also gave the police a bit of information about him hiring cars in previous years in case that's what he's done.
Right, best get back to work - I only have about another hour to do and then I'm hoping to get a bit of food prep done before I have to get ds from school. I've finished my avocado on toast (thanks for that idea foxgloves). I'll be back on later.

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :wave:
I genuinely didn't think that I'd be posting this but my ex is still missing. I'm really shocked and am now starting to get a bit worried. The police contacted me yesterday afternoon to ask if I had his bank details and a recent photograph so it suddenly all felt a bit scary... the work van is still missing and there's been no word from anyone. I psyched myself up to contact his brother and oldest friend to ask if he'd been in touch - nothing. Although his brother did tell me that he thought there had been a new girlfriend on the scene at some point - but couldn't tell me her name or anything so I could point the police towards her. Insisted that it was a very short lived relationship (like I care) but nobody seems to know anything about it. Unfortunately ds was listening at the door while I was on the phone to the police so I had to tell him what was going on. He had a few tears, and I've tried to reassure him that his dad still loves him and whatever happens it isn't his fault. DD is far more resilient but I've given her exactly the same message.
I didn't sleep that well last night. Not exactly worry, but the stress of not knowing what's going on and not being able to help the kids has kept my head very busy. I can get to sleep ok but I wake up early and can't get back to sleep because of overthinking and running through a million possible scenarios. It's left me quite drained today and my head wasn't really in the game at work.
The police contacted me twice at work - just looking for more information and asking more questions. Getting me to double check he hadn't contacted the kids, asking if I could think of any more people/places he could be. I keep reminding myself that it's not my problem, but I do want to help as much as I can - simple fact though is that I don't know what he's been doing for the past 6 months, just the 16 years before that. No further news since though. I tried to ask if they thought there would be a positive outcome after this length of time but they wouldn't offer any opinion at all. Fair enough.
Anyway - just pleased to survive work today. Left early and got home with a bit of a heavy head. Thankfully I had managed to do some batch cooking yesterday so had some soup there for dinner straight away. Then popped to my sister's for a couple of hours to do some catching up and help her with some practicalities regarding her separation.
Now I'm going to head off to bed and see if I can manage some better sleep tonight. I have a bit of a plan (thanks to my sister).

Buffythedebtslayer

Bit of a day then.

That is rough, highly impressive you are keeping it together so well.

I think you are handling it brilliantly XXXX

beanielou

No idea what to say really.Sorry.

SnuggleBuggles

Oh my - my stomach has done somersaults reading that. Praying your ex turns up safe. What a worry!

Take care xx

f0xh0les

This is one of those situations where there is absolutely nothing you can do.

You are protecting yourself and your children.
Hope teaching today goes well and you enjoy your long weekend.

SpekySquarehead

Hope the kids are ok. I know you'll be there to support and look after them. Try and find some time for yourself too and not let all the stresses effect you.

dawnybabes

Hope he's ok, but how bloody selfish of him. Your poor children.